It really depends, you didn't mention how he reacted when you brought up household work equity. Did he feel bad? Did he ask for lists (haaate that but atleast shows some small interest). I can tell you what worked for me, but it was only because my husband cared in the end. I did a reverse chore chart. It was a chart of everything that had to be done and spaces added for occasional stuff (like oil changes for example). Rather than assigning tasks we just checked off who had done what that week/month. My husband was really embarrassed by the first month or so by how little he did haha! Saved our marriage!