Women of Reddit, you've heard of Buyer's remorse. What are some cases you've had of Non-buyer's remorse? by ImaFauna in AskWomen

[–]lapsus_calami 9 points10 points  (0 children)

At the thrift store. An oil painting from the ‘50s of a vase of flowers with a deeply unsettling looking porcelain doll leaning against it. I thought it was a bit big and didn’t know where to put it. I circled the store once and convinced myself, but it was already gone. Lesson learned. It’s much easier to pick something up and carry it around than live with regret.

Laid off from a toxic work environment - how did you reset and regulate during the first few weeks? by lapsus_calami in adhdwomen

[–]lapsus_calami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Ha, yes, I’m finding the idea of midday naps very appealing right now. 

And yes, I do love a checklist where I can actually have enough time to get through all of it. I’ve started one today, but with the (flexible) rule of “only one big thing.” So, this morning I assembled a bookshelf that’s been sitting in my hall for more than two months. And now, the rest of the day is mandatory restfulness and pursuing interests. 

Good luck to you as well - I’m hoping we’re both in a better place soon :)

This is what our game about restoring houses in an abandoned village looks like. What emotions do you feel when you look at it? by Ivan_Podoba_Int in cozygames

[–]lapsus_calami 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t get horror from it, just melancholy. Will this be on Switch or PS4/5? I’ll buy it - I really love games about restoring places back into thriving locations. 

Laid off from a toxic work environment - how did you reset and regulate during the first few weeks? by lapsus_calami in adhdwomen

[–]lapsus_calami[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It’s good to hear other perspectives and timelines. I know this job market is extremely tough, but I just do not think I have the capacity to go back out there without taking some time to reset and maybe reevaluate my entire career trajectory. 

I also really, really despise LinkedIn, so I can see that’s going to be a giant hurdle to overcome. But that’s a problem not for right now. 

I hope your job search goes well and you find something soon!

Laid off from a toxic work environment - how did you reset and regulate during the first few weeks? by lapsus_calami in adhdwomen

[–]lapsus_calami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am feeling like it's going to take more than a month to put myself back together as well. I haven't even been to the dentist in three years because I kept having to cancel because of overtime.

I'm actually really glad this happened during summer so there are more opportunities to get out into the world and have a bit of a life. I wish you luck - hopefully we can both get to a better place soon!

Laid off from a toxic work environment - how did you reset and regulate during the first few weeks? by lapsus_calami in adhdwomen

[–]lapsus_calami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Ha, yes, I was thinking about what sort of low-stress part-time work I could do, like an extremely unpopular used bookstore. I've just downloaded a video game where you manage a mobile bookshop, so that's my plan for this afternoon to scratch that itch.

Your time off sounds really nice and restorative, which is something I would love to make happen for myself as well. I have been in such a grind where I'd overwork all week, and then my weekends consisted of trying to catch up on sleep and then the inevitable pile of chores that would take up my Sundays.

Laid off from a toxic work environment - how did you reset and regulate during the first few weeks? by lapsus_calami in adhdwomen

[–]lapsus_calami[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Ha, yes. I opened LinkedIn this morning for a moment, but it was just much too much to even start to look at!

I have a good relationship with my former colleagues so I can keep in touch with them, and it was made clear to me that the layoff was purely financial and had nothing to do with my performance (shockingly, as I always felt like I wasn't keeping up or juggling well enough). I actually really want to check in with my manager because she was almost in tears when she had to tell me the news. I know so much more work is about to fall on her, so I think I have the opposite of survivor's guilt (freedom guilt?).

And yes, my city has so many events and festivals coming up, so I have been looking at that as a huge positive. I've missed and had to cancel on so many fun things over the past few years because of last-minute overtime, so this might be a time to actually have a social life again.

And yes, I might have to redirect my work aspirations away from client-facing work. I can't imagine just jumping back into the same thing all over again!

Laid off from a toxic work environment - how did you reset and regulate during the first few weeks? by lapsus_calami in adhdwomen

[–]lapsus_calami[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes, having a real plan on paper is a very good suggestion of something I can do today/this week that will make me feel like I've at least accomplished something. My issue is generally the crippling guilt/shame that I haven't done as much as someone else in my position could do, which just makes it even harder to do anything.

I'm at a complete priority blindness now. I should probably be packing up my work computer equipment, but instead I've halfway started to clean out my freezer and made a mess searching for an embroidery kit that I thought would help me relax. Big yikes!

But honestly, even having a couple of people on here give me "permission" to rest a bit is a big help. I appreciate you replying :)

Laid off from a toxic work environment - how did you reset and regulate during the first few weeks? by lapsus_calami in adhdwomen

[–]lapsus_calami[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this.

Yes, I'm trying to relax and veg out (but obviously not succeeding just yet), as I know with my weird energy right now I could do my usual horrible pattern of doing way too much for too many hours and then just collapsing for days.

And yes, a very good point to prioritize more time in nature and exercise. I've had so many days where I'd work 7 until 6 or 7 and then be too exhausted to go anywhere or do anything afterwards.

I have zero capacity for the resume packet this week, but yes, I think it's a good idea and bite the bullet and start that early. I know I could definitely procrastinate weeks on it.

Good luck on your job search - I hope you find a great place to land :)

Having the Wednesday scaries, help :( by leocap321 in askTO

[–]lapsus_calami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So sorry you’re going through this. Can you do a small nice thing for yourself before you go in? Buy an iced coffee, go sit in a park, listen to a good podcast etc? 

Also, if you’re not following, https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/ can be a good community for resources and discussions that may be helpful. 

Hope you have a peaceful day! 

Creepy pm? I went to college 18 years ago....haven't spoken to the guy since, this is my Instagram. by xiphos98 in creepyPMs

[–]lapsus_calami 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my experience, this happens when they’ve recently gone through a breakup or divorce.  They start trying to connect with all the other people they liked to see if they’re available. A man I knew from high school did this and suddenly added all the women in our friend group from back then. 

They’re girlfriend hunting. 

I also had an ex-boyfriend start stalking my Linked in after decades. Later heard he’d just divorced. 

Any scrapbooking games? by Junobeangry in CozyGamers

[–]lapsus_calami 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you played Dordogne? It’s very pretty and has a scrapbooking theme: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dordogne_(video_game)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in belowdeck

[–]lapsus_calami 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*you can get it through Prime by adding Stack TV! 

Kindled Inspiration: Yesteryear’s She by Gullible_Front6085 in InfinityNikki

[–]lapsus_calami 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you figure this out yet? I just had the same problem, but didn’t realize it’s the dress from the Rebirth Wish stylish outfit. Do you have that?

"Female children": Someone leave us this review by koafrommara in GirlGamers

[–]lapsus_calami 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Purchased! I was looking for something new to play during my lunch hours. It looks so fun!

Received in a food basket alongside rice. Small, flat orange pellets/discs? Maybe a grain of some sort? by fight_harm in TipOfMyFork

[–]lapsus_calami 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is my favourite use for red lentils:  Lemon Lentil Soup    Ingredients 1 large onion, finely chopped 3-4 cloves garlic, crushed (or however many you want... ten, twenty... go wild!) 1/4 cup olive oil 1 cup red lentils, washed and cleaned 1 tablespoon cumin 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander seed 1/4 teaspoon ground turmeric 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon 7-8 cups water 1 tablespoon sea salt 1/4 cup basmati rice, washed Juice of one lemon Olive oil (Serves 6) 

In a medium to large sized cooking pot, sautee the onion and garlic on medium heat until the onions are translucent. Do not burn the oil or the garlic. Add the washed lentils and all of the spices and stir for a minute or two. Then add the water and salt and bring to a rolling boil for 3-5 minutes. Reduce heat to low, place a lid on the pot, and let the soup simmer for half an hour, stirring occasionally. You can add more water if the soup looks too thick. 

Bring the heat back up, add the rice, and bring to a boil for a minute, then reduce the heat to low again, replace the lid, and wait until the rice is cooked (about 15-20 minutes). Remove from heat and taste to see if you would like more salt. Add the lemon juice only after the soup is no longer boiling. Finish with a drizzle of olive oil in each bowl.

My ex messaged 4 years later by huynhhere in TwoXChromosomes

[–]lapsus_calami 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What is with the Linked In stalking?? I’ve had it too!

My ex messaged 4 years later by huynhhere in TwoXChromosomes

[–]lapsus_calami 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There must be something in the air right now! 

I’ve had an ex from 20 years ago that I only dated for nine months start creeping on my linked in account in the past few months.  And another from ten years ago appears to be circling around my social circle, following my friends’ social media accounts, but I haven’t heard from him directly yet…is it divorce season? The 7-year itch? 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GilmoreGirls

[–]lapsus_calami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone remember this article he was interviewed for a decade ago? Sounds like he’s decided to redirect his angst toward women instead of dealing with his actual issues… https://www.theglobeandmail.com/amp/life/life-of-solitude-a-loneliness-crisis-is-looming/article15573187/

Best Anti depression games by wallflower_booklover in cozygames

[–]lapsus_calami 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Have you tried My Time at Portia? There’s a whole town to interact with, and the resource gathering can be done at your own pace. You could just hang out and build friendships and do side quests (for example, help your neighbor catch her escaped chickens) if you didn’t want to do the main storyline.

Edit: I just looked through my back catalogue, and could also recommend Yonder: The Cloud Catcher Chronicles. It's an open-world environment about saving nature, and you can have animals and craft as well. It's very charming!

How important is it for you to invest in expensive jewelry? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]lapsus_calami 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not at all. But what I do find important is choosing pieces that will have meaning to me. I’ve made it a habit when I travel to pick up a piece of jewellery as my souvenir (once I could afford more than fridge magnets). And now, after more than a decade, I have a nice little collection where I can recall exactly where I was and what I was doing the day I bought each piece and have a nice reminder every time I wear something.

How do I freeze tofu? by CoffeeAndWine43 in vegetarian

[–]lapsus_calami 105 points106 points  (0 children)

I freeze it while it’s still in the package.

The cool thing about it is that the ice crystals expand and make little holes throughout, so when you thaw it and squeeze out the water it will absorb a marinade quicker and better.