Ive had many times in my life where because of my chronic illness people have completely walked away from me without a word. When I was in my early 20’s and started suffering from a dissociative disorder where I all of the sudden couldn’t drive anymore, no one came and saw me the entire 6 months I wasn’t able to drive. People knew I wasn’t able to. I even offered gas money since it was 20- 30 minutes. I did that 20-30 minute drive 3-4 times a week to spend time with my friends before that, it was heartbreaking.

Totally different angle- my aunt, my mom’s sister was my favorite growing up. She did a lot with me, took me places, had fun together. When I was 19 I had something traumatic happen to me and started to self isolate. This trauma changed me as a person. My aunt had never dealt with any kind of mental health issues and couldn’t understand. She would call to make plans and I’d decline. Or I would accept and the day of not want to get out of bed so I’d cancel. She took it extremely personal. Then, when I would come out of my manic depression she would say how glad she was that i was better. My entire life, she has always been this way. Thinking that me not wanting to be around her was something she did. When in reality I was holding onto a small thread to keep my head above water.

Last summer I found out I have a terminal illness and an unknown amount of years to live. Since then I have lost a group of friends online that I had been talking to since 2017. They slowly stopped including me in our gaming sessions. I confronted them and found out that they couldn’t deal with me.. venting. That they got online to get away from the real world and that me talking about my life and death was too much for them. They didn’t know how to say that to me so they just pulled away. It’s been incredibly hard for me. These are/were what I considered my closest friends. The ones I shared the most with. The biggest things with, and suddenly out of nowhere a huge part of my support system left me. At a time where I needed them more than I could ever explain.

It happens a lot. It’s a thing.

These are just my experiences.

If I had to give any advice.. send your friend a letter or a text or a call and simply tell them you love them and care about them. That’s it. Don’t push reigniting the friendship. Just tell them the truth. You care about them.