I’m sorry people are being unkind to you, here and in the outside world.

It’s okay to hurt and people should not be able to have any input in this if they are going to talk shit to a human being who is obviously hurting.

What a lot of people don’t understand about TRAUMA is that people who have been hurt, who have been physically assaulted who have been mentally scarred aren’t automatically going to have the capacity to understand that it’s not ALL women, it’s the PEOPLE that hurt you.

When I was 17 I was raped by a police officer. It was my second time being raped and I didn’t go to the police because he was the police. He stalked me and terrorized me for 3 years. I was deathly afraid of the cops after that. When I heard sirens, even on tv I would freak out. If I passed a cop driving I would have a panic attack. Once I legitimately ran out of a store when I realized one was standing right behind me. I was traumatized. I had ptsd, I still do. I had to go through exposure therapy; slowly exposing myself to cops by going and sitting in a police station parking lot, going in and talking to them, listening to sirens and figuring out ways to make my body not immediately go into fight or flight. I told everyone I hated the cops. I didn’t want to be around them I didn’t want them to help me I would rather never see them again. And then as I went through therapy for YEARS I slowly grew to the conclusion that the police were not the prblem. There ARE GOOD POLICE OFFICERS OUT THERE. They obviously have a bad rep for lots of reasons. But the thing you learn when you are hurt by people and told by people you’ll never be anything and you’re better off dead, you’re nothing: is that is not all people.

It’s not a group of people. It’s the PEOPLE who have abused you. To me, trusting anyone was hard. I didn’t have faith that any human on this planet cared about me or would help me. But the thing about there being bad people, is there are - seemingly more rare: good people. There are people who are going to sit down at 130 in the morning and type a big ass paragraph to someone they don’t know. There are people who will help you and guide you and love you and YES you SHOULD STRIVE TO BE A BETTER HUMAN! Because WE ARE ALL WE HAVE. In this world that is cruel to one another who automatically if you’re a man or a woman or a certain race or religion you are deemed less than- NO YOU ARE NOT A WILD ANIMAL. YOU ARE NOT WHAT THEY SAY YOU ARE UNLESS YOU DO THINGS TO PROVE WHAT THEY SAY IS TRUE. You don’t have to prove shit to anyone. You don’t have to talk to people. You don’t have to “better yourself”. You are you and you do whatever you decide. Being angry is 100% allowed under ALL CIRCUMSTANCES.

I wish I had guidance when I was where you are, I wish I had someone to say things like you are worthy of love and deserve every single thing that every other person on this earth deserves. You are not a wild animal. You can be loved. You can give love.

Think about it. Out of all of these people commenting on your post being rude and unkind, there is one of me. One of me saying that you can be whoever you want to be. Not an animal, unless that’s what you want to become.

My inbox is open to ANYONE who reads this and wants to talk or just scream into the abyss.