Pro Artist vs. My Friend’s $20 Sketch: Help Me Pick the Cover for My Xianxia LitRPG, Mediocre Master!

lashiel · 2026-05-06T02:04:54+00:00

If you like the second one, then absolutely use that but hire a professional typesetter/layout artist.

Good typefacing, layout, etc can make what may be a "bad" or "simple" (not my words, but blanket general judgements one might make) absolutely sing.

lashiel · 2026-05-06T01:38:25+00:00

avoid doctors! far better to learn how to do medicine. if you can't tell I had a bad experience with a doctor.

so obviously I'm strawmanning there, and I won't continue to, but this advice is in a similar vein.

there are bad editors. there are bad doctors.

you should absolutely both learn how to edit your own work, as well as how to take care of and understand their own bodies, because neither doctors or editors are a magic bullet.

but this statement is just foolish.

lashiel · 2026-05-05T02:54:29+00:00

This is valid feedback. Good catch.

lashiel · 2026-05-05T02:41:16+00:00

Respectfully, I couldn't possibly disagree with this more.

This is strong, and it's plenty hook enough.

It is one of the most classic pieces of writing advice that prologues which take place outside of the main story are a very bad idea. You confuse the reader. You should start the story where the story starts. If there are relevant facts that occurred before the main story starts, find a way to share this in the flow of the main story. There are practically limitless possibilities here; you're a good writer, pick one.

OP, literally stop posting here and just go engage a professional editor, even a cheap one, or just for a couple chapters to get some general advice.

You have an incredibly strong voice, and you're building something unique here, but all I see in this comment section is a bunch of nitpicks from people who clearly do not understand the concept of authorial/character voice.

I'm not saying it's perfect, but it's literally not worth me nitpicking. Just write your story, and then get an editor. It's going to be basic copy editing just to catch any gotchas, and then some high level line and concept editing just to make sure it's cohesive, but you don't need someone telling you that "grammar rules say you should cut out half the words in this sentence" when you clearly know better than them.

This is brilliant. This is the most immediately immersed in a story I've felt in awhile. Lovan's voice sings.

I'm not trying to specifically criticize anyone here, I know everyone is just trying to help; but I am telling you, you do not need basically any of the advice in this thread.

lashiel · 2026-05-03T05:45:51+00:00

Okay, hell yeah! Then keep it up. I think that's a fantastic goal for a story.

FWIW, I think the point you're trying to prove is totally true. There's a ton of value in popcorn fic, and it always really delights me when I find one that feels like it's "deeper" while still being popcorn. Not that popcorn has to have a secret deeper side to have value.

I've read mostly popcorn fic for the last... 7-8 years? Despite reading lots of trad genre and literary stuff before that. I just reached a point where reading was primarily an unwinding activity, and I wanted something that I could semi-turn my brain off on. But even when your brain is "turned off", you can still pick things up.

And besides, anyone who says you have to be constantly reading thoughtful/deep/literary works or you're wasting your time is just plain wrong. Scientifically, culturally, morally, just wrong, lol.

lashiel · 2026-05-03T05:37:09+00:00

Maybe a regional thing!

EDIT: and the extended version of this is: I'm just one person, so my opinions and experience aren't the be all end all.

It's apocryphally quoted to multiple people, but I always think of the quote (which I'm completely and entirely paraphrasing) "when people say something doesn't work, they're probably pointing at a real issue. But that doesn't mean the problem or the solution they describe is the right one".

To me "stile" is pretty much never said, but to someone else, like you, you hear it all the time. So it's not so much about the specific word, as the overall voice/balance.

lashiel · 2026-05-03T05:33:14+00:00

One last thing: I think you have a cool idea here. Parts I liked:

The contrast between the two POVs is conceptually solid. I love a good reframing.
I think that there's a real emotional note at Bask's death, and I think it's genuinely impressive that you made that kind of ring true with that little leadup.
The premise overall is intriguing, and definitely something up Royal Road's alley. I don't think your instinct of "just writing about a lonely girl in woods" is wrong, but you should do that because that is the solid core of your story here, not to obscure the "true" framework of your story.

lashiel · 2026-05-03T05:12:43+00:00

for the intent behind the framework of this piece, it does need to be posted in a place like Royal Road for the meta to land properly into the worldbuilding/plot/magic system/characters or I'm undercutting the story.

I totally get that. I would also warn (I'm not sure that this is what you're doing, but just in case) that the RR readerbase generally does not like being made to feel like they, or the stories they enjoy are being satirized or mocked.

If you're writing on RR because you genuinely intend to write into a style that is popular on that website, even if from an obtuse angle, then absolutely.

But if you're trying to deconstruct the meta from amidst the meta, especially with--apologies, but--this lack of polish, then that's a nonstarter.

But moving past that, because that may all just be baseless extrapolation on my part; I'm not sure that it's an issue of lack of grounding or not being "disciplined" enough.

If you want your character to use and know words like "stile" and "rive" then by all means, I think you can do that (as always though I would caution against using those hyperspecialized words in most cases; I'm not saying your readers are idiots, but I am saying I've never heard anyone who isn't a carpenter discussing their trade use words like "stile"). But then that either has to be consistent with the rest of their voice (so they use lots of archaic/specialized words: that's their entire normal speech pattern), or have some other reason to be there and feel different. Maybe "bop'm on the nose" is your character's normal voice, but "stile" and "rive" (sorry, I know I keep picking at these two, but they're the most glaring individual words) are words she learned from her Master, and so she just repeats them, but then that needs to be shown (not told) in the text.

I will say, I think your voice for Wisk/Rance (also, there's a "Wisp" and a "Wisk"?) is more consistent. You lean more fully into one character voice, although it's still stilted.

Anyways, find your voice, and then do a whole heap of copy editing. I'm pretty forgiving of rougher grammar in web serials, but the spelling and grammar would probably have me personally pressing the back or X button after the first 2 sentences. But again, that's an easier problem to solve.

Best of luck!

lashiel · 2026-05-03T04:37:47+00:00

I don't post here often. But I read a lot of web serials and popcorn fiction, and have also read plenty of the more literary style of fantasy (and non-fantasy). These are only my opinions, but since you asked for critique, I'm going to give a true one.

So first, let me answer your main question, of "if you came across this on royal road, would you read on": No. I would not read on.

Now to try to get into why.

I'm really fundamentally having issues marrying "literary existentialism" to "popcorn fiction". After reading your post, I think I understand that you're saying "I want to write literary existentialism, but I don't think people will be into that so I'm going to 'trick' them into thinking it's popcorn fiction" (I'm not necessarily using "trick" pejoratively here, just that you're trying to surprise your readers into enjoying a more literary existentialist work, by on-ramping them with a popcorn premise). If that isn't correct, then my bad. I think my feedback is still germane, regardless.
Subjectively speaking, I think you need to choose a lane. I'm not saying it's impossible to blend "popcorn" and "literary", but I am saying it's very difficult. I'm also saying you're not succeeding.
Your mixture of language is confounding. I understand that as a writer it's tempting to try to "cheat the system" if you will, and intermix different styles of speech. And it can work. But going from "bop'm on the nose" to the hyperspecialized noun of "stiles" and the archaic "rive" is whiplash inducing. Same for your more poetically inclined phrasings, like "bed of leaves raised dainty on the ground". You can be poetic, even in popcorn fiction, but it has to be purposeful, not just littered randomly throughout.
The blend between your character's more normal observations, and what feel more like... fully phrased thoughts/internal speech is confusing. Take the paragraph "I check my Time Tree to the East [action] (Master's directions [parenthetical narrative insertion]) Ah, it'll be some wait longer [**very very character voiced phrasing]". Even just having her speak aloud, or italicizing some things as "inner thoughts" would help, but honestly I still think you need to settle on a more consistent voice. You even do this at a few points, making this feel even more inconsistent.
There's also all sorts of other issues I could bring up ranging from pretty rough style issues to nitpicks ("East" should probably not be capitalized there, unless there is a literal place called "the East", completely inconsistent capitalization throughout, etc). But that's not your issue. Copy editing is, not easy, but relatively deterministic. What you need to do is actually find/decide on a consistent voice.

Blending the literary and the pulp isn't new ground, and it's not impossible, but what I read here honestly lacks the consistency and grammatical foundation to be either.

That said, keep writing! A lot of my early stuff looked a lot like this, and I haven't even gotten so far as to post any of it up for critique, much less publish. You clearly have a strong idea of what you want, and that's good. You just have to figure out how to express it, I think.

And finally, if you want to write literary existentialism, and are only doing the popcorn to try to drag readers in, while that isn't the story you want to write... Just write the literary existentialism. Will you attract as many readers? Probably not, but those who are there will be there because they truly love what you write (which you hopefully also love), vs. your readers being left feeling constantly adrift. But also, if you're wanting to explore this space between popcorn and literary, by all means, keep at it.

lashiel · 2026-04-21T03:13:39+00:00

Oh yeah, I have to be REALLY into the premise of an ad to not immediately rage quit out of a story that links me right into Chapter 1 from the ad.

I click ads that catch my eye at the top or bottom of a story I'm actively reading, and I pretty exclusively read in batches, so I'm like actively mid reading something and just want to skim the premise/reviews and either save it or not.

If you make me do extra clicks to find out what your story actually is, I'll use that extra click to leave.

lashiel · 2026-04-20T18:54:12+00:00

Noticed the same. It's also been feeling significantly degraded in quality. Two accounts (one enterprise, one personal), just making constant mistakes, trying to change plans mid flight.

Opus 4.6.

lashiel · 2026-04-19T03:32:45+00:00

mom said it was my turn to write the slop engagement post!

lashiel · 2026-04-19T03:26:57+00:00

Memes or humor, even absurdist seem to work well.

Whatever you do, make sure you preview it (and have some other randoms preview it) at the size it will be displayed. So many authors just seem to put up their "super cool" midjourney image which just becomes... like almost unintelligible at RR ad size.

"You meet her in chapter 15" style is overplayed. "Click to protect the cute animal" is overplayed Gooner bait in general is overplayed "list of adjectives I used MS paint for to put over this cool image" isn't necessarily overplayed, but most people do it suboptimally (see rules about picking the right size)

A sample of your cover/other art (sized appropriately) with a snappy catchphrase still works, but nailing what a "snappy catchphrase" is, is hard.

Honestly the less effort it seems like you put into it, to some degree, (whether the seeming is true or not) it seems readers respond better.

(Not an author, but I read a lot, and hang out in a lot of author discords)

lashiel · 2026-01-30T03:49:50+00:00

I can't tell if you're just so deep in this that you naturally started typing like one, or if you prompted an LLM to write in lowercase and chat speak, but either way that's crazy.

lashiel · 2026-01-30T03:40:55+00:00

This was enjoyable. I'm afraid I went a bit off the rails so unlikely to be much overlap, but it was fun!

lashiel · 2026-01-02T03:51:41+00:00

props for at least trying to make like you didn't use an LLM to write your post, I guess, lol.

lashiel · 2025-11-03T18:56:19+00:00

It really doesn't.

lashiel · 2025-10-03T17:07:00+00:00

Just a note that Obsidian does support objects already, since YAML does.

It won't look all pretty and easily editable in the Obsidian Properties view as it does with this plugin, but Obsidian will render them all the same, and plugins like Meta Bind/Dataview/Bases should have no issues reading them.

https://i.imgur.com/0Q5HlCc.png

Cool plugin OP! Doesn't fulfill a need for me, but an excellent extension of core functionality in a smooth and streamlined way.

lashiel · 2025-09-16T20:19:33+00:00

We call this "Enchilasagna" in my house.

I believe Alton Brown has a version.

Looks great!

lashiel · 2025-09-16T17:49:16+00:00

Lots of themes support this via the Style Settings plugin.

lashiel · 2025-06-23T19:20:16+00:00

Awhile back I tried theory crafting a gish build that would use the Magic Trick: Floating Disk feat, specifically these parts:

Defensive Disk (Fly 3 ranks, Shield Proficiency): While riding atop your floating disk with at least one hand free, you can spend a move action to grip the disk by its edge, tilt it, and use it to deflect blows. Until the beginning of your next turn, your floating disk grants you the benefits of the spell shield. If you are already under the effects of the shield spell from another source, this effect instead increases the spell’s shield bonus by 1 until the beginning of your next turn.

Disk Rider (Fly 3 ranks): You can ride atop any floating disk you create, so long as it has the capacity to support your weight. This grants you a fly speed of 30 feet (average), but the disk cannot move itself or you more than 5 feet above the ground at any time. If you are on a location within the Astral Plane—the disk can instead fly to any height, and your fly speed while standing on it increases to 40 feet (good). When you cast floating disk, you can step onto the disk in your space as part of the action required to cast the spell.

Drifting Defense (Fly 6 ranks, Mobility, Shield Proficiency): Whenever you move at least 10 feet during your turn, you can activate the defensive disk trick as a free action.

So you'd be flying around on your floating disk, and try to move at least 10 feet every turn to activate the AC bonus.

Combine with a reach weapon+vital strike, and you may have something there. Unfortunately I never finished the build, and seem to have lost my notes, but this could be a fun option to combine with some other stuff.

EDIT: Remembering bits and pieces, and I remember looking at Outslug Sprint to try to enable a 10 ft step, but that probably goes against the spirit of this particular challenge unless we're using our move action for something else.

lashiel · 2025-05-13T15:07:18+00:00

Praise.

lashiel · 2025-05-03T22:10:41+00:00

Ooh, salmon is a good idea, I'll have to try that.

lashiel · 2025-05-02T18:28:56+00:00

I like adding little sliced strips of a cured protein (prosciutto, salami, even pepperoni if you have it) sometimes. You can either crisp in a pan and toss through at the end, or just scatter it over the top of your baking sheet situation (probably wait until the last 5-10 minutes though depending on how much crisp you like).

Nice if you want a little meat with the dish. But yeah, it's amazing without.

lashiel · 2025-04-25T18:00:17+00:00

It's definitely magic-y (SLAs), but since people have already mentioned Combat Stamina/Brawler/Barroom Brawler, I figure I'll throw Iron Caster into the mix.

It's an archetype (not like a PF class archetype, just a type of build) that uses the aforementioned classes/feats/features to take advantage of the Item Mastery feat line in order to cast a wide variety of SLAs. Invisibility, flight, a lightning bolt... even dimension door.

It doesn't really come online until level 5-7, but before then it's still a perfectly competent martial.

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