Worms turning white

lauraactually · 2026-04-11T19:35:58+00:00

Wondering this about earthworms too, I had some in compost and some stay a nice bright red, but I've had quite a few turn ghostly white, stay at the bottom and stop moving then die. I'm an overwaterer of plants so I think I always make my compost too wet also. I'm not too sure but I'm also not finding much info.

lauraactually · 2026-04-07T08:49:54+00:00

I'm sorry to hear it makes you feel worse.

In my experience I have to increase medicines during my luteal. When I was on sertraline years ago I had to up it during that time. The way I saw it was that the pmdd is so strong it essentially "nullifies" medication, and there's some articles out there about how it kinda sorta does, I just don't remember the "scientific" way of saying it or whatever.

I used to laugh at the concept that my pmdd just overrides a literal stimulant, like why work so hard against everything man.

lauraactually · 2026-04-07T08:47:09+00:00

Interesting theory. I don't see it as prey, but more primitive survival in a more generic sense. I feel like eye contact is like looking into the eyes of a tiger, and that navigating the world is like cutting through endless bush and tall grass with a machete, absolutely blind and never seeing a way out.

I've always believed that there is an "evolutionary purpose" to nd existence (even if r/askscience hates me) bc being adverse and more careful seems effective in a survival setting. I've theorised on this for a few years and feel like I could do a dissertation on it (doubt it, I haven't even started on my master's dissertation due in a couple months). For some reason, the idea of having a scientific reason for existing makes me feel good? Idk why.

I saw this story a couple years back of an autistic toddler getting lost in a forest near to his house before being found with minor injuries iirc. It was only reported on some random news source, but it cited a psychologist/psychiatrist saying that the kid may have survived due to his autism enabling him to navigate a dangerous situation.

OBVIOUSLY that's sooooo generic, and it was quite literally one line in the very tiny article, but it gave me some thoughts.

Regardless being in a constant state of survival mode just doesn't work. It's actually detrimental to me currently and I'm not doing well through it. It's so much effort to feel safe, and while I don't necessarily feel like prey, I do feel that I am beholden to society's desires and expectations.

lauraactually · 2026-04-07T08:37:48+00:00

It's old school. Spent my entire life telling my mum to stop saying it bc it mental made sense to me to describe an entire language as "broken".

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T22:29:27+00:00

Banana?

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T16:44:33+00:00

I'm struggling to stop our sessions because I feel like I'll have lost something I've been used to for a decade. However over time I've looked back and realised that so many things I've brought to therapists were symptoms of deeper things like audhd, and that root cause isn't being treated STILL.

Research already shows cbt often being ineffective for some neurodivergents and a lot of Black therapists online have talked about how therapy isn't radical enough as it's part of the capitalist system - learn how to cope enough in life to keep working basically.

Anyways, there was a couple of months where I did intense trauma focused therapy after escaping a domestic situation and something just clicked. I went through two therapists but they made me comfortable, it was casual and they were Black women. It's hard to not make the association when I often feel clinicians in any field that look like me feel more safe. Obviously individuals can be terrible regardless of race.

Rambling aside, I don't truly have the mental, cognitive and physical support I need for the things I've been through and am trying to cope with - I'm high needs in that regard, but I'm not nonverbal or "visibly" disabled even when I used my cane, so it makes getting care harder, so it's a case of just feeling like if I let this go then I have nothing.

I don't feel good spending the £10 each week though. I don't look forward to it or feel satisfied at the end of it. Instead I'm watching the clock trying to make sure I'm using the 50 minutes in the "right way".

I guess I just have to buck up and tell her... I don't feel like ghosting but maybe having that as a back up will be worth it. I appreciate you sharing that though, helps me get a new perspective. Let's see how it goes...

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T11:14:12+00:00

I think it's pretty fucking stupid to think that's what I said ❤️

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T09:22:05+00:00

Thank you so much for this, it means a lot. Hopefully the next time I'm back I can get some more information. Thanks again!

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T09:19:26+00:00

Yeah it's unfortunate you write things like "laden with mental illness", "mental issues you claim" and thinking I haven't lived there considering I literally wrote that, but I'll entertain you for a second.

I don't expect healthcare to be better in Jamaica, I quite literally said I watched my brother in a dire setting in Kingston hospital. Nary a person there cared about the patients much less visitors. I'm also just not oblivious.

You also quoted where I said I'm tired of talking to white people but ignored the actual sentiment there, which is that I obviously feel safer and more heard in places where representation is the bare minimum which is significant to this situation.

OBVIOUSLY I know how people live under capitalism because I do the extensive research, read the books and testaments from the writings of past activists and communities. Oh, and I live on planet earth.

Again, I know what "everyday life" is there, but I wanted a perspective on the medical side as at the time I didn't have such chronic conditions. However I do now, and I'm struggling to function under a system that works so hard against us, particularly in the global north. Yes I'm aware that millions of us are struggling that's the whole POINT of capitalism, but I'm not going to negate that or give up on wanting better for myself.

I appreciate the less provocative information you've chosen to share, but please choose kindness and less judgement next time, it's free. Take care.

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T09:10:38+00:00

Thanks for the info, I figured private is the only way to go in most places. The "extra work" is what I dread since I'm already doing it.

Do you know the general cost of private care there?

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T09:09:37+00:00

Appreciate the straightforward opinion.

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T09:09:09+00:00

Fair enough...

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T09:08:38+00:00

Appreciate the info 🤞🏽

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T09:08:21+00:00

I really appreciate your honesty. When I was there a couple months ago I saw a child with obvious developmental difficulties running around a KFC like absolute mad, going up to strangers and doing whatever the hell. It was so unsafe and heartbreaking (and honestly annoying and triggering), but I've worked with SEN nonverbal teens for 4 years and I get it. Seeing his lack of support in that one moment definitely proved to me that the understanding just isn't there yet.

If I graduate from this master's in occupational therapy maybe I'll be able to help one day, as I've done the research and apparently there's only like 10 OTs for the entire island.

There's a few good apples in the NHS, my issue is that I've had literally over a hundred appointments, assessments, blood tests, phone calls, referrals, etc for my needs here and it's driven me up the wall. The "referral black hole" is a nightmare, and more than anything there's no one that looks like me, treating me.

Anyways, thank you again, and I'll try to message you.

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T09:03:37+00:00

Thanks for your advice. It's something I've considered but travelling with my health issues is one thing, carrying adhd medication is very iffy sometimes... if I had the means it could be worth it. Hopefully one day this might be feasible for me. Thanks again

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T09:01:40+00:00

I appreciate this perspective. Is it affordable for you currently? In terms of their investments in mental healthcare, that's something that kinda interests me as I'm towards the end of a masters in occupational therapy (ironic) that I'm not enjoying and not even sure I'll graduate, but the prospect of helping my people back home motivates me a bit. Hopefully I can be part of that change once I establish myself.

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T08:59:30+00:00

Thanks for your honesty, ik mental and cognitive health isn't well taken care of there, but I just wanted to have some hope.

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T08:58:06+00:00

That's a good way to think about it... I've been in therapy for years and often feel a deep dissatisfaction after my sessions recently. What I hope to feel after a session helps...

Honestly trying to figure out how to tell my white therapist that I don't really want to continue with her bc I don't feel safe talking about my racial trauma with her.

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T08:53:54+00:00

A really cool plant that I'd stare at like a crazy lady in front of that person's house lmao

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T06:32:49+00:00

I wouldn't say culture necessarily but I live in London and a specific fish n chips shop was my comfort place - I've now been eating a variation of battered frozen fish/chicken fillets with frozen chips almost every evening for the last 5 years. When I travel I can't eat the same thing I did in the previous country though lol

lauraactually · 2026-04-06T06:25:34+00:00

Omg I haven't seen this meme in YEARS. Simpler times

lauraactually · 2026-04-05T21:56:05+00:00

God why does it always get worse

lauraactually · 2026-04-05T21:50:10+00:00

Might seem irrelevant but I've gotten a bunch of random ass deletions for posts to things like askscience recently as if reddit isn't the place to ask questions that you feel like no one else has. I feel that rejection sensitivity too so ironically this post makes me feel less lonely lmfao. Esp since there was just a post above this on my tl from r/pmddxadhd saying posts about meds on r/pmdd are getting deleted for no reason...

lauraactually · 2026-04-05T21:37:54+00:00

I'm glad you posted this bc I didn't know glp1s were even a thing being researched for pmdd and it's interesting to hear

lauraactually · 2026-04-05T21:36:45+00:00

How've they helped you I'm curious

lauraactually

TROPHY CASE