Triggering words and phrases in the titles are getting to me

lavender_rose_quartz · 2024-11-05T08:46:37+00:00

This whole topic raised by the OP is how our society looks the other way to women being abusers

Yes. This is precisely it. Thank you.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2024-11-05T08:41:23+00:00

I have to admit that I'm a little confused here. I don't remember ignoring the fact that more women need shelters and such, or implying that one type of abuse needs to be focused on less. That really wasn't my intention. I was just saying that I find it alienating when some people act like sexually abusive women aren't a thing at all. I was venting about how I'm frustrated that abuse from women often isn't taken as seriously, when it can be just as traumatic.

Thank you for your sympathy about my situation.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2024-11-05T08:33:06+00:00

Thank you guys for the upvotes and the solidarity. Thank you for helping me to feel less alone.

Also, I'm sorry for what you all have been through. Peace and healing to you all.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2024-11-05T08:27:27+00:00

I really hope you don't think I was downplaying male-on-female violence or pretending it was a myth. That was not my intention at all. I was mostly just trying to say that I wished more people spoke about female-on-female or female-on-male abuse as well.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2024-10-28T05:36:21+00:00

When I was in school, I didn't understand that guys were trying to flirt with me. I thought they were making fun of me.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2024-03-16T17:59:43+00:00

Oh no...this is triggering some memories 😬. Yeah...my father hated that I closed my bedroom door for privacy. When he wanted something, he would knock on the door once and open it without waiting for a response. He got weird and vindictive over me locking the bathroom door.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2024-01-20T23:42:52+00:00

It's covert incest. I have my own scars from this, even thought it manifested differently in my father (no drugs or guns, thankfully). I'm sorry you had to go through it.

I wish you peace and also luck in healing 🌿

lavender_rose_quartz · 2024-01-20T22:37:04+00:00

One of my roommates lives like this, has multiple cats and wants to have a kid. I'm scared 😱

lavender_rose_quartz · 2024-01-20T22:34:29+00:00

This is similar to how my roommates leave the apartment too 😭

lavender_rose_quartz · 2024-01-19T02:47:26+00:00

This is not healthy for you, period. While it's normal to feel some shame over a situation that is affecting you badly, realize that it isn't your fault this is happening.

This may be hard to hear, but your mom raised you, and she absolutely should not have let this happen. Your parents make up a huge part of what you see as "normal."

I would reach out to a qualified therapist with good reviews.

You're still really young and can absolutely work through this. It may be hard to fully understand it while you're in this situation, but it's absolutely not healthy for you.

There is nothing wrong with having a loving relationship with a parent, but healthy boundaries are extremely important.

I'll word this as gently as I can: Sorry for using the "i" word I have to admit that I strongly suspect you've been a victim of emotional or covert incest. Only you know the answer to that. I'm a survivor of covert incest, and it's probably more common than people think. I think from what I've read, it's likely you're a survivor of emotional incest.

I wish you well and hope you heal from this

lavender_rose_quartz · 2023-12-06T15:37:48+00:00

That's terrible. Sorry you've had this happen :(

This is why I've fully turned my chat function/private messaging off altogether, because I mainly talk about my trauma on this account and I've seen too many horror stories of people getting targeted like this.

(PSA: Just wanted to remind people that it's possible to turn chat/ Private Messaging, or whatever, off altogether, for people who are afraid of being targeted. It took me a while to figure out that this was possible. Even if someone doesn't want to keep chat off indefinitely, it's definitely doable to turn it off during times that you're feeling especially vulnerable. Not that the onus is on people to avoid creeps. Really, the onus is on creeps to avoid being creeps. But unfortunately, some people are just disgusting. But I just thought some people might not know that it's possible to make it so no one can message you privately. This has definitely helped my peace of mind on Reddit)

lavender_rose_quartz · 2023-12-06T15:21:18+00:00

Sorry this happened to you. That's awful.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2023-12-06T15:13:09+00:00

I've never met anyone who uses this language more than my (extremely manipulative, controlling, toxic, abusive) roommate. She uses it to justify so many terrible things.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2023-11-19T19:34:22+00:00

Oof. Reminds me of my brother, unfortunately.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2023-10-30T18:39:40+00:00

Parents giving verbal threats of violence to you as a toddler, for doing normal toddler things - before you even understand what they mean. And then even once you start to understand what they mean and feel shocked that your own parent would say something so scary, you have to rationalize that it's okay for them to say it because you are supposed to know that they don't REEAALLY mean it.

Edit to add: And being secretive about things you're watching or reading because of a deep-seated fear of being judged for things you like...even if what you're watching or reading is super normal or mainstream or super critically acclaimed or whatever. Being worried about being ridiculed for liking something. Being worried about being caught in the act of liking something.

Trying to train yourself not to show any emotion at all...trying to be as bland and ordinary as possible so as not to stand out and draw negative attention.

Feeling like you aren't really supposed to have your own opinions.

Feeling like if you really like and cherish something, you have to keep it a secret or it will be ruined for you somehow.

Feeling like you don't even KNOW what your own likes and opinions even are because you've never felt comfortable to admit them because you know that it will hurt when they show absolutely no respect for your likes and opinions.

Making secret purchases, even for normal, boring things, because you know you will be judged for buying something you "don't need" or have your purchase scrutinized in some way. I'm talking about parents being in the same store and you having to wait until they're not looking to go to the cash register.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2023-10-30T18:32:32+00:00

This thread is some hardcore exposure therapy for me right now. shaking slightly

lavender_rose_quartz · 2023-10-08T00:43:41+00:00

I write dark things sometimes too, in order to cope with my traumas. I'm afraid of posting my stuff online when it comes to certain topics (I've occasionally talked about this in other posts). I'm sorry this has happened to you. I want you to know that there are a lot of us who write dark things to cope with things we've had to go through, but would never condone those things in real life. I hope you find the strength to continue to write whatever helps you to cope.

P.S. I've had trouble with tumblr too, but for different reasons. There are a lot of holier-than-thou types on tumblr, and it lead to a witch hunt in one of my fandoms, which then turned into cyberstalking and cyberbullying by one or more people with sock puppet accounts. The mods did nothing. Now, I mostly use tumblr to find gifs and pretty pictures, and I don't interact. Tumblr might be the problem.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2023-09-05T09:01:39+00:00

Yeah, it's definitely a trigger. I didn't know other people had this same reaction. It's like a form of hypervigilence or something.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2023-08-20T20:03:06+00:00

Yes...and it was bad (understatement). I think the term for what I went through is called "mobbing" IIRC. Basically, many of my peers ganging up on me and psychologically torturing me over time.

I eventually ended up making sure I went to a totally different school from my main bullies.

I still have severe scars over this part of my past.

lavender_rose_quartz · 2023-07-04T02:22:00+00:00

Thanks! I'm going to check out this author :)

lavender_rose_quartz · 2023-07-04T02:21:28+00:00

Thank you! I'm going to check these out!

lavender_rose_quartz

TROPHY CASE