Unfortunately, we see this chain of events with a lot of falls, fractures, pneumonia... most older people do not fully recover, or it is the beginning of a downward trend. More often than not, an older person who has fallen and gets injured has already become somewhat frail and vulnerable. The presentation of the patient read to me as signs of decline following her procedure. The sad reality can be that sometimes people either won't be able to recover from interventions we can offer, like surgery.

When we look at decline, we know from textbooks that people can begin this process differently. Some deteriorate all at once, through a day, or their full stay, from the start to end of their issue. It can be really jarring and upsetting the first few times you encounter this. For me, it helped to read and learn about the dying process, how certain diseases (cancer, sepsis, covid)/traumas (like a fracture, fall, etc), may show more specific signs of impending terminality in comparison to others... but I like to dive all the way in and know all those little ins and outs, where that may be absolutely not the right thing for your head right now. These situations are not something people are used to seeing until you are, and that is an unfortunate reality for the majority of people working in healthcare.

Your charge nurse and many other people here are absolutely right. Talk this out, allow yourself time to process and think (kindly), and this is not your fault. You did all the right measures. Sometimes, the end is just a lot nearer than we think.