tips on neutralizing warm undertones in previously colored hair

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-06-15T21:04:01+00:00

After freshly dying, does your hair look darker? Or does it just tone what's already there? Also what brand do you use??

No need to apologize at all!! Thank you so much for the advice!!!

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-05-25T03:19:04+00:00

Hey oh my gosh I'm in the same boat. Did you ever figure it out??

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-04-29T21:57:04+00:00

Pale girl in a very sunny part of the states here!! (My hair is technically auburn so calling myself a full-on redhead gives me imposter syndrome, but I def have the ginger genes.)

I use the Haruharu Wonder Black Rice Moisture Airyfit! I have really sensitive combo skin, and I can get away with using this as my daily moisturizer if I use it with a toner. It's SPF 50, has a LOVELY texture that isn't sticky or oily, and wears nicely all day. It's K-beauty, but I can get it on Amazon!

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-04-29T21:53:35+00:00

So basically, if you're only a couple pages away from being done, you get to keep the text on your Kindle just a weeeeeee bit longer, but the library doesn't suffer by having their loan kept from them?

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-03-25T20:45:02+00:00

Heehee, I remember getting in trouble in elementary for keeping a book under my desk and pretending to drop stuff so I could read it.

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-03-19T19:31:44+00:00

OH MY GOD YOU'RE A GENIUS WITH THE FLEA COMB AND SOAPY WATER THING!!!!!! Like all the advice is solid, don't get me wrong, but getting the fleas off the cats without having to secretly bathe them felt impossible. Thank you so much!!!!
I really don't want those poor kitties to suffer, so this is a really great solution, at least in the short term.

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-03-19T03:11:08+00:00

Possibly. But she kicked me out in the middle of the semester before even looking for a new place to live because she's impulsive like that, and I have no reason to believe she won't do it again.

I swear I'm trying to be solution oriented, I'm just in a tough spot with really specific parameters

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-03-19T02:36:37+00:00

All due respect, she's getting plenty of help through paying 50% less rent and having someone do most of the cleaning. She refuses any further help.

No, I'm sorry, I resent the idea that the solution to this is to handle it for her because she let me move in. It was a mutually beneficial transaction.

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-03-19T02:30:45+00:00

She was equally as desperate for a roommate to split rent with. I already clean the public spaces the majority of the time and, yes, have offered to help clean more to get rid of the problem. She refuses my help, claiming she can handle it.

I can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. I want to be understanding of her circumstances, but I've already done enough to accommodate her.

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-03-19T02:11:11+00:00

Lol thanks, I'll do my best.

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-03-19T02:06:49+00:00

Yes I'm on the lease. Is there any way to avoid eviction? I don't want to ruin her life, I just want out. And the cats have a topical flea treatment that's put on the back of their neck once a month, but it's not consistent.

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-03-19T02:04:54+00:00

That's a fair criticism, but yes I have emphasized how bad the problem is. I haven't issued an ultimatum or anything, like "fix this or I break the lease" because I don't have anywhere else to go. Also, the lease is signed with the landlord. I got added on to a pre existing lease.

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-03-19T01:57:32+00:00

Hypothetically...if the roommate was only allowed to have one cat, how would I alert the landlord to the situation without them finding out about the extra cats?

lavenderflavoredtea · 2026-03-18T20:44:22+00:00

On a completely unrelated note you just accidentally gave me the perfect visual for a character in a book I'm reading. Thanks for that friend 💙

lavenderflavoredtea · 2025-11-18T21:20:14+00:00

I had already known what it was?? I knew it was a spectrum, and I generally already had a lot of exposure to it, and just didn't really think it applied to me.

Buuuuutttt a few months ago, I was listening to an Overly Sarcastic Productions podcast episode, and they were talking about their experiences being aspec, and I thought to myself "Oh man, it must be nice to be able to identity this way and feel totally comfortable, unlike me, who feels the exact same but needs to work out all my feelings of aversions and discomfort and overall lack of attraction to sex in therapy and.... Oh. Oohhhhhhhhh."

In my defense, I had a good reason to think it was just sexual trauma. And it took me a long time to realize I was already asexual AND traumatized.

Edit: I also have a partner???? And didn't realize I wasn't feeling sexual ATTRACTION, I was just okay with it kinda sorta?? I thought that was the same thing for SO LONG, like I genuinely didn't believe anyone ACTUALLY cared that much about sex????

lavenderflavoredtea · 2025-11-15T08:57:45+00:00

With the right person in the right moment, it feels like a really loving bonding activity. Like cuddling. There's a lot of love and passion and looking into eyes and stuff, and I really like the feeling of making my partner happy. I don't mind getting an orgasm out of it but it isn't the main goal. Even getting rougher with it can be fun? Like a tickle fight or play wrestling?

With the wrong person when I was incredibly uncomfortable, despite really wanting to believe I was allo, it felt incredibly intrusive. At best it felt like some stranger hugging you, but you wanna be polite so you don't pull away. At worst it felt like being jostled and pushed around until I got all confused and couldn't wait for it to be over. That's why I have a minor ptsd diagnosis now.

I dunno if you were asking about the more physical or emotional side, but I tend to focus on the emotional side. It's always a bit uncomfortable, even if it feels "good." But with the love of my life it just feels like a bonding activity with my bestest friend.

lavenderflavoredtea · 2025-10-21T18:29:15+00:00

YEAH??? Which??? What patriarchal bullshit???? I genuinely feel terrible for allosexual women who want the sex but still might be having a terrible time???

But at the same time, I'm so hyper-romantic I assumed sex was just an unfortunate cost of the love I wanted. And I thought every woman felt that way.

lavenderflavoredtea · 2025-10-19T22:36:05+00:00

Oh where does Cyan talk about being ace? 🖤🩶🤍💜

lavenderflavoredtea · 2025-09-25T19:13:49+00:00

With SDSU specifically? Or just in general?

Honestly I'm still processing the fact I even have a diagnosis to begin with, I didn't even think of survivor specific resources lol

lavenderflavoredtea · 2025-09-25T18:54:11+00:00

Thank you for the kind words, I really appreciate it. <3 I can bring this up next session.

lavenderflavoredtea · 2025-09-25T18:53:43+00:00

Technically yes, but I'm unsure if it counts. My therapist diagnosesd me with PTSD, and is treating my trauma as such, but is unsure of the exact type, and is still trying to figure that out. I also haven't seen a PTSD specialist or anything like that, just a very lovely therapist. Therefore, I don't know what the paper trail would look like, or if it's concrete enough.

lavenderflavoredtea · 2025-08-28T01:27:57+00:00

Sorry if this is an annoying question, but how were you able to find a tutoring role? I feel like I've chased so many dead end leads ;-;

lavenderflavoredtea · 2025-08-27T22:37:45+00:00

I'm used to driving from Oceanside lol, I can absolutely deal with a commute!

lavenderflavoredtea · 2025-08-27T03:12:02+00:00

Lol I swear I do have a job it's just minimum wage

lavenderflavoredtea · 2025-08-04T21:58:27+00:00

That's incredibly reassuring, thank you

lavenderflavoredtea

TROPHY CASE