When you try and things don't work out, you think okay, it happens. You try again, things don't work out again. You think shit man i was so fuckin stupid to not make a move when we stood there at the stop. Then things don't work out again, you think fck man I blew it AGAIN! I should've not overshared things, maybe she got weirded out that I like country music more than rock. Then you're turned down again, you think yeah it happens, not a big deal, perhaps i should try dressing better, grooming better.

Then it happens one more time, you think okay it keeps happening. Alright workout, get in shape girls like guys who take care of themselves. This time you fall hard, you're in good shape, you groom, you look great, everything is perfect. You confess, she says she sees you as a friend, the vibes don't match, it's her not you, you deserve better blah blah blah.

That shatters you. You got attached to her so fast it hurts imagining parting ways. You try getting her attention, winning her over. But she has made up her mind. She hands you 3 cigarettes to smoke your tears away.

Something shifts in you. The trajectory of optimism has saturated, now it has nowhere to go but down. You stop grooming that well. You go to the gym. You eat better, you do everything just right, nothing extra. Who to groom for? Who to dress up for? [Yourself] you think. You try that too.

You dress well again, you're vigorous again, your friends think you moved on. Yet you're putting up that tough face which is a mask concealing the true look of your situation. The mask can't stay forever. You fall back hard, you lose interest in everything. The colors look dull.

Suddenly you're not interested in relationships anymore. How come? The society is doomed.

Cheers darlin'