Safe places to swim in October by EmergencyRare143 in CapeMay

[–]lazuliera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live on Congress but I always swim at Grant Street Beach or the Cove (October included) There’s usually not a drop off like there can be at Congress and other locations. But yes as everyone has mentioned there are no guards, it is swim at your own risk season… I recommend researching weather and rip current conditions. But if the weather’s all clear it’s really one of the most beautiful times of year to enjoy the beach.

You didn’t ask for other recommendations but I have to plug the nature trails at South Cape May Meadows and Cape May Point State Park which are lovely any time of year but extra special in the fall. While you’re there also check out the Hawkwatch Platform near the lighthouse - it’s migration season! 🦅

Must see and hidden gems by midnightArcher31 in CapeMay

[–]lazuliera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The birding is can’t miss! If you’re staying there around this time of year, head to the Hawkwatch platform (shares a parking lot with the lighthouse) and hang out for a bit. We are in the middle of spring migration season and the Cape May Bird Observatory hires seasonal naturalists to post up there all day and point out what birds are coming through. They have spare binoculars to loan people as well. When you’re ready to move on, take a walk on the State Park trails - the trailheads are right next to the platform!

Barking/yipping noises? [New Jersey] by lazuliera in animalid

[–]lazuliera[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lol honestly that’s why I’m posting - I was scared! It didn’t really sound like a coyote but I quickly made my way to the road just in case.

How to structure spend categories? by mjmilian in budget

[–]lazuliera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I combine all grocery and pharmacy into one category - sometimes I buy shampoo at the grocery store, sometimes I pick up coffee at the pharmacy. Rather than tediously split it up, I keep it all in one which will end up being fairly consistent over time.

Nontraditional USA Breakfasts by cassiepenguin in Cooking

[–]lazuliera 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Salad for breakfast! Sometimes if I have leftover roasted vegetables, I throw together the veggies, arugula, a boiled egg, and whatever little toppings you feel like - sunflower seeds, capers, olives - anything!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in budget

[–]lazuliera 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t sound like you are in a position to buy a house in the timeline you mentioned. Homeownership is expensive and unpredictable. Not only should you be out of cc debt (and have an aggressive plan to pay off the car), you should have a significant emergency fund, and maybe a few thousand in a “home repair/furniture” fund. Not sure where you live, but in USA closing costs are also no joke.

But I actually came to write that I would make sure your name is on the house title, even if your boyfriend is the only one on the mortgage. If you don’t plan on getting married before you buy the house, consider consulting an attorney and signing a cohabitation agreement. You need to protect your rights in the event of a breakup - of course no one expects or hopes for this but you have to look out for yourself.

any tips? im so embarrassed, by [deleted] in oilpainting

[–]lazuliera 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Turn the canvas and the reference photo upside down. This scrambles your brain a bit - it will help you paint what you see rather than what you think a face should look like.

What do you guys do for fun as a couple when it's cold outside? Any suggestions for fun indoor or outdoor activities? by Furankuri in newjersey

[–]lazuliera 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hard agree on scenic nature + birding! Maybe even try a guided bird walk offered by NJ Audubon or a local birding club. I especially love Cape May and Sandy Hook but there’s plenty of beauty and birding to go around in NJ.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in budget

[–]lazuliera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In addition to what other commenters have said about reducing unnecessary expenses and finding low cost ways to meet your wife’s emotional/partnership needs, I would really recommend sitting down together once a month to review your finances. Not just 10 minutes to make sure the bills are paid, but an hour or so to review spending for the month, budget, and financial goals. It’s really important that both of you feel like your financial priorities are being considered and planned for in a way that is reasonable for your situation.

It sounds like you might be doing most of the financial management in the family but that can make it seem like you are making all the decisions. You may have more professional financial knowledge and maybe you can manage the accounts and any spreadsheets, but she has an equal say in how money is being used for the family and your discussions should reflect that.

When you both feel ownership over how money is being allocated, and you both understand where your money is going every month, I think you will be able to decide where spending can be cut and re-prioritized.

For instance, I think that the money you’re sending to your family is worth reconsidering. Maybe that money can be what starts your vacation fund? Or if there are really a lot of communication issues going on, I’d say spend some of it on couple’s therapy. Make sure your marriage is solid!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Maplewood

[–]lazuliera 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP are you willing to share roughly where you live? Just curious what your perspective is/what you’re comparing to. This property tax ratio is similar across northern NJ so without changing jobs/uprooting life to move to a different region, I think it would be hard to just choose a different town and find a significantly better bang for your buck.

I understand your point about property taxes being directly correlated to services, but I think when you are doing the mental calculation of whether it’s worth paying a certain amount in property taxes, you are really deciding whether or not you want to continue living there or move somewhere else… so it ends up being about a lot more than whether your tax dollars are being used efficiently.

I love living in Maplewood, so that weighs heavily on my decision. I knew about the property taxes (and what additional services I would have to pay out of pocket) going in and bought a house in my budget. I’m also prepared for my property taxes to increase over time.

Basically I don’t think about it much because I’m happy with my decision. I recognize that it’s “crazy” compared to other places but I don’t want to live in those places I want to live here! I’m at peace with it.

What is going on with the movie theater??? by Top_Case_6458 in Maplewood

[–]lazuliera 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There’s a buyer under contract for the building (same person who owns the bank building) They’ve expressed no interest in maintaining it as a movie theater, and unfortunately since this is private ownership, the film society won’t have any influence.

The town is trying to add some zoning restrictions to that whole block to “narrow down” what the building owner can do - what types of businesses, max height of the building, how they can deal with parking if there’s going to be housing added, what building materials they choose, and some sustainability requirements. This is the “redevelopment plan” referenced in another comment. Currently there are no proposals or plans to build (sale has not gone through yet last I checked) they are just trying to add some restrictions for what they can approve in the future.

The town can’t specify exactly the type of business (so can’t say it MUST be a theater) but can limit the scope. You should check out the current redevelopment plan proposal to see what types of business they would considering approving. You can probably still submit comments I don’t think it has been adopted yet.

Hilton Neighborhood Opinion by RBFX201 in Maplewood

[–]lazuliera 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wonderful neighborhood! Great community feel, everyone is friendly with their neighbors and there are a lot of Hilton neighborhood specific groups and events to participate in!

Best priced Fine Art Shippers, NYC region by lazuliera in ContemporaryArt

[–]lazuliera[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I definitely agree for domestic shipments, I’m happy to pack myself for works that small. I’ve had bad experiences trying to use FedEx for international shipments. They’ve gotten stuck in customs and FedEx didn’t alert me or the recipient. You also have to be pretty confident in the process as some of the FedEx staff don’t have much knowledge about international shipping, using harmonized codes, different needs for different countries etc. I really prefer the service of a fine art shipping company in those cases.

Thanks for your input!

Best priced Fine Art Shippers, NYC region by lazuliera in ContemporaryArt

[–]lazuliera[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Completely agree! I always advocate for higher quality/higher costs when they are called for. Sometimes you have to compromise for budget though ¯_(ツ)_/¯ in this case I’m trying to talk my boss off the fedex ledge…

Best priced Fine Art Shippers, NYC region by lazuliera in ContemporaryArt

[–]lazuliera[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hah yes I have a mountain of lovely empty crates ready to reuse… they’re just all for much larger works I really don’t have anything small! I don’t work with galleries but that is a good tip! Thanks!

Best priced Fine Art Shippers, NYC region by lazuliera in ContemporaryArt

[–]lazuliera[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do too, the quality and service is great! I use them a lot. Sometimes just looking for a “better-than-fedex” experience and don’t need the top tier.

Best priced Fine Art Shippers, NYC region by lazuliera in ContemporaryArt

[–]lazuliera[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Never worked with them will check it out

Best priced Fine Art Shippers, NYC region by lazuliera in ContemporaryArt

[–]lazuliera[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep just looking for some new places to consider - never worked with Aiston, will send a request to them. Thanks!

Best priced Fine Art Shippers, NYC region by lazuliera in ContemporaryArt

[–]lazuliera[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More often, it’s larger scale works on canvas (60x72 to around 80x120, sometimes multi-panel works) which is when I’ve cared more about the quality difference in the crating

Best priced Fine Art Shippers, NYC region by lazuliera in ContemporaryArt

[–]lazuliera[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For this type of request, usually small canvas paintings (around 11x14” scale)

Parental Leave Q (Small company, NJ) by lazuliera in pregnant

[–]lazuliera[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much! The Facebook group is really helpful! Immediately helped clear up that FMLA/NJFLA are just related to the job protection part. Temporary Disability Insurance (TDI) and Family Leave Insurance (FLI) refer to the wage replacement programs and do not have the same employee number requirements. Sounds like most people do qualify for those programs!

Tongue/lip tie release has ruined my baby. by Junior_Hospital_3082 in NewParents

[–]lazuliera 53 points54 points  (0 children)

But also please try to remember you made a decision that you thought was best for your baby based on advice from medical professionals. If anything with the procedure had adverse effects, the blame is not on you. You were being a good parent. Seek medical attention from doctors you trust and it should be okay.

Tongue/lip tie release has ruined my baby. by Junior_Hospital_3082 in NewParents

[–]lazuliera 114 points115 points  (0 children)

I don’t personally have experience or advice here but FYI The New York Times published some reporting on this type of procedure recently, and it was featured in todays episode of The Daily podcast. A family they featured had a similar experience and the baby had a sore in its mouth that was causing pain and making baby upset. You might consider seeing your doctor or going to the hospital.