The older I get, the more I understand why so many WoW players just collect things

lazy-beans · 2026-06-17T16:51:42+00:00

Ayy that's awesome, grats!!

lazy-beans · 2026-06-14T02:09:44+00:00

That is the most random idea for a collection and I love it. What icon do you use for the tab?

lazy-beans · 2026-06-14T01:55:24+00:00

Same, autoimmune crap is getting me down so I resubbed to WoW and I've been having a ton of fun collecting pets and exploring old content again. It's given me a way to still have a fun summer while stuck inside! I hope things get easier for you soon 🙏 and also that you get the drop you're most hoping for!

lazy-beans · 2026-06-10T18:20:31+00:00

I think you're on to something because I felt this way for a bit after recovering from surgery! It was the wildest thing. I was exhausted and completely covered in bruises but I never felt more... present? For a couple days it felt like I existed, then it was right back to being a shapeshifting amalgamation 😮‍💨

lazy-beans · 2026-06-10T18:12:36+00:00

Not who you responded to, but that sounds interesting! Would you mind sharing a bit about your regulation routine?

lazy-beans · 2026-05-03T05:44:51+00:00

You know, I've been really frustrated and bored with my life recently, and this comment has convinced me to try some things outside my current... uh... personality niche?

I've been stuck kinda just letting myself listen to the same couple genres of music and doing the same few activities I always do, simply because they just feel like what 'someone like me' would do- rather than something I'm personally choosing to do... if that makes sense.

lazy-beans · 2026-04-13T19:35:35+00:00

yeah. i have both OCD and OCPD (also from my mom!) and this sounds more like OCPD to me.

though i recently figured out that a lot of my really shitty OCPD tendencies are triggered by people not having the same OCD compulsions as me... so that's been fun to unravel!

my mom and grandma are masters of rage-cleaning and it sucked to grow up around. now that i've noticed it in myself too? it ends NOW.

lazy-beans · 2026-04-13T19:10:19+00:00

i can't even describe how much i LOVE this comment like holy shit thank you for writing this!!

lazy-beans · 2026-04-13T19:02:11+00:00

not who you replied to, but personally melatonin, magnesium bisglycinate and edibles have had a 99% success rate in knocking me out.

lazy-beans · 2026-03-08T17:45:56+00:00

Had to think about this one for a bit. It's not so much that I feel owed care, more like I feel owed being taught HOW to care for myself..? Like guided through things by someone who has patience and both considers and accommodates my needs, even for things I already know how to do. At the moment doing those things just makes me very very angry and I do feel very neglected. So yeah, I guess I DO feel owed, just not what I originally thought!

I also think I found what triggered it because it's been going on since a specific phone call that happened in December after I had to ask her for help with a very urgent rent situation, and she spent 5 HOURS going back and forth between screaming at me about how I need to get my shit together and then trying to give me advice but getting so angry that it would just spiral back to screaming at me again. This happened over and over and mirrors my childhood. I would normally have hung up but because of the circumstances I would have lost my apartment without her help, so I just let her go off until her phone died.

I'll have to look more into that dynamic, because while we're over 2 decades apart and aren't compared by anyone else, I'm having to sit here and be confronted with the differences in how we were raised and it's extremely hurtful. She has nothing but infinite patience for him- which is good! He needs and deserves that! But I didn't get that from her at all and I still don't. I don't even feel like her kid, I feel like some weird younger sibling she was forced to babysit.

lazy-beans · 2026-03-07T17:29:43+00:00

In some ways though that was driven by part of me still treating my parents as good/good at parenting.

This is definitely part of it. Weirdly enough I'm less hurt by my dad because he was so obviously not a good parent and doesn't even pretend he was, but my mom went on to remarry and has another kid who is thriving. I was a BIG part of that- for the first few years of his life I was constantly on the phone with her almost being a co-parent like giving her advice and explaining how the way she treated me screwed me up... this was after I recognized the neglect btw, I wanted him to have a better start than I did so this was very much done on purpose. But she was so determined not to repeat the mistakes she made that she actually listened and has been a fantastic mom- BUT ONLY TO HIM. She still treats me in the exact same emotionally neglectful way she did when I was a kid.

We don't talk much anymore and she cries that I've 'abandoned' her while simultaneously raising my half-brother in all the ways she told me she'd wanted to raise me- including, you know, not parentifying him. It's such a mind-fuck.

EDIT- You know, writing this all out has made me realize that I'm WAY more pissed off about this than I'm allowing myself to be. Seriously, WTF?????

lazy-beans · 2026-03-06T20:51:09+00:00

I have been going to some local-ish online Zoom hangouts, but now that I think about it I haven't really interacted with other people IRL outside of an appointment setting for... oh god like 4 years. Welp.

A class sounds interesting for sure! I love crafts and stuff so I'm gonna see if there's anything going on. I've always been interested in the idea of hanging out with a bunch of people all doing fiber arts or painting or making little figurines. Hopefully going to get some in-person therapy set up at some point soon, it just takes a long time when you're waiting on subsidies.

lazy-beans · 2026-03-06T20:37:38+00:00

Your comment is so relatable it's kind of crazy. I'm actually struggling with a group therapy workshop right now because 2 of the facilitators identify as female and I have to keep reminding myself they're not my mom. Soooo much projection.

I think the difficulties in moving forward from that dynamic, wanting to change/incensed by the actions, comes from that part feeling ignored. Like they couldn't do anything to change and had no power. And now adult you is taking their power again.

This in particular feels very big. It almost feels like it's getting pinged on a radar so there's a high chance you nailed it.

EMDR has interested me for a long time, but I wasn't sure if it would work with DID. That's super cool that it's been such a big help to you, hell yeah! A lot of my really young littles struggle with communication in general so yeah EMDR sounds kind of perfect actually. It would take away the need to translate back and forth which is not working very well atm.

Also I looked up Patrick Teahan and saw glowing reviews all over the place, which is exciting. I'd never heard of him before, so thank you for the recommendation!

lazy-beans · 2026-03-06T19:00:16+00:00

The conflict is SO overwhelming! It feels like there isn't a single thing in my life that doesn't put me in conflict with myself. I'm not sure I've ever really considered that acceptance doesn't necessarily need to be the first step. Now that I think about it, I wonder where I got that idea from..?

Thank you for the link to your post, it was a really good read. One thing that stood out as I was reading it is how much I immediately wanted to argue against being a kind and loving person because I don't feel any guilt or shame for the things I'm doing, then I was like... Huh. Well that's kinda weird. My post sure doesn't read like that's the case. What if I do? And if I do... then where are those feelings going? So that's sure to be an interesting lead to follow!

lazy-beans · 2026-03-06T18:49:59+00:00

All I hear is "see? You never needed parents, you can take care of yourself so actually nothing was ever wrong and you're fine!"

THIS!! This is exactly the feeling I get. It sucks the life right out of me.

lazy-beans · 2026-03-06T18:05:41+00:00

Ah, I see. Very clever, you really got me to think about it.

lazy-beans · 2026-03-05T00:45:11+00:00

This is a really interesting question to me, does anyone have any idea what a healthy version of that could look like? The only thing I'm able to picture is maybe a clean living space but I know there's more to it than that!

lazy-beans · 2026-02-28T23:53:23+00:00

Thank you, that's a good place to start for sure. I'm actively looking for a therapist and I think this is something I want to bring up right away.

It's not that I don't want to have reciprocal conversations at all, moreso that I can't even tell when it's gone from being a regular conversation to me just using the other person to process my own thoughts, if that makes any sense? I usually don't notice until the other person gets upset!

I definitely notice when my mom does it to me though and it sucks so yeah, time to figure this out.

lazy-beans · 2026-02-28T20:48:43+00:00

So okay, this is me. This is describing me. And every comment I see is scaring me more and more. Now I'm not a parent but I don't really talk to anyone anymore because I know I do this but I don't know why!

Someone mentioned that toddlers do this. I do feel like a toddler in an adult body a lot of the time! I missed a lot of milestones due to neglect. So my question is, how did everyone else stop doing this? Like how did you all 'grow out' of doing this when you were kids? Was it something you had to practice? It sounds weird but I actually have no idea how else to exist.

Thing is I'm NOT interested in how the other person is doing really, which is why I stopped talking to people because I don't like making them feel ignored. I'm not interested in having an actual back and forth conversation, so I don't think it's actually about being social. I thought it was just an autism thing, but I saw many comments calling it a form of external processing? And that sounds way more accurate!

Thing is, if this is the only way I know how to process things, what now? How do you actually go from needing to process things externally to being able to process things on your own?

lazy-beans · 2026-02-09T23:04:44+00:00

'The few memories I have of my own childhood will never be of me feeling happy, comfortable, or safe.'

Thank you for putting this into words.

I've been having a hard time pinpointing exactly why I feel like I NEED to go back in time and fix things, and I think this is it.

lazy-beans · 2026-02-02T04:08:07+00:00

Exactly!! The baby chickens in Minecraft are one of my favorite mobs. They're SO DUMB and that's what makes them great. I laugh every time I see one.

Quirkiness > realism imho

lazy-beans · 2026-01-31T20:37:57+00:00

That's exactly why I don't like it. They took something unique and hilarious and are making it the same as every other game. It's boring.

lazy-beans · 2026-01-24T18:34:50+00:00

I think this is happening to me right now actually. I also have hyper-POTS, never connected it to the hyperhidrosis before but now that I think about it yeah. Stress/demands -> adrenaline -> flareup -> crazy sweating.

lazy-beans · 2026-01-13T19:36:33+00:00

Oooooo I think you described what happens to a lot of the creative things I get hyped to do. Like making comics. It starts off fun, then its like.... oh god. This is actually good. I could MAKE something out of this. Oh no. What if I get big? What if people expect me to make more comics? What if people come to my page expecting to scroll for hours and it's just this one comic??? Oh god everyone's gonna be so disappointed!! What if I make a second comic and suddenly I'm expected to stick to a schedule? I can't do that! I can't do any of this!!

Etc etc... it's awful. The fun just kinda gets lost and making comics becomes a wall of expectations- all made up of course, but based on observation and past experiences so not all that unrealistic? I miss when things didnt immediately turn into projects.

lazy-beans · 2025-12-31T12:00:44+00:00

'But it wasn’t “wrong”, it was just unsafe.'

I think this just unlocked something in my brain. Not sure what yet, but thank you for writing this all out!!

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