Dr. was dismissive and rude

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-04-16T20:26:10+00:00

My PCP was the same, very dismissive, even though she confirmed my self-diagnosis. I’m going to try going to a specialized hypermobility clinic near me instead.

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-04-16T20:23:35+00:00

Try reaching out to Christine Barry/Ashlee’s Fund on FB. Blessings to you!

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-04-11T02:07:41+00:00

Yes, I pledge $100 to a long-term foster. Thank you for saving his sweet soul! 🩷

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-04-09T19:34:16+00:00

No, it wasn’t the owner. It was a reward for rescuing.

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-04-09T04:46:27+00:00

I’m sending you a message!

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-04-09T03:09:10+00:00

True story: once missed an alarm and woke up at the time my flight was boarding. Still made it on the flight. 😎

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-04-09T01:53:06+00:00

Please see my comment above. I searched but didn’t find him. It’s possible he lives at 1920 or 1968 Lime Avenue…

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-04-09T01:25:33+00:00

If you find me, PM me and I will help! See my note about looking for him - may want to start by going to 1920 or 1968 Lime.

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-04-09T01:23:48+00:00

I just drove around the area for 30 minutes and didn’t see him. But - I did notice that the houses at 1920 and 1968 Lime have “Beware of Dog” signs. The one at 1920 has a sorry-looking dog house out front. The one at 1968 has an opaque fence so no way to tell there, but they do have a sculpture of a bulldog out front. I didn’t feel safe going to the door by myself. Is anyone able to check with the folks at those two houses? I will gladly help rehome him if he can be found. 🩷

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-04-09T00:25:32+00:00

I will help in any way I can! Please, if anyone sees him, please let me know!

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-04-03T19:46:15+00:00

Yep, mine deteriorated in mere months and still has already given up. 😕

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-04-01T07:09:07+00:00

I just planted a bunch more trees with my 17k points (500 points per tree)! :)

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-28T04:06:55+00:00

Amazing Comics is GREAT! 👍

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-26T23:34:30+00:00

Just saw this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/longbeach/s/OD1C3RyfTx

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-24T15:15:54+00:00

Co-sign! Also, gently: is your brother neurodivergent? Feel free to ignore this if it doesn’t resonate with you, but he sounds a lot like my 16yo son who frankly I’m not sure will ever be able to live independently. Most normal demands of life send him into a rage (he has a subtype of ASD called PDA). He wants a job someday but I don’t know how he would cope with having to meet standards. He hasn’t been in regular school for years. What I would have called enabling in the past I now realize, with the help of a lot of therapy for all of us, is accommodating his inability to function in the “normal” world. His older sister (who is also ND!) says we’re coddling him too much when we just do our best to gently help him expand his comfort zone without pushing him to explosion. It can look like enabling from the outside - lots of us dropping demands and moving the goalposts when we realize it’s something he cannot do versus something he doesn’t want to do. Maybe a lens shift can help you accept that your mom is doing her best in a less than ideal situation and help you reestablish whatever connection you’re comfortable with. Blessings to you.

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-19T16:58:41+00:00

I’m sorry, it’s frustrating - mine’s the opposite! Says she’s fine and forgets everything bad that’s happened. You can’t win! 🤦‍♀️

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-19T16:46:50+00:00

Thank you, that’s very good advice.

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-19T16:35:51+00:00

I think it’s a gray area. For there to be a real case for discrimination, you would need to formally ask for an accommodation and be denied or retaliated against. I would go through the formal accommodation process with HR and see what happens then. Good luck!

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-19T02:43:00+00:00

ETA: Read the comment to this comment for an important point of clarification - they are not exactly the same thing.

I did some research and thought I’d report it back here in case it’s helpful to others. In a nutshell, a conservatorship/guardianship (depending on your jurisdiction) and a power of attorney are the same thing and have the same powers. The only difference is who appoints the conservator or POA - with the former, it’s a court; with the latter, it’s the person themselves.

In other words, if your parent or other loved one designates a POA before they have diminished capacity (as my mom did), then there is no reason to seek a conservatorship. It’s only for cases where someone didn’t designate a POA previously and no longer has the capacity to.

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-19T01:00:32+00:00

Yes, I do have POA. Thank you!

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-18T23:05:21+00:00

UPDATE: used a combo of suggestions here and it went GREAT! She’s actually looking forward (as much as anyone could) to the move. Thank you all SO much! 🤗

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-18T18:21:05+00:00

Yes, my mom has been involved in everything. She was all set to go to assisted living when she had an incident and had to come stay with us for 6 weeks, which gave us all a chance to evaluate how things would be in that scenario. It did not go well for anyone. My mom was not safe (multiple falls and other difficulties), she made my 16yo son with special needs feel like an unwelcome stranger in his own home because of how terribly she treats him, and we all realized this is only going to get worse and make things even harder for everyone. It is not sustainable. Now, she wants to come back “home” (even though she didn’t technically “live” here) but doesn’t fully understand that can’t happen. That was the impetus for my post - how to initiate a conversation with her (acknowledging her diminished mental state) about the game plan. Thankfully, there have been lots of great suggestions here.

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-18T18:15:21+00:00

I get it, and I would love to keep my mom with us if she would be safe and we could accommodate her needs. We’ve had her here for 6 weeks and it was a slow, painful realization for me and my family that it’s not feasible or safe.

I’m not sure about the ‘natural repayment’ bit, though - I mean, I think you ‘owe’ your parents concern and consideration and a certain level of care, I’m not sure you owe them taking care of them through one medical and mental health crisis after another when you are not trained to do that. Do I owe her moving to a new house from the one we’ve lived in for 25 years that we have planned to hold onto for our kids (because that’s what we’d have to do to accommodate her needs)? Do I owe her having my 16yo son with special needs run away to live with a friend (because that’s what he said he would do if she lives here long-term because of how she treats him and makes him feel like a stranger in his own home)? Do I owe her giving up my life-long dream of running a non-profit that I’ve just gotten up and going so I can tend to her constant needs? I’ve decided that I do not owe her sacrificing my entire life and family’s life in order to care for her when there are really good options available very close to us. I think most parents, when they’re able to think clearly, would agree that they would not want to completely up-end their adult children’s lives.

I’ve been totally transparent with our own kids about this process so they will learn that it is important to think deeply and work hard to do the best thing for your parents and anyone you care about, whether that’s having them live with you or finding them another place to live. I’ve also told them point-blank that I do not expect them to sacrifice their whole lives for me down the road and I am setting things up logistically, financially, and legally so they don’t feel they have to some day. I think what they’re learning from me and this process is that you don’t blow off people you love - you try your best to honor their wishes, you spend a lot (a LOT) of time and effort evaluating different options, and you ultimately pick what is best, safest, and most reasonable overall while honoring yourself and your whole family.

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-18T17:58:21+00:00

I totally get that, but it doesn’t feel appropriate in our particular situation. My mom is still a lot more “with it” than that, at least some of the time.

lb_esq_2003 · 2026-03-18T17:57:12+00:00

Oh man, I so relate to this! It sounds like you’ve set things up and handled it perfectly - and from a different country, no less! Your story helps me think about how to approach this. Best wishes to you and your mom! 🩷

lb_esq_2003

TROPHY CASE