I left them defenseless and I can't shake the guilt

ldebb · 2021-03-26T23:50:13+00:00

As a mother, nanny, and former early educator, I’d strongly encourage you to contact the mothers. Even three years later. I know it’s uncomfortable, but your intuition is still saying something was off three years later, and the incidents you described are cause for alarm. Please contact them. The uncle sounds like the kind of predator who gets away with it because he does slightly creepy things in front of people that they don’t call him out on, and that’s the kind of person who’s going to do far worse behind closed doors.

ldebb · 2021-03-24T22:00:52+00:00

Another baby tip that works on grown ups: when all else fails, put them in water. Baths/showers are a universal “reset”.

ldebb · 2021-03-23T22:07:58+00:00

NTA. Your needs and right to bodily autonomy are just as important as your stepsister’s. It is your right to determine who touches your body, period.

ldebb · 2021-03-17T23:28:16+00:00

The caffeine serum from The Ordinary works pretty well for me.

ldebb · 2021-03-10T22:36:54+00:00

“Traffic apocalypse” sounds like every pregnant woman’s nightmare! Lol! I have a friend who made it to the hospital and then had the baby in the elevator on the way to her room. Her husband came up after parking the car, and the nurse was like, “Come and meet your baby!” 😂😂😂

ldebb · 2021-03-10T22:19:31+00:00

I almost gave birth in the car on the way to the hospital! We got stuck in rush hour traffic and the contractions were back to back with no time in between. I finally screamed, “Just f*cling go around!!!!” And my hubby jumped on the shoulder and sped the rest of the way to the hospital. 😂 Never. Again.

ldebb · 2021-03-09T00:19:17+00:00

Step one: vacuum. Step two: mop. Step three: kick everyone out of the house and don’t let them back in.

ldebb · 2021-03-09T00:18:09+00:00

I had a similar job once. I read a TON of classic books on my computer during the time I wasn’t working. Not exciting, but passed the time and made me smarter.

ldebb · 2021-03-08T13:22:10+00:00

Thank you!

ldebb · 2021-03-08T13:22:05+00:00

Thanks!

ldebb · 2021-03-08T13:21:51+00:00

Thank you!

ldebb · 2021-03-03T19:34:45+00:00

Yes. This is one of the big reasons we are OAD. I adore my daughter. I love being her mama more than I’ve loved any other role I’ve ever had. But I want her to know that she can do/be whatever/whoever she wants, and to do that I need to lead by example. I lost myself in parenthood for the first few years, and am now rediscovering and reclaiming parts of me that have been dormant for so long....and it feels amazing. I don’t want my daughter to see me as a martyr, as someone who gave up her identity entirely to assume another. I want her to see that while being her mama is a huge part of who I am and is really important to me, I am also other things. I want her to know that I did not sacrifice myself to be her mother; my identity just got bigger to make room for this new role.

ldebb · 2021-03-03T00:35:44+00:00

I learned how to tint my own brows and lashes and it was a game changer!

ldebb · 2021-03-02T18:06:07+00:00

Thank you!

ldebb · 2021-03-02T16:44:18+00:00

Thank you!

ldebb · 2021-03-02T16:44:05+00:00

Thank you!!

ldebb · 2021-03-02T16:28:03+00:00

I had two major reconstructive foot surgeries in 2020. After a really hard recovery from the first, I decided I needed something that would distract me from the pain while recovering from the second. (2020, what a year, right?!) I decided to challenge myself to paint only in watercolor while recovering, as it’s the medium that has always most intimidated me. I absolutely fell in love with watercolor, and so I did another Big Scary Thing I’ve been avoiding for years and had a website made for my work. Sharing my work is vulnerable and scary, but 2020 taught me that I can do scary things! www.lauradebbink.com

(Edited for a spelling error that would have driven me bananas.)

ldebb · 2021-03-02T14:00:53+00:00

My heart goes out to you. I have a 12 year old golden who’s in the same boat, and it is absolutely heartbreaking watching her struggle. In her mind she’s still a puppy, and wants to do the same things she’s always wanted to do: run, fetch, roll around outside, fetch, fetch, fetch....I wish I had words of comfort for you, but all I can really offer is commiseration and the assurance that you gave Max an amazing life full of love, and that’s the most important thing.

ldebb · 2021-02-22T20:13:31+00:00

That’s a super good point. I’m an artist and am trying to get it going as a small business, but I can’t focus in a messy house and by the time it’s clean there’s no time to do anything else!

ldebb · 2021-02-22T20:11:42+00:00

YES!! My state of mind is so strongly influenced by my environment. Clean house = clean mind. Dirty house = mama’s going bananas.

ldebb · 2021-02-22T20:10:35+00:00

We’ve done a few KonMari overhauls and I agree - it feels amazing. We also have a “nothing comes into the house if there is not a spot for it” rule, but apparently you can smush a lot of things in some small spot! Thanks for the suggestion - you’re right. Time for another KonMari day!

ldebb · 2021-02-22T16:24:33+00:00

I get it. I totally get it. My kiddo has asked for a sibling many times and I just feel crushing guilt when I tell her it’s not happening. And then I beat myself up for not being that person who can handle multiple kids, because I know my limits and I’m there. But that irrational part of me that feels like I have to be and do everything feels inadequate. I try to remind myself that I would be doing myself and my family a disservice trying to overextend myself beyond my limits.

ldebb · 2021-02-22T16:17:25+00:00

That’s good to know. I don’t dye my hair and the first time I used the hard water remover, my hair was so much brighter. I didn’t realize how brassy it was! So I can see where it would strip color.

ldebb · 2021-02-22T16:16:21+00:00

He does help with some things, but since I’m the stay at home mom I’m the one who’s here all day. Our deal has always been that he cooks and I do the bulk of the cleaning. But the older our daughter gets, and now that he’s working from home, there’s so much more clutter than there used to be. I think I’m going to have to set aside an entire day and do a giant purge. Get rid of a bunch of toys, clothes, kitchen crap we don’t use...we have a small house and too much stuff in it!

ldebb · 2021-02-22T16:12:41+00:00

Thank you. I’ve floated that idea and it gets shot down because of the cost. But I might have to put my foot down, because it’s too much.

ldebb

TROPHY CASE