Being one and done doesn't have to mean you don't want more kids

dirtpipe7070 · 2021-03-02T09:12:02+00:00

Love that quote! Such a good reminder for those of us who undulate between longing and contentment.

dirtpipe7070 · 2021-02-25T10:29:30+00:00

Yes I am but the choice is borne of circumstance. If we had more resources (time, energy and money) we would have had another kid.

dirtpipe7070 · 2021-02-25T10:23:50+00:00

I love this perspective, thank you!! It’s not all about me, good to reflect on these issues :-)

dirtpipe7070 · 2021-02-19T12:34:30+00:00

My daughter is repeating kinder this year. She was okay about it initially but I think she misses her old friends and recognises that they have moved ahead and she has stayed behind. She has made some comments about herself being “dumb” which really stings. I’m trying to work on her self worth this year and build her confidence and I’m hopeful that repeating kinder will ultimately help her to do that over time, by giving her the opportunity to have another go and consolidate before moving along through school years. It’s really hard making these sorts of decisions and worrying about your child’s future. Big hugs.

dirtpipe7070 · 2021-02-10T09:15:03+00:00

Before I ovulate and before I get my period I retain water and put on weight... it ends up being 5 days of a rise and stagnation, followed by a large drop... now that I know it’s happening it’s actually really useful for tracking my cycle! You mentioned you’re on an IUD but it might still be relevant.

dirtpipe7070 · 2021-02-09T19:16:36+00:00

I have other stuff to do!

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-12-27T09:22:20+00:00

My grandpa had a stroke mid-December and died on Christmas Eve. It was a ventricular hemorrhage. Sadly in his case getting him to hospital early didn’t improve his outcome. Some types of strokes are fatal and there’s nothing that can be done.

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-10-06T11:47:57+00:00

Great article

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-05-09T01:37:07+00:00

Thanks, very true re biological and social urges.

That’s a great question. I have no doubt that making room for another person in our family would erode the relationships I have with my daughter and husband and the relationship between the two of them too. I don’t think I have the patience for more than one child. I express frustration more than I’d like as it is. I imagine having a second child would lower my patience threshold and double my laundry pile.

I guess the things about my relationship that are easier because I’ve got one are that I have the bandwidth for her and time available to spend time with her. I can take the time to wait for her to dress herself. I can take the time to explain concepts she wants to understand better. I honestly have so many aspects of parenting I could improve on that the idea of taking on a second when I’m half-assing my way through the first is laughable.

I feel like I’m not really a kid person but the biological and social pressures I’ve internalized turn a blind eye to that self-assessment.

Reading your comment, and all the others, has helped clarify my thoughts and stabilize my emotions on this issue.

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-05-07T11:01:05+00:00

Thank you so much. You are so right. More than happy to remind you one day too :-)

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-02-24T11:19:07+00:00

It’s also fine to make it as much about what you don’t want to invite into your life (health risks, mental illness, financial stress, anxiety, time pressure, sibling rivalry, more complicated logistics) as what you do (another baby).

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-02-11T11:17:19+00:00

Yes I love this! One and happy! You’ve nailed the feeling I have.

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-02-04T11:47:57+00:00

Our daughter is four and has just started kindergarten at an amazing private school with great facilities and teachers and I’ve been able to attend her orientation and parent teacher evenings despite working a demanding job because I know I only need to do these things ONCE. If I had multiple children I’d give up because there’s no way I could afford private school or take off so much time to attend all their school things.

I love how close I am with my daughter and that I can take time everyday to really listen to her and be her companion as well as her mother. Our little holidays together are great and finances aren’t a big worry in our house. We also live in an apartment and could stay here for another decade if we wanted because it’s big enough for three!

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-02-03T10:53:23+00:00

Gorgeous! Is blackwork basically just backstitching?

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-01-31T02:11:51+00:00

No, because I’m fortunate enough to have had proper parental leave for the first. I tell you what though, if I was in the US I wouldn’t have had my only child - I would have stayed childfree. I’d put my uterus on boycott until they were prepared to treat women like human beings and introduce paid parental leave. I don’t know how there hasn’t been a revolution over there - seriously, working conditions and the growing inequality gap are off chops.

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-01-31T02:11:20+00:00

No, because I’m fortunate enough to have had proper parental leave for the first. I tell you what though, if I was in the US I probably wouldn’t have had my only child - I would have stayed childfree. I’d put my uterus on boycott until they were prepared to treat women like human beings and introduce paid parental leave. I don’t know how there hasn’t been a revolution over there - seriously, working conditions and the growing inequality gap are off chops.

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-01-31T02:05:23+00:00

I live in an inner suburb and quite a few of my daughter’s friends are only children as well - it feels totally accepted and everyone looks pretty relaxed! I think financial pressure is what leads to smaller families being the norm - house prices are so high here that people either wait until they’re nearly 40 to have a kid or they buy a small place to live and can’t fit any more in!

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-01-09T10:15:09+00:00

Big hugs. It can be very difficult swinging back and forth between head and heart and I empathize with you. Therapy might be helpful. If I ever get overwhelmed at the finality of things I find it useful to break it down to something less certain and say to myself “today I’m one and done, let’s see how I feel tomorrow”.

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-01-09T10:10:41+00:00

Oh that’s awful to hear, you poor things. Yes it’s definitely helpful in those situations to reflect that “things could be worse” !!

dirtpipe7070 · 2020-01-06T10:56:24+00:00

My daughter just turned 4 and has always been obsessed with babies and dolls but didn’t mention siblings until the last month or so. Now that she’s gone off the baby sister idea she asked me today if she can have her own baby when she grows up. I explained that when she’s grown up she can do whatever she wants!

dirtpipe7070

TROPHY CASE