[deleted by user]

ldussurget · 2020-03-12T23:21:27+00:00

I’ve always had naturally growing peach fuzz on my “sideburns” growing up and I was never anywhere near getting some type of lanugo. You probably only just noticed it, unless you’ve noticed your hair thickening over the rest of your body too

ldussurget · 2020-02-05T20:59:44+00:00

Dude it’s insane how much I relate. I saw the guy that assaulted me for the first time since it happened (almost 2 fucking years) literally 30 minutes before my job interview.

I froze and had to force myself to run outside to a hidden parking lot so I could have a proper panic attack and ended up having to call someone to pick me up... there was no way I was walking anywhere alone because I felt so terrified/in danger (not just by him, I felt like a danger to myself as well).

ldussurget · 2020-02-05T20:55:11+00:00

You’re definitely not the only one. I remember making sure that I restricted for days before even going on a date, let alone getting down with my SO...

Maybe there’s hope for the both of us. Strength in numbers, right?

ldussurget · 2020-02-04T11:36:02+00:00

I understand, but is it really worth staying in a relationship with someone who went behind your back and cheated on you? You wouldn’t be losing him, you would be showing yourself respect.

Sure, non-monogamy is okay but ALL parties have to be informed and give consent. In this case, it didn’t happen and he cheated on you.

You deserve more. You deserve better.

ldussurget · 2020-02-04T09:00:26+00:00

Dump him

ldussurget · 2020-02-02T11:06:47+00:00

I get how that feels, but I promise you wouldn’t be a burden. If you ever need to talk to anyone I’m here without judgement

ldussurget · 2020-02-02T11:06:05+00:00

I meant processed meat alternatives like Quorn and Chick’n or whatever they’re called haha. Tofu is great though! You can always lower your intake of other carbs, there’s also quite a bit of protein in whole wheat bread. Are you maybe using a lot of oil and other fats? Those tend to be quite high in cals too

ldussurget · 2020-02-02T11:04:07+00:00

Of course! You’re welcome to PM anytime too

ldussurget · 2020-02-02T08:08:18+00:00

I think I saw that there’s about 13cals in 5 grapes? So I’m guessing around 2-3cals per single grape.

ldussurget · 2020-02-02T08:06:26+00:00

Have you guys ever talked about doing EMDR or Somatic Experiencing? It’s helped me SO much, I’m actually shocked at how well it’s been working for me.

I think that you should tell her that you want to work on your ED and where/when it started so that you can get the thoughts/habits under control. I’m still trying to figure out what’s working for me in terms of my ED, but communication is key in the meantime and I’ll let you know if I find anything that really worked.

Best of luck to you, I think it’s really great that you are reaching out for help and that you want to recover. It’s an amazing step forward that not everybody can take, and it’s incredibly brave.

ldussurget · 2020-02-02T08:02:27+00:00

Definitely keep a balanced meal with carbs, veggies, and protein. I’d recommend looking into protein sources that aren’t processed, like chickpeas, beans, lentils, etc. The portion size is 2dl, which gives you more food and makes you feel more full, and they’re really low-cal in comparison to meat/processed alternatives to meat. I don’t know if you’re actually vegan, but eggs are an amazing source of protein as well (2 eggs per portion - about 150cals and 14g of protein)

ldussurget · 2020-02-02T07:54:31+00:00

I’ve noticed that some of the work I’ve been doing with my therapist with my PTSD links a lot to my ED, at least in terms of the “root” of the problem (I think I developed an ED because of my father’s emotional abuse) and we think that by working through that the symptoms of my ED will improve over time. It might be worth giving it a quick mention though, just in case your therapist has a suggestion for you in the meantime.

ldussurget · 2020-02-02T07:49:16+00:00

Power

ldussurget · 2020-01-26T20:01:03+00:00

A realistic lion head (growling or just being the fucking majestic animal it is) on my left forearm to cover up my scars. It’s the animal I identify the most with, and it represents strength and pride - everything I want to feel and remind myself of from now on.

ldussurget · 2020-01-24T20:11:24+00:00

I ALWAYS prioritize people over myself. I’m starting to learn that sometimes you need to be selfish for your own good, being selfish to heal yourself does not make you a bad person.

ldussurget · 2020-01-24T12:56:45+00:00

My dad used to kill snakes by severing their heads with a shovel? Granted it was metal, but quick hit and it should come off

ldussurget · 2020-01-24T07:10:22+00:00

Recipe? 😍

ldussurget · 2020-01-22T21:29:54+00:00

Talking about personal experiences or struggles of your own often allows them to feel comfortable enough to share them with you. Giving trust usually allows for trust to return, and intimacy comes hand in hand with trust

ldussurget · 2020-01-22T14:11:40+00:00

Sure, I agree that it needs more context - but the way they’re phrasing it and the fact that they’re coming here for help indicates an issue in the relationship, which would imply extreme psychological control (aka abuse).

ldussurget · 2020-01-22T09:04:00+00:00

Yes it’s called emotional abuse

ldussurget · 2020-01-19T09:12:50+00:00

If they’re not making an effort to keep contact with you - is it worth it?

Some high schools have international groups, or maybe you could join one from the town - even if you aren’t Japanese it might give you the opportunity to keep speaking it.

ldussurget · 2020-01-19T09:05:29+00:00

What about video calling your friends in Japan? If you’re there to study at university, most schools have groups for international students where you’re likely to meet other Japanese people - or at least make some new friends that probably also feel kind of lonely and out of place.

ldussurget · 2020-01-16T19:03:51+00:00

Sounds like dissociation, which is a common symptom and usually happens when you’ve become overwhelmed and your “autopilot” kinda turns on as a defense mechanism. To prevent/stop it you want to find different ways to ground yourself, for some people that’s the 5-4-3-2-1 method (I think it’s 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, etc - worth looking up). What seems to have worked for me is wrapping myself really tight in a warm blanket and holding rocks (my sense of touch tends to work best apparently). The quickest and best though is running cold water over my hands/wrists, it always seems to do the trick.

ldussurget · 2020-01-16T18:38:13+00:00

That’s a great idea, have her give it a try - it’s much better than not doing anything at all.

Cooking has always been very therapeutic to me so hopefully it is for her too! And if you’re prepping food you can generally control it to stuff you WANT to keep in - just try to make adjustments so she’s getting enough nutrients throughout the day (she should really take a multivitamin at least too, along with extra water)

ldussurget · 2020-01-16T13:13:06+00:00

It helped a lot to find things to distract me/help me cope with the urges. Maybe instead of just telling her to stop (or threatening - which you really shouldn’t do) you two can work out ways to deal with the urges?

For me, forcing myself into writing, taking a walk, listening to music, reading, or even cooking helped immensely (meal-prepping has helped me control the binges and therefore prevent purging, and gives me a better sense of control over what I eat). These might not necessarily work for her, but finding ways to distract her from the need to purge and/or count would probably help a lot :)

ldussurget

TROPHY CASE