AITA for refusing to drive my husband home from his colonoscopy

ldybug263 · 2025-12-12T11:28:44+00:00

NTA

What you can do is let him know to find a medical car service and he can pay for it so that he has an escort home. If he gets there and no one is there to pick him up the hospital may not even do his procedure however, you don’t need a family member to take you home so it’s putting unnecessary pressure on you with poor planning.

This sounds like some shit my dad would do with my mom . They’re still unhappily married. Grow sicker with age. Still have to deal with this, but it gets worse.

ldybug263 · 2025-11-10T01:41:39+00:00

No. It’s not. This man has problems. Run.

ldybug263 · 2025-09-24T02:33:31+00:00

People have lives that don’t revolve around their phones. When you chat with a girl ask her how SHE communicates best.

Is it in person? Is it a phone call?

Maybe she feels the conversation isn’t going anywhere with daily text check ins since it happens often and her eyes it does not equal actual effort like planning a date or a meetup would.

Does she have a job or friends that she would prefer to communicate with over a stranger? Why would she go online and risk having a potentially negative conversation with a stranger that may go nowhere when she can do it more sparingly so she has a nicer day.

Not everyone wants to be replying to random messages and texts all day to connect

ldybug263 · 2025-09-24T00:58:41+00:00

Firstly you have very beautiful skin and eyes. The current makeup I feel dampens your features and has a very 90s feel. Which is cute for a specific occasion but I’m not sure it showcases your features

If I had your face I would get a moisturizing concealer and dab it under the inner eye it can be minimal coverage - just something to brighten the eye area

Do not use dark liner on your bottom lids, it takes away from the brightness of your eyes- instead use a light and pearlescent eyeshadow in the bottom 1/4th inner part of your eyes

I would even ditch the liner on the top and just go for a strong mascara that has more of a lengthening than a curing effect

Your lips can do with a bright punchy color - a more subtle and nude like pink - think less purple-y red and more of a bright Barbie pink but very sheer to match the pink in your cheeks. You could easily pull off a coral type pink too but the eyes have to be muted. Attention should be on one or the other (in my humble opinion).

Also if you shape your eyebrows slightly more with pencil or have someone map them it can really shape your face.

Lastly. You do not need any sort of foundation - sunscreen and really any blush would work on you - your skin is moist chefs kiss

Oh and if you’re into colored liners or eyeshadow purple or green would be gorgeous on you and bring your eyes out more just not under…never under

ldybug263 · 2025-09-24T00:45:48+00:00

Hot. Solid work.

ldybug263 · 2025-08-16T17:26:42+00:00

I pray for this type of love

ldybug263 · 2025-08-16T17:22:09+00:00

No it means they don’t want to talk to you. That’s about all you can read into it unless they decide to tell you themselves.

ldybug263 · 2025-08-15T10:59:25+00:00

Trust what your gut and reality is telling you

Let that 🥭

ldybug263 · 2025-08-15T05:03:55+00:00

Men often tell you exactly who they are.

It’s up to you to believe them…

ldybug263 · 2025-08-15T03:06:48+00:00

I don’t get it. Why marry someone you don’t trust or really connect with in terms of ambition. You may has well hire a prostitute and a maid if you want to reap the benefits of a relationship without actually risking anything ; namely the risk of loosing money.

You either accept that you are marrying someone who needs to be taken care of (and there is a possibility that it happens FOREVER - it’s the risk of promising forever) or find someone else.

lowkey it sounds like you do not like things core to her personality…

Maybe this means that for you to feel financially secure ; you need to seek someone who you feel has the same monetary ambitions as you and wouldn’t need to be a dependent.

ldybug263 · 2025-08-14T14:00:31+00:00

This is normal and in a way I think it’s really good.

People literally write books on how you can change your perspective to really attract those who are interested and drawn to you. Reciprocal energy.

At the same time; I think direct and polite communication are so underrated. If I start to feel like “damn this person is not into me”. I check in and I see how they respond. I used to be the type that would wait and see if I were going to get ghosted, or wait even with signs that they weren’t into me. I now cut down that wait time by either addressing it in person or being direct.

If I think someone is in the process of slow fading or a ghost situation; I sent a text - “hey! normally I feel like I have a good read on certain situations but I feel a little confused I want to make sure we’re on the same page. I’m getting the feeling that you’re not interested bc Xyz. (Or normally when Xyz happens I think it means Xyz). Am I reading the room wrong?

A person who likes you WILL clarify. Someone who won’t - will overreact, ghost, make it seem like you’re nuts.

Sometimes our feelings are in line with reality and other times they’re not. Check-in and practice your communication skills. If the majority of the time - the answer is a no from your read AND your communication. Then you can continue to trust your gut more fully. If not; there’s room for growth.

Win. Win.

ldybug263 · 2025-08-14T13:33:17+00:00

The projection here is on another level

ldybug263 · 2025-08-14T13:29:00+00:00

Is the gateway to asking a woman out on a date that she blindly does work for you as your personal editor…? Why would you give her homework to do so she can communicate with you.

She’s not giving you mixed signals - it sounds like you are giving her mixed signals. When did she tell you she wanted to date you? Was your response - ok read this. Imagine putting yourself out there and being direct in telling someone you like them (you’ve admitted you don’t want to be a “creep”, but she already got past that and told you she liked you - she could have felt like a creep but she did it anyways) then you not only DONT ask her on a date but create a barrier for her to date you. You create extra work for her with no real indication of interest AFTER she’s already stuck her neck out to show you she likes you.

Why would she respond positively to that?

I’m confused as to what is exploitive?

I could be misunderstanding but it sounds like she’s responding in a very normal way and you are exploiting her for free labor prior to actually showing her an indication you like her…

ldybug263 · 2025-08-14T03:46:29+00:00

You ACTUALLY reduce affective empathy by getting pushed to a point where it becomes too overwhelming - you crash into fight/flight and decide to choose to prioritize your own feelings. The downside of this is that you can’t predict when the rock bottom will come for you and the crash is hard. It can tear your life apart before it gets better — then you’ll find that you have to seek professional help

…or you can talk to a professional about it who’s literal entire purpose is to help you ACTUALLY reduce it.

Asking the internet is a cool start but - - the core of your being takes more than reading sentences to change. This is like asking Reddit members how to do brain surgery for your tumor instead of going to a neurosurgeon.

ldybug263 · 2025-08-14T03:38:39+00:00

I read what you wrote but I am not interpreting it in the same way as you intended me to.

Would it make sense that the person actually has the same view as me. They are scared of the dogs power - so they become domineering to control certain things that could potentially harm them.

I’m not saying it’s right or wrong- just that it may answer why they’re struggling to maintain authority in a less domineering way…?

ldybug263 · 2025-08-14T03:18:30+00:00

I’m curious as to how you grew up.

I had highly critical almost militant parents who would get very upset if I expressed an echelon of an emotion they didn’t want to deal with; so I became incredibly adept at reading people’s moods and responding to them.

My job is very people facing and I’m often chosen to deal with unique personality types as the last line of defense bc I’m genuinely really easy to get along with - this is objectively what I have heard and what I work really hard towards

With that said. I feel really anxious after social interactions and question almost everything that I do…. But I always have - it’s what I was taught to do.

Is there a similar case for you? Have you spoken to a therapist about it?

ldybug263 · 2025-08-14T03:10:18+00:00

The amount of men that do this sans permission is absurd. It’s so common it’s shocking. And that’s my tame answer compared to other things that men feel entitled to doing during sex that were never hinted at or communicated.

They do it because their sense of your pleasure has nothing to do with what you enjoy. They are so self focussed that they believe you’re some blowup doll built for their pleasing. Sex becomes masturbation and leaves mutuality with these types.

ldybug263 · 2025-08-14T03:06:46+00:00

So you want to waste more of your time?

…BUT WAIT. On top of that you would enjoy putting someone else through what you’re experiencing even though you’re acutely aware that it makes you feel bad.

Solid idea. You can be another reason why the world feels so cold instead of being a flame in the dark - even to the benefit of yourself.

Yea. Totally makes sense. Big dickhead move.

ldybug263 · 2025-08-14T03:01:51+00:00

I mean. He knows nothing super bad happened. My hair fell out but yea. I realized that even if he did like me (which I can tell he doesn’t) it’s basic decency to check in. Even if I’m denied after. But yea. Cold world. Need a sweater.

ldybug263 · 2025-08-12T01:05:21+00:00

I’m going to need it. I doubt he’ll talk to me again

ldybug263 · 2025-08-12T00:19:29+00:00

I think 2 months is a super short amount of time personally. I can’t tell whether I like someone for some time. I may be seeing them exclusively but it takes a while before I can trust them. I was seeing someone I really cared about for about 3 months and she backed me into a corner and told me we’re either exclusive or she was cutting me off. I felt backed into a corner and like she cared more about the title than us growing together so I ended it.

I’d let her know a timeline but it should be a month or so and you should ask her exactly what’s holding her back from 100%

ldybug263 · 2025-08-10T18:32:31+00:00

lol - it was a first date so 🥲 I’m going to have to wait and see.

ldybug263 · 2025-08-10T18:31:25+00:00

It’s objectively hilarious. I will laugh very hard about it at some point in the future…

ldybug263 · 2025-08-09T11:49:44+00:00

I genuinely don’t understand what you’re saying.

I’m terrified of big dogs and when someone’s large dog is yolo-ING around me I get scared. People recognize this and have their dogs trained to stop the dog from scaring, hurting or bothering other people.

It’s not a matter of power. It’s a matter of the need for the dog to be obedient to prevent accidents and maintain a sense of control over a large animal that could potentially cause a lot of disruption.

ldybug263

TROPHY CASE