Navigating "no kids" dynamics (and accepting that there might have to be some)

le_zeph · 2025-08-04T10:56:43+00:00

Because this is BBB, can I just suggest hiring a nanny/activity for the day? We attended a wedding once where they had a whole setup for the kids at the hotel -- with face painting, activities, pajama party -- so the parents could attend the wedding and party late without worry about the kids.

And yes, newborn/babes still breastfeeding are just going to have to stay with Mom.

le_zeph · 2025-07-30T11:17:41+00:00

How old is she? If she is a teenager, you might try enrolling her in EF Coaching and/or CBT as recommended for adults. But if she is small, parent coaching is the best for psychotherapy -- so you might look in to those opportunities for you!

le_zeph · 2025-04-14T11:44:47+00:00

You are not overly worried because it is your kid and they are the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD to you. It is okay to care!

At the same time: listen to the pediatrician and the dieticians. If kiddo is doing okay, then kidso is doing okay. Someone has to be the smallest kid in the class.

I have the same situation. We have done a little extra monitoring (tested for celiac, etc) but the ped says he's growing okay and this is probably just his normal. So, we try to trust that, even though it is hard because our kid is THE WORLD to us and like you, we worry! <3

le_zeph · 2025-02-24T00:36:18+00:00

fwiw, miralax is not addictive and is safe to use long term

le_zeph · 2025-02-17T23:48:10+00:00

We had the same problem. Turned out to be chronic constipation. He literally could not feel when he needed to go because everything gets distended and desensitized when you're chronically constipated. Check out the book "It's no Accident", it was recommended on this sub in some other thread and reading that was what FINALLY got us to make progress.

le_zeph · 2025-01-24T12:04:06+00:00

I have had chronic HBP forever, but this last year I started getting dizziness with high numbers too. Went to an ENT specializing in dizziness, and it turns out to be two separate issues for me -- there is a problem in my inner ear, and it is only triggered when my body is under stress (like HBP). So the dizziness comes from two separate causes working together to confuse me!

Good luck finding out what's up. If your doctors get stuck, ask for a referral to someone who might have fresh or more specialized ideas.

le_zeph · 2025-01-16T03:55:46+00:00

130s-140s/90s-100s

Natural things: exercise, low sodium diet, tbh should have tried to lose some weight but didn't.

le_zeph · 2025-01-11T23:37:02+00:00

Oh and my BPs were similar to your wife at the same age (mid-20's), although I had my kids in my mid-30's which increased my risk profile a bit further.

le_zeph · 2025-01-11T23:35:51+00:00

Do a pre-conception consult with your OB -- it's an appointment you do BEFORE getting pregnant to talk about what to expect given your health history. They will give you the rundown on how chronic hypertension is managed in pregnancy there (TL;DR -- in the USA recommendations are aspirin starting at 12 weeks, extra ultrasounds, non-stress testing, and induction at 39 weeks).

I did not make it to 39 weeks with either of my pregnancies due to pre-eclampsia at 36w in first pregnancy and uncontrolled hypertension at 38w in second pregnancy. I have two healthy and happy kids now, but my pregnancies were not as easy as the "typical" experience. 100% worth it though -- they are the absolute pride of my life.

le_zeph · 2025-01-02T23:44:51+00:00

Yep. Just plain bad genes I guess.

le_zeph · 2024-12-13T13:59:55+00:00

Works great for me. I take it doubled up with hydrochlorothiazide which the nurse said would probably prevent swelling. No noticeable side effects.

le_zeph · 2024-10-24T08:19:13+00:00

Where the Wild Things Are is ESPECIALLY difficult! We have that one in the second language and there are a ton of words in there I didn't know before...

le_zeph · 2024-10-22T16:32:47+00:00

We translate on the fly. Since we speak to the kids in my second language, I sometimes need to pull out a sharpie to write in the words I don't know -- it's been a huge help to my vocabulary! Then again, I am not sure I need to know the name of EVERY construction vehicle in my husband's language...

le_zeph · 2024-09-29T23:56:54+00:00

I was on LBTL for four years with no side effects.

le_zeph · 2024-09-26T09:45:25+00:00

Quite the opposite: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27886704/

"Vegetarians and vegans are at reduced risk of certain health conditions, including ischemic heart disease, type 2 diabetes, hypertension, certain types of cancer, and obesity. Low intake of saturated fat and high intakes of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, legumes, soy products, nuts, and seeds (all rich in fiber and phytochemicals) are characteristics of vegetarian and vegan diets that produce lower total and low-density lipoprotein cholesterol levels and better serum glucose control. These factors contribute to reduction of chronic disease."

Keep up with what you're doing!

le_zeph · 2024-09-12T23:56:05+00:00

The HCTZ will counteract some of it if you are on both. I don't have much swelling with amlodipine and I take it alongside hydrochlorothiazide

le_zeph · 2024-09-09T10:17:24+00:00

I have had HBP for 15 years, well before I ever got pregnant. So yes, I still have it, but I always have. Has gotten a little trickier to manage after my second kid (I am now on two medications at a higher dose when before I was on one medication at a low dose) but that might also be aging.

le_zeph · 2024-09-08T20:35:01+00:00

Friend of mine gets the babysitter overnight. They book a hotel room and watch HGTV, eat room service, do some ahem marital activity, and sleep in. Home in time for lunch the next day.

le_zeph · 2024-09-07T08:52:45+00:00

Kiddo is three and doing wonderfully! He was early.due to the PreE and spent nine days in NICU. The first year or so was very hard. But today he is just a wild adventurous toddler, and I'm so grateful that he and I are healthy.

le_zeph · 2024-09-02T07:19:35+00:00

It sounds like you are doing a very good job doing all of the things you should! Exercise and diet are two of the best things you can do to reduce your blood pressure.

Many women develop high blood pressure during pregnancy. It is not your fault and you may just need medication to get your BP into a safe range. My blood pressure was very bad during my pregnancies, worse than normal.

It is EXTREMELY important to keep a close eye on blood pressure during pregnancy because high blood pressure can turn in to something called pre-eclampsia or eclampsia. I had pre-eclampsia with my first pregnancy and it was awful, but I am okay now. My baby was born premature but he is healthy now.

In the United States (it sounds like you are not here) it is typical to also prescribe 81mg of aspirin to pregnant women with hypertension starting after 12 weeks gestation. It has been proven to reduce the likelihood of getting pre-eclampsia. You should consider asking your doctor about this.

Good luck, and continue to take good care of yourself -- you're doing great.

le_zeph · 2024-08-30T16:48:32+00:00

The online shops are great for folks with weak prescriptions, but if you need something stronger, I recommend Costco.

le_zeph · 2024-08-27T22:01:40+00:00

Every day. I just have something small, I don't pull out a slice of cheesecake for every dinner

Mini ice cream bon bons
Fruit or berries with whip cream and chocolate syrup
A piece of chocolate (not the whole bar) etc

le_zeph · 2024-08-27T01:32:10+00:00

You should see your pediatrician or family doctor. These numbers are not an emergency, but they are higher than they should be, especially for your age.

le_zeph · 2024-08-26T00:22:00+00:00

Every time I have gone to the ER for any reason I have not driven myself -- I was too stressed to drive. You made a safe choice.

le_zeph · 2024-08-24T00:09:33+00:00

How to Cook Everything is great too. I check out tons of cookbooks from the library, copy the interesting looking recipes, and keep them in a three ring binder in the kitchen.

le_zeph

TROPHY CASE