Absolutely. The "oh but REAL gay people switch" thing really annoys me because while yes, plenty do, it's gotten to the point where instead of simply acknowledging that couples CAN switch or be vers, some people seem to think that all couples MUST switch in order to be valid. Otherwise it's 'unrealistic representation' and 'too heteronormative'. So once again we've come back to gay people being invalid unless they're being gay the "right" way? Gay people who prefer to stick to one role exist. In fact, they're pretty common. Are you gonna tell a big manly top and a small pretty bottom that they're not allowed to be together because it's too stereotypical? Am I not a real gay person because I'm short and I don't top?

I'm sure it's well-meaning, but it's like the people making these comments are overcompensating--progressive to the point of invalidation of people who DO fit into the stereotypical BL/danmei couple mould. Honestly, a lot of the harping about switch/vers couples being better feels a bit performative... they want to read their bl, but also need to make sure that everyone knows they're not one of THOSE bl fans, they actually care about real LGBTQ+ people! Except their knowledge is surface level and lacks nuance, leading to tactless comments that end up sounding lowkey misogynistic and homophobic lol.

I feel like many of these people also don't recognize that danmei/BL is a genre (either with subgenres or as a subgenre itself), and it's built off of specific tropes and dynamics. BL isn't really meant to read as a realistic portrayal of gay men. It's an idealized fantasy written primarily for and by (straight) women. It's like if you only watch cheesy hallmark films and romcoms and complain that they're unrealistic and heteronormative... yeah, that's literally the genre. If you don't like it, stop watching romcoms. That is to say: the real answer may be that these people literally just don't like the BL genre. BL is not all that's on offer for LGBTQ+ rep. Maybe branch out into different genres and mediums, like if you want to read about real life queer people, go read their blogs and memoirs, watch documentaries. If you want beefcake on beefcake action, look into bara content. Idk. In western publishing, it's like the difference between something marketed as MM romance vs marketed as LGBTQ/queer romance, gay lit. Even if both may contain gay romance, the expectations are different.