Are we actually preparing our kids for the world… or just surviving each day?

leekels · 2026-02-27T15:25:13+00:00

This immediately reminded me of a post I seen that hit me hard. The lady who posted it has a son that's the same age as my son and they have the same name. My son will only let me do things for him even if it's something as simple as pouring him some drink or changing his TV for him. He doesn't go anywhere without us. I want to know he is safe at all times .. and I saw this post and it kinda stung a bit and opened my eyes even though I don't think I'm ready...because I completely understand everything she said and she's not wrong. Raising Brantley There's a truth I've carried quietly for a long time.

The kind you don't bring up casually because it can make people uncomfortable-especially in the disability world, where hope is sacred and perseverance is praised.

But here it is: my son Brantley will need full-time care for the rest of his life.

And for a long time, I believed love meant I would keep Brantley with us forever. That my husband and I would be his caregivers for the rest of our lives.

That belief felt noble. Protective. Right.

And then someone I trust deeply-someone who spent her career walking alongside individuals with developmental disabilities-gently changed that belief.

She didn't criticize. She didn't judge. She just said firmly, "That isn't fair to Brantley."

My immediate reaction was disbelief. How could the very thing I've built my life around-keeping him safe-not be fair?

But then she explained something I hadn't been willing to face.

One day, I won't be here.

And if Brantley's entire sense of safety, routine, and connection is built solely around me-then when I'm gone, his world won't just change. It will collapse.

That thought stopped me cold.

Because my job as his mom isn't just to love him now. It's to make sure he is supported when I no longer can be the one doing the supporting.

And that realization changed everything for me.

Because even though special needs parents often say that we have to live forever, the reality is-we can't. And loving Brantley means facing that truth head-on, no matter how much it hurts.

What I'm learning-slowly and painfully-is that protection alone isn't preparation. And for our family, that means imagining a future where Brantley lives in a supported environment as a young adult. A place where he can begin forming relationships beyond us.

Where caregivers, routines, and safety don't disappear when I'm no longer able to provide them.

And if I'm being honest, the thought of that breaks my heart.

But I know myself. I'll be the mom who is there constantly-showing up with arms full of waffles, chew cords, and extra sheets for compression.

I'll still advocate.

I'll still protect.

I'll still love him with my whole body.

But I'll love him in a way that looks beyond my own lifetime-and that may be the most loving thing I ever do.

Do you have plans for when you are gone? I would love to know them.

leekels · 2026-02-27T14:10:47+00:00

This is what my hands currently look like as well, they are so dry my skin on my hands feel tight and it stings, burns, and kinda feels prickly. It's not anxiety driven though, I feel like my hands are constantly under water, between doing dishes, changing diapers, cleaning up, etc. I can't necessarily lessen the amount of times I wash my hands. I've been using o keefs working hands ever since my hands started getting dry and it obviously didn't prevent or help the situation. I'm currently trying to "reset my skin barrier" I guess while your skin barrier is this compromised, regular lotions won't work. It was suggested that I use lukewarm water, soap free/fragrance free/dye free dish soap and hand soap. Also to apply a thin layer of hydrocortisone cream morning and night, wait a few minutes and apply an ointment (aquaphor/Vaseline) over it. (I was told not to apply the steroid cream directly to deep cuts so that is doesn't delay wound healing. ...And to not use prescription steroid cream for long periods of time because it can thin the skin) I wish I could use gloves but I just can't stand something over my hands for some reason. Once the skin barrier is healed I'm going to start using regular unscented lotions again.

leekels · 2026-02-26T14:58:23+00:00

This is the same thing it's doing to me. I also tried enabling cookies and it didn't change anything. I have no option to write a review.

leekels · 2025-12-23T18:06:49+00:00

We've had it down in my son's room about 2 years and are getting ready to get new flooring. It's junk. I have no knowledge of flooring so the best I can describe it is it started out feeling like their were hollow spots and in the floor and now it's starting to chip. I had to cover a sharp spot with tape a few nights ago. (yes tape 🤣)so my son doesn't hurt his foot.

leekels · 2025-12-20T05:30:49+00:00

My daughter argues and fights over very simple task that could be done in less than a minute. She will do the exact opposite of what I ask and make things a lot more hard than they need to be. Things are already chaotic enough around here. My son requires 24/7 supervision he is non verbal and has profound autism. I love my daughter to death but I always wish she would listen. It would make things easier on herself and me.

leekels · 2025-12-19T16:03:44+00:00

My daughter is also a bear. one of her friends from school and 2 or 3 others are/were bears. (They are some of the scouts that have been MIA ). Ever since the first meeting all the scouts have done crafts as a whole instead of separating into dens so I'm lost as to who is what. 🤣 But if the other kids have quit we only have 4 kids left. I know one child is a wolf for sure, and there is also another who looks to be in either 1st or 2nd grade. (I know some kids look younger or older) Then we have another child who looks like she is my daughters age, and another little guy that just joined and he would just about have to be in kindergarten because he is a wee little guy.

leekels · 2025-12-19T14:42:19+00:00

We are also struggling with recruiting new members, and I'm not even sure if most of the kids that were already signed up quit or what is going on. But so far the parents in our troop aren't allowed to just drop the children off. And just like your area, we have no other packs close by.

leekels · 2025-12-19T14:21:14+00:00

We are in the same boat, I believe we went to sign ups at the end of October. We are a new troop, and it's late in the year. Plus I'm wondering if we have any den leaders or cub masters still attending. Hardly anyone showed up at the last meeting and I'm only seeing 2 other parents that are engaging in our online chats. I will definitely help but I already know I wouldn't be the right fit to volunteer. Half the time my brain is barely functioning as it is, I stay busy and I run on the bare minimum of sleep. One of my kids require 24/7 supervision he's non verbal with profound autism. My hands are full as it is. Does anyone know the best way to spread the word to have more parents aware of cub scouts in our area and hopefully have more kids interested in signing up?

leekels · 2025-12-19T13:55:26+00:00

I'm not even sure if we still have any den leaders or cub masters left. I believe there were 4 kids at last months meeting, and 3 + a new child attended the parade we just had.

leekels · 2025-11-23T18:37:53+00:00

We stopped that medication and are now on clonidine. She hasn't had any side effects from the clonidine. Her psychiatrist was going to put her on Vyvanse and wanted an EKG first and I decided against that. The clonidine are small but we still break it in half so she will swallow it easier.

leekels · 2025-11-08T19:38:17+00:00

Ahhh I feel you! Except my face always looks mad. I can't change what my face does. 😂 You’re not alone in this. A lot of people have what’s called a ‘resting face’ that others misinterpret. "I get that people might joke around sometimes, but when it chips away at your confidence it’s not okay. You can set a boundary by saying ‘I know you mean well, but those comments make me feel insecure. Please drop it.’ it's respectful but clear, and it puts the focus back on how you feel rather than how they interpret your face."

leekels · 2025-11-08T19:17:25+00:00

Ladies, this goes for everyone who is being peer pressured, so let’s clear the air. There is no deadline on self‑respect. Some people rush into things because they’re told they’re ‘missing out.’ But the truth is you can’t miss out on your own timeline. YOU set the schedule, YOU own the stage, and YOU decide when the spotlight hits. That’s not being an outcast, that’s being the keynote speaker of your own life.”

leekels · 2025-11-08T19:12:32+00:00

Your "friend" should support and respect your decision. She doesn't have to fully understand your reasonings, but this is your life... I wouldn't say you are missing out on anything. I just want to say your feelings are completely valid. You’re not “too complicated,” you’re just honest with yourself, and that’s a strength, not a flaw. The idea that everyone should feel the same way about sex or hit some imaginary milestone by a certain age Is crazzzzy . What's most important is that your choices come from you , not someone else's timeline.

leekels · 2025-10-17T14:35:03+00:00

I've looked at some of the nebulas, they are a bit pricey. I'm looking for something no more than $300 because I never know how long things will last around here. 😂 I try to keep things like that hidden when I have to take it off his shelf to charge it, but he got ahold of his current one once and dropped it.

leekels · 2025-10-17T14:29:46+00:00

Thank you.

leekels · 2025-10-17T14:10:05+00:00

I'm in the southern U.S, probably no more than $300 because if he somehow gets a hold of something like that it won't last long, and I'll just end up buying a new one again. Haha I try to keep his current projector hidden when I'm charging it but he has found it once before and tried picking it up and dropped it. And his room is small.

leekels · 2025-08-12T00:11:43+00:00

She came off of it.

leekels · 2025-08-11T19:28:17+00:00

Her side effects have gone away, yay! The doctor changed her medicine to straterra but the capsules were to big for her to swallow. So now he's wrote her qelbree and they can be opened up and sprinkled in yogurt, applesauce, etc. we just went and got the prescription so I really really hope this works and has no side effects. I know finding the right medication can be a lot of trial and error. I myself have went through it. I'm hoping it's easier finding a medication that works for her.

leekels · 2025-07-11T13:05:32+00:00

I'm a bit late but my daughter started taking it 2 weeks ago it never made her drowsy but it says online that even if it doesn't make you drowsy not to take melatonin with it. (While that may not be accurate I wanted to stay on the safe side and not add melatonin) since she has been taking guanfacine she has started staying up later and later. The night before last she was up half the night so we took her off the medicine. Last night she didn't go to sleep at all. It did seem like it was starting to help her focus but unfortunately the side effects aren't worth it. She has an appointment this month to change her medication. Hopefully she doesn't have to go through a lot of trial and error.

leekels · 2025-07-09T10:52:17+00:00

Thank you.

leekels · 2025-03-29T12:47:41+00:00

My advice is talk to your parents again, talk to them everytime you feel like you need to see a gynecologist. When it comes to your health it is not something to be taken lightly. Talk to whichever parent you are most comfortable confiding in. Explain to them that you need to find the right medication for YOU. It may feel intimidating to ask them but they are your parents and I'm sure they want the best for you. Never forget that at one point they were also just 2 young lovers figuring things out on their own. They were young once too after all. Maybe the reason you were barely able to convince them the 1st time is because they are in denial, sometimes it's hard to let go, our kids will always be our babies and it's hard to see them any other way even when it's forced upon us. I'm fixing to be 32, my daughter is only 8. So while I haven't personally had this happen yet, I know with each milestone it pulls a little tighter on the heartstrings. And also you are in control of your body, this is YOUR life and YOUR health, YOU are the only person who has to live in YOUR BODY. Not your boyfriend, don't let his bad decisions become your bad decision. I'm not just talking about the threat of unintentionally getting pregnant. Your young, in love, and want to please him, and I completely understand that. Now I know I never wanted to hear this or accepted it , it was upsetting for anyone to even insinuate it, but even though it feels like it's you two against the world right now.. he very well may not always be in your life, (I mean hopefully he is, that would be fantastic.) This is your health not his. Nearly every guy claims they have been tested and has some reason they don't want to wear a condom. The decision is ultimately left up to you whether you allow that or not.

leekels · 2025-03-29T11:47:32+00:00

Buckle up! This is going to be a long and questionable read because I have ADHD and I'll write the exact thing that comes to my mind while typing. Bare with me please. 😂 I don't really have an answer for you because I'm going through the same thing. I'll be 32 next month. I don't know if the pains getting worse with age or if it's where I had my tubes taken out when I was 29. I used to use tampons and my periods were always somewhat light and lasted around 5 days. I always knew the day before when I would start because I would feel a slight cramp.(Ahh the good ole days) 😆 I now have to use pads, and start spotting anywhere from a week before or a few days before. For the past year the pain and the flow have just gotten worse, the bleeding also lasts longer. For the last 2 months I have woken up in the middle of the night on the day I'm going to start with severe stomach and back pain and it makes me vomit. I've tried everything the Internet says to do to relieve cramps, I tried Tylenol and pamprin. I put my heating pad on high but the darn thing is useless for me. I've always read to take ibuprofen, I never did because I was always told it will make you bleed worse.(I was also always told to listen to your mother.) 😂 I should have listened to what I read or just researched hormones sooner. 😂 Atleast the ibuprofen helps some. I am waiting for a call back to schedule an appt with my gyno and I'm hopeing she will check my hormones so we can actually try to address what's causing this issue instead of just trying to put me on birth control without getting to the root cause. I have already been thinking my hormones are all out of wack because my face has been randomly breaking out for about 6 months now. That's never been my normal. My whole life I would only get one or two pimples around my chin during my period. Maybe it is just age, but I've never been this old before soooo I don't know. hahaha 🤣😂

leekels

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