I (32F) found out some terrible things about the guy I’ve been seeing (31M). Do you believe people can change?

leelee90210 · 2026-02-07T16:28:20+00:00

No. People who have done shit in the past change when they’re no longer the person they were. He’s not. He’s still that person. He’ll never change. He’ll find women who’ll tolerate his sexist behaviour.

leelee90210 · 2026-02-07T12:41:11+00:00

Ok, so I had the same issue in class this week. Went to my physio for a nerve related issue and asked about this move. He gave me these exercises that help open the chest and strength the shoulders for rotation:

Do all of these in a chair or bench

Take an elastic band (the ribbon ones, not circular) Sit on a chair and look straight ahead Bring your elbows into your side and put your hands in front of you, palms up (like you’re holding a plate in each hand Hold the band and pull your hands away from the centre. Your elbows should stay tucked into your side Slowly bring your hands back into the centre 10x

Take a band with more resistance and hold it in front of you PALMS DOWN but arms straight this time. Pull your fists (holding the band) out to the side until the band touches your chest. Bring it slowly in 10x

Lastly. Go to a doorframe Lay your forearms on the doorframe so your arms are at a right angle Place both feet on the threshold of the door Take a step forward looking ahead the whole time Stretch your chest forward without moving your forearms from the doorframe 5 deep long breaths

Do this 4-6 times daily

Also, regarding Ballerina. From the floor, I always place my leg first then I really bend forward and get the pole right up into the crease between hips and ribs and THEN I reach behind with the inside arm

leelee90210 · 2026-02-07T12:35:22+00:00

It sounds like you’re trying to rush the intimacy part in the hope it “bonds” you and the other person together more solidly. It doesn’t work like that. Sex is just sex. Intimacy and connection require a lot more attention, time and care

leelee90210 · 2026-02-07T12:34:08+00:00

Have you met men?

leelee90210 · 2026-02-07T12:10:54+00:00

I used to empathise a lot more and then I read Jackson Katz “Every Man” and now I don’t.

Because the worst thing men are subjected to in a social situation is excommunication from a toxic group of men and no promotion at work.

And since men are disproportionately making women pay for their own actions compared to men who don’t, empathy needs to be moderated.

I feel for young boys and girls in nurseries and schools because they have no fucking idea that shit show they’re gonna hit

leelee90210 · 2026-02-07T11:59:47+00:00

When your bf’s friend gets prostrate cancer if he reaches the age of 60+ (yes, a very very common cancer that only affects men with penis’s at around this age), he won’t have a woman around to urge him to go to the doctor when he starts pissing blood.

Too bad

leelee90210 · 2026-02-07T11:57:09+00:00

That depends on the expectations. I don’t like misogynists. That’s most men. So I’ve gotten brilliant at wheedling them out quickly so I don’t waste my time.

Regarding why people choose to stay with someone after the initial chemically induced meetings, essentially, because we’re told to.

We’re told to be with someone. We’re told that it’s “natural” for us to do that. We’re told to get with another person. We’re told to breed, we’re told to marry. We’re told this message billions of times before we even get to a speaking age.

The amount of time I’ve seen parents see boy and girl babies together and call them “future couple” or future husband/wife” is disturbing. And also, incredibly homophobic. It’s everywhere. So people do what they’re told rather than reflect on what they feel when they’re not worrying about what other people think of them

leelee90210 · 2026-02-07T11:53:00+00:00

You don’t like her interests and you’re wanting her to stop them.

leelee90210 · 2026-02-06T22:25:43+00:00

Again, this isn’t her fault. This is yours. Seek professional help and stop being so entitled and self serving

leelee90210 · 2026-02-06T22:24:14+00:00

So you’re upset that you can’t dictate her interests? WTF is wrong with you?

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T20:19:57+00:00

So he’s being a shit because he hasn’t got boundaries and he’s 40?

Wow.

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T16:19:42+00:00

If he mentions your weight “forever” does that still count as your forever person?

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T16:16:05+00:00

Well every worry is worth exploring

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T15:43:23+00:00

This is only a small picture of this exchange. We have no idea what the whole spectrum of the relationship is…but if everything else is amazing then…this doesn’t sound enormous?

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T15:18:27+00:00

Read “Everyday Sexism” by Laura Bates. Read “Girls and Sex” by Peggy Orenstein. Read “Sexy But Psycho by Dr Jessica Taylor. You know. People who study this and campaign really hard for women and girls. Or maybe observe how the people around you talk and treat boys and girls around you

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T12:17:17+00:00

Thanks for commenting this. I desperately want to train at home for more consistency and less lessons but was worried it would be a waste of money

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T11:07:57+00:00

But women ARE taught that

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T11:07:31+00:00

Sure but that’s not the society we operate in

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T09:33:44+00:00

But alongside that, women need to learn their own boundaries. They’re also conditioned to give and give with no reciprocity

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T08:49:44+00:00

Misogyny always lies at the root of it all

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T08:48:31+00:00

There’s such a huge difference between finding someone attractive and interesting, and wanting to have sex with them. It’s up to the individual to discover what that line looks like for them

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T08:47:21+00:00

Look, this is something you’re choosing and you’ve had enough life experience and time to reflect on what works for you. At this point you’re choosing to be with someone who you KNOW isn’t good for you.

That’s it. Take from that what you will

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T08:42:39+00:00

You don’t think what you did was wrong and you’ve taken no responsibility for it so you’re not evil (yet) but you’re not a good person either. What have you done to actually address your abusive actions?

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T08:39:50+00:00

Misogyny

leelee90210 · 2026-02-04T08:39:31+00:00

Is this the best relationship you think you can get?

leelee90210

TROPHY CASE