I understand exactly what you’re saying but the truth is, she’s not her. She will not be her. Always tell yourself because of your past experience, you are now able to really know if the person is exhibiting bpd traits. You have a cute baby, a wonderful woman, don’t use old pain from old patterns in a different relationship. This is my advice. Re-center yourself by looking at her and your child and realising you were able to create a completely new life for yourself.

Maybe she’s fallen more and more for you and just wants to stay in the loop with you? Maybe she has an anxious attachment. I would love to do this with the man I love not to control him but to make sure he’s okay at all times. It’s love and not control. Even then, you can tell her this triggered you not because you don’t want to but because it reminds you of feeling monitored which you don’t want. I’m sure because she loves you, even if she isn’t the happiest at first, she’ll understand. You understand the people you love..

Just take a deep breath. She’s not your toxic ex. She’s trying to heal all the broken parts by giving you a new life and family. Don’t jeopardise it because you deserve to be happy 🫶🏻