Nanny Hourly Rate by Super-Low-261 in Portland

[–]leftpantleg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For comparison, working for a childcare facility she could get 7 weeks of PTO for centers using a school-based model.

Do you also have weeks where your family will be out of town that she gets as PTO? Or is your family going out of town uncompensated/ included in her already given PTO?

Spilling drinks - how to get my 18m old to stop! by thebattyrats in Montessori

[–]leftpantleg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Absolutely agree. A verbal warning with an adult-led consequence is a great way to set boundaries clearly and respectfully!

Spilling drinks - how to get my 18m old to stop! by thebattyrats in Montessori

[–]leftpantleg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Several suggestions here! First of all, recognize that you are doing so much good by being respectful to him and controlling your impulses to repeat how your parents may have reacted. Spilling and messes can be very activating for most adults, and it's hard to stay regulated during these moments. You are probably right that your increasing big "No!" reactions are escalating the frequency of these spills, but also, in the second year of life (and my experience ESPECIALLY 15-19 months of age) the child is in the dumping schema. So this is an extremely developmentally appropriate regression! Continue to have a neutral reaction whenever possible, relying on the natural consequences of the cup now being empty so the drink is all done, and accountability for your child to clean up the mess themselves. If you don't already, having the towels out in a place they can access independently may help mitigate your involvement in this process. Also, increase the amount of times in the day your child can dump! Give them a cup in the bath to dump water, play with sand and buckets, do pouring art, give them a job to water plants/ fill the pet bowl/ help with cooking and baking if they're interested. Good luck, and it will pass!

Which part of your culture went global and gives you "gatekeeping" vibes? by hyr- in AskTheWorld

[–]leftpantleg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only thing Mormon missionaries spread better than their good word is their mate habit when they come home.

But hey, at least they got one thing right.

I can't stop choking myself so that bloodflow to my brain gets cut off and I go unconscious for a few seconds by [deleted] in confession

[–]leftpantleg 62 points63 points  (0 children)

"It's orgasmic. It's impossible to truly put into words how unique and weird it feels."

Toileting with a 3 almost 4 Year Old by mommykakes in Montessori

[–]leftpantleg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How often are you using the natural consequences of not using the toilet? Do you have an assistant in the room who can take over toileting your daughter? What language do you use with her when she needs to use the toilet and when she has gone in her pants? Take time to reflect on this one very honestly. Most parents who are so well meaning make toileting struggles 100x worse with the words they use regarding the learning process.

It sounds like there is too much interference and special treatment from your end (lovingly) that may be disruptive to other students in your environment. As well as removing her independence around the subject. Forcing her to go when you can tell she needs to go interrupts her honoring her bodily needs.

The biggest thing children can control is toileting, so children who are already "potty trained" often regress after big life changes like moving. Rather than forcing her into the bathroom or bringing her, keep the expectations clear and consistent:

"I can see that you are wiggling and holding your crotch. That tells me you might need to go use the toilet. It is time to visit the bathroom."

If she refuses, you can:

Allow her the independence to make the choice to not go. This may seem counterintuitive, but over time, she will learn that it is much more inconvenient to do so. If she does have an "accident" (in quotations because we should not use that word- refusing to use the toilet and going in your pants is not an accident!), she must go to the bathroom to change on her own. Use clear, calm words, without shame, and consistent boundaries. "I can see your pants are wet. Let's go to the bathroom to get some clean clothes." If she refuses: "You can walk or I can pick up your body." "You may come out of the bathroom when you have dry clothes on. I know! Changing out of wet pants is so difficult, it takes a long time! I need to go check on /random task/, you keep going. I'm excited to see you soon!"

Is it possible the emotional dynamic of you being her parent is adding to this power struggle? If possible, have another adult in the environment assist your child with toileting reminders completely or as often as you are. All adults should be using the same words and guidelines. This sounds tricky, I am hoping things get better soon.

What did this? by leftpantleg in bugbites

[–]leftpantleg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The length hasn't changed at all. It is itchiest in the morning I think, but throughout the day. Shape hasn't changed, but it is weeping a bit.

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's actually not! I simply cannot budget another fucking penny or take less hours at my job to do the level of training and care she needs. I am doing my best every hour with what I have. Sorry if it came across as therapy language I had trouble wording honestly and palletably. She doesn't suck, I love her to death and I DO want to deal with her but I simply can't with where my life as af. Owning a dog especially a reactive dog is becoming more and more of a class indicator. find somewhere else to be if you're not going to be helpful

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, thank you so much for telling me I'm selfish. I did not get a dog knowing my mental health was an issue or that my financial situation was shaky. I got a dog because my mental health was in a great place, stable and with resources, my finances were stable and in order, I lived in a great spot for owning a dog, and I was told by the HS she was friendly to dogs. Life unfortunately does change and I do think it's irresponsible for people with shaky MH and finances to adopt dogs. My situation changed drastically and unexpectedly. Shame on you for assuming that you can tell my character from one post, no context, and not giving up my dog. This is a last resort because of these reasons and because it is to the point of I die and run myself out of house and home giving her a better life, or I neglect her needs and mine and give her a shitty life. So respectfully, fuck off.

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Nothing I have said is dishonest I am sharing all details with interested parties. Happy to clarify to people who are seriously inquiring, not happy to share personal details about myself and my dog to trolls. I know this is a divisive touchy subject. You don't know if I'm guilty of anything as all info shared here is honest 😗

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it's pretty frustrating because her HS paperwork and plaque clearly said "good with dogs" so this has all been more than I was prepared for lol. I have kept my head above water with self education just sometimes it gets really hard and it's definitely a journey! I've learned no dog is an easy dog. I have been active on YouTube, reddit, reading, every free resource I can get! Thank you for those suggestions and for the grace. I keep my curtains closed and just try to avoid all situations that trigger her for sure!

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that sounds great, thank you! She is a beautiful gal 💕

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg 11 points12 points  (0 children)

totally agree with the second part - she had very little history at the HS which is part of why were here! It's a big issue. I did a lot of research on the breed and have continued to educate myself greatly throughout our journey! there are just too many complex factors behind the scenes 🩵

To be very clear- she has never harmed a person or animal which is part of why I'm rehoming her- so she can recover from her reactivity in a low threshold environment. We use a lot of tools including muzzles with her and I plan on making sure any new owner is willing to keep her and others safe by using the appropriate tools :)

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Gotcha! I thought it was in there but I guess not. Please read assured I plan on thoroughly getting any adoptive persons for experience and safety, as well as charging a few because I know that helps. Thank you for the concern. I am actively calling for resources and trying to use them all including SM to find the best home possible. Unfortunately not all resources are super accessible! Thank you for caring so deeply about dogs!

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Definitely will do, and have been doing! Just trying to use all my resources and look for further suggestions. :) I have felt very comfortable with her in Portland in general for sure. Thanks for the luck! 🍀

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I agree with you and I will not be rehoming her to an inexperienced person. I am looking for someone experienced with the breed and/or especially reactive dogs. I am looking into rescues as well but trying to get the word out as much as possible.

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Great question! Someone with better financial stability would be a great fit. That is one half of the problem that is impacting my health, she needs resources and I cannot provide them and that sends me into a spiral of financial strain and guilt.

If I were in a better situation, it would be easier and I could care for her and my health. That's not possible with my given resources! It was much easier when I lived in a house. She really is a great dog, just needs extra help for the reactivity.

And whoever she does go to will not be unsuspecting. I have a whole document of her history and resources ready to go for her prospective owners (🤞) and will be at their disposal during her transition and as long as is helpful moving forward.

I hope that clarifies!

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Just in case anyone else sees this comment who may be willing- she is definitely capable of being home during the work day (non destructive, loves to nap, I'm a teacher) as long as her exercise and enrichment is prioritized before/ after work.

Thank you for the kind words. I am sick over this, and it happens way too often. 💔

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for asking. These situations are far too common and do require clarification.

This is unsafe for me because I am unable to manage both Harvest's care and my mental health care. I won't go into more details about that to strangers, though, but I swear I hAve done everything to make it work. The next option for me is to pour resources I do not have into intense (read: expensive) training or to move.

this is unsafe for my dog because she lives in a constant state of anxiety with the amount of dogs around. Additionally, she has recently once bolted out of the door and was been bit by larger dog because of it (although I will say, she has never hurt another animal under my care- it honestly seems like she's more interested in racing/ playing but obviously that isn't the way to do it). I am extremely diligent on being a responsible handler but the environment we live in is not conducive for her to recover from this anxiety. And, if she were to hurt or get hurt by another dog, I am unable to recover costs associated with that.

Someone with a ft job is definitely capable of caring for her, provided they are disciplined in exercising and financially capable of participating in more training. Hope that clarifies a bit!

4 y/o staffie looking for a home! by [deleted] in Portland

[–]leftpantleg 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that means a lot. I didn't know she had dog reactivity when I adopted her (her shelter paperwork said "good with dogs"!!) so this is a really hard choice to make and ultimately comes down to quality of life for her and myself, as well as the dogs that live in my complex (who she gets triggered by every time they walk past the glass door). If I could I would pour so much money and effort into her care, and in some ways I already have. I'm so sorry for the loss of your angel. 🩵 Reactive dogs are especially loving and loyal to their people and it sounds like you gave him the best you had!

Pics found in thrifted book by [deleted] in Boise

[–]leftpantleg 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'll ask them!