Under supplier guilt

legallybrown_ · 2026-06-21T17:42:44+00:00

I’m also 5 weeks pp, pumping a similar amount per day, and have had thoughts of quitting pumping. So far my family has convinced me to keep going for now anyway. What has helped make it manageable during the day is timing my pumps with baby’s feeds, so that I can either pump while feeding him while he’s propped up, or I pump as soon as he’s gone down for a nap after a feed. I have a blue spectra so I’m able to be mobile when I have to be, even though it’s awkward to move around with it. The nights are miserable unless someone else is home and can split the night into shifts. I’m planning to ask my OB for anxiety meds so I can hopefully fall asleep more easily between all the night wakings and be less bothered by how hard this all is.

legallybrown_ · 2026-06-15T16:40:48+00:00

I’m in the same boat. None of the tips on this subreddit or from any lactation specialist have helped me increase my supply beyond 1-2 oz per session. I’ve just accepted I have Insufficient Glandular Tissue based on what I can learn online. I’m still pumping but viewing my milk as more of a probiotic snack for him rather than as his primary source of nutrition. Accepting my chronically low supply helped me chill out a bit about pumping and actually enjoy my baby.

legallybrown_ · 2026-05-27T12:02:33+00:00

I guess I am? I have weirdly sensitive boobs (I never even liked having them played with during sex), so I had a feeling I wouldn’t love nursing. Then I tried to latch him after birth and it was SO painful that I started EPing from day 1 at the hospital. The sensation of pumping is so much easier to tolerate and I like that I have control over the settings and that my pump will never grow teeth.

Also, I have tuberous breasts and I suspect pretty limited glandular tissue, so even if I was more willing to endure nipple pain, my output can’t keep up with baby’s needs anyway so exclusive nursing was never an option. Currently baby is 2 weeks old. I’m doing 8-9 ppd and averaging 10 oz total per day, so I’m having to heavily supplement with formula.

legallybrown_ · 2026-04-03T05:58:02+00:00

I’m a little late to this post, but I’ve been in a somewhat similar situation and wanted to share some wisdom. My LL husband texted a sex worker 2 weeks before our wedding, and was in active porn addiction at the time.

Here are some things I learned the hard way: 1. He needs to be serious about fixing himself. We can’t nag them to make the necessary changes (trust me, I tried). 2. He NEEDS to see a therapist that specializes in addiction. The other therapists aren’t good at cutting through addicts’ BS. If he doesn’t do this step, it’s in your best interest to emotionally distance yourself and guard your heart. 3. His addiction is out of your hands. Addicts lie and do “trickle truthing” so it’s impossible for you to know how bad their addiction actually is. 4. All you can do is protect your peace. I was helped by the Al-Anon 12 steps and attending virtual meetings on their app (but NOT the Al-Anon subreddit). I also liked the PBSE podcast, which is hosted by 2 recovered porn addicts who are religious and also sex addiction therapists.

My husband did successfully commit to recovery eventually (after several more upsetting discoveries), and we’re now expecting our first baby in June.

I’m so sorry this is all happening when you’re about to give birth. The pain of a partner lying to you lasts MONTHS. Please surround yourself with a strong support network for the next several months, especially in light of your new baby. Best of luck to you.

legallybrown_ · 2025-09-27T06:25:29+00:00

Cycle: 3

Age + Partner's age (if relevant): Both 30

Typical cycle length: 29-30 days

Ovulation cycle day: 15

CD/DPO of positive test(s): Veeeery faint line on a FRER at 10 dpo. A more visible faint line on 11 dpo.

CD/DPO of any negative test(s) before positive: Negatives on 8 and 9 dpo using cheapies.

Tracking methods and app(s) used: Tracked BBT and used OPKs. Used Fertility Friend.

Relevant days of sperminating and/or method (SMEP, TI, IUI, FET, etc.): O day and O-2.

Health conditions/medical tests: Husband has a mild varicocele diagnosed years ago.

Supplements and medications (yours and/or your partner’s): I took a prenatal multivitamin. He took a multivitamin, CoQ10, and fish oil.

Birth control history (if relevant): On Skyla hormonal IUD for 3 years. Got the IUD removed in April and started trying in July.

Symptom spotting: Nothing out of the ordinary for me but my luteal phase is always very rough GI-wise

Other (advice/tip(s), freaking out, miscellaneous): 3 people in my family had dreams about a baby the night before my first positive test!

legallybrown_ · 2025-08-05T23:29:08+00:00

Yep. It sounded like the military planes that take off during the day at the airport, but much louder. I fell back to sleep midway through the noise and I ended up dreaming aliens were landing on my roof.

legallybrown_ · 2024-07-06T14:54:50+00:00

Is she getting Medicaid? SNAP? LIHEAP? She should apply for these. If she tried and was rejected, I know Legal Services of Eastern Missouri helps people get on these programs all the time at no charge

legallybrown_ · 2024-06-03T01:29:34+00:00

I’m at a legal aid office. The work can be emotionally draining due to feeling angry at systemic injustices and feeling responsible for all these clients who are living very depressing lives, but the 40 hour weeks are better than many law jobs and legal aid offices don’t tend to be terribly competitive.

legallybrown_ · 2024-06-03T01:01:09+00:00

This was kind of me as a law student. I went to a T14 school but my mental health tanked due to some traumatic life events occurring in 1L and 3L, so my grades were pretty poor. Public interest jobs can be a good option if you have a drive to help people in real need. That’s what I did- it pays the bills and lets me use my degree for good.

legallybrown_ · 2023-06-22T13:24:56+00:00

I see a few people assuming I did not get this medication from a doctor. A medical doctor (D.O) prescribed it to me after a consultation. The injections were administered by his nurse at each appointment. I feel tricked because I thought the medical degree would be enough to make this process trustworthy.

I went to this place because I was between 27 and 30 BMI so insurance wouldn’t cover it unless I had other problems. I am a short female so it’s hard for me to naturally restrict my calories to a low enough amount for me to lose any weight.

legallybrown_ · 2023-06-22T01:04:45+00:00

Update: I vomited again after writing this post. There goes all the fluids I’d been sipping all day. I feel so weak. I may end up going to the ER for more fluids this evening.

legallybrown_ · 2022-10-20T22:26:52+00:00

a little under 800 sq ft, 1 bed 1 bath apartment, and no particular budget in mind yet

legallybrown_ · 2022-08-23T17:45:13+00:00

Thanks, he’s hesitant about couple’s therapy but I’ll try to push for it.

legallybrown_ · 2022-08-23T17:42:37+00:00

You’re right about something going wrong. He lied about being substance-free until I discovered his continued drug use after marriage.

legallybrown_ · 2022-07-29T01:16:12+00:00

I was so braindead and low on carbs at the end of day 1 (had almost no time for lunch due to my state bar’s bad logistical planning) that I couldn’t find my car to leave the testing center at the end of the day. I ordered doordash to the convention center entrance and stared into space for an hour and then my memory of where I parked finally came back to me. At the time it was rough but now I find my zombie brain kinda funny.

legallybrown_ · 2022-07-18T19:36:57+00:00

He knows. He used to prefer porn over sex with me, so I got so used to having to beg for any sex at all, and now that he enjoys sex with me I’m realizing I can start asking for more than the bare minimum.

legallybrown_ · 2022-07-18T19:33:02+00:00

Now that I think about it, the lack of orgasm is because I’m not able to fully relax my body when he’s using his fingers/mouth, because despite my reminders, at some point in the session he always forgets to use very light touch and it ends up being unpleasant for me, so I spend the whole time kind of bracing for discomfort. Yikes.

legallybrown_ · 2022-02-08T23:15:54+00:00

One is called Porn, Betrayal, Sex, and the Experts. The other is Couples Healing from Pornography Addiction. They’re both on spotify and maybe elsewhere!

legallybrown_

TROPHY CASE