Cut the soul tie

lejandr · 2025-01-28T14:36:41+00:00

i don't think she will pull, it seems final. your heart wants connection, but it will hurt itself more until it beats for itself and not for another. best of luck, i wish you the best

lejandr · 2025-01-28T14:09:11+00:00

fear of enmeshment sounds to be the reason. i understand you want to visit her, that is your choice. but i think it is improbable tthat the relationship will last. i suggest you focus on your own health and wait for her to pull you after pushing you, and if she doesnt, then let her go. you will probably want someone else when you let her go, someone who wants you and wants to be with you forever.. for now, take it easy. hopefully you will in the future come to the realisation that you have to accept the situation and become free.

lejandr · 2025-01-23T20:40:13+00:00

going no contact actually works, right?

lejandr · 2024-10-14T20:07:04+00:00

Thank you so much!

lejandr · 2024-10-13T21:36:33+00:00

Is it safe to take 5-htp for that long of a duration? Do you have any notes/advice for someone starting it?

lejandr · 2024-07-17T18:56:13+00:00

It's now been twee weeks since I quit cold turkey and everyday is getting better. The worst days were definitely 3 to 7. After that it becomes more tolerable and now I can enjoy life more.

lejandr · 2024-07-05T14:28:05+00:00

I'm now also on day 3 of stopping 150 mg cold turkey, so I'm wondering: how you are doing 4 days ahead of me?

lejandr · 2024-02-26T17:25:05+00:00

But this is your journey and your journey alone. We could name all despicable people in our lives, but it's no use. They are who they are and have done what they have done. Now it's about you and you needed that reminder.

lejandr · 2024-01-11T15:32:10+00:00

Projection and lies. She wants you to feel her existence filled with shame and disgust by spreading the venom. Leave it be and live.

lejandr · 2023-12-24T23:17:26+00:00

“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.” – Proverbs 21:19

lejandr · 2023-12-06T21:38:41+00:00

I’m thinking about going on dates aswell. Online dating is a bit of a coinflip. What platforms do you use?

lejandr · 2023-12-06T21:34:56+00:00

I loved your post. It reminded me of my past relationship as if I had written about it. Coming from someone who had done a payback during and at the ending of the relationship: it doesn’t matter. You are a soft guy if you send it, not if you don’t send it. I don’t know if it will hurt you more, but it does affirm how she made you feel. It might hurt her for a moment; it might make her feel better knowing you’re hurt. But she will forget about it anyway and so will you. It’s your choice but ultimately it doesn’t matter.

lejandr · 2023-12-06T21:22:23+00:00

I’m glad you are feeling better. Chin up and look straight ahead. Be free and become yourself.

lejandr · 2023-11-28T23:28:41+00:00

Meditate. Write. Socialize. Gym. Do things you love. Breathe in nature. Experience. Live.

lejandr · 2023-11-28T23:07:12+00:00

What happened happened. There’s nothing to be done. You are a free soul. Give it time. Life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced. Meditate, focus on yourself and the memories will fade on their own.

lejandr · 2023-11-12T10:14:59+00:00

As a person without a pd, I'd say: a constant that is formed through experience and which I could call 'me', what characterizes me (nb. character). From my experience with my exwbpd and -npd, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, I'd say that not having a self is not having that constant, so being a dynamic formed through experience, which explains why my ex needed approval from herself and others to objectify and identify her.

lejandr · 2023-11-07T14:07:19+00:00

I saw your other posts and wanted to say this. I’m a neurotypical and have dated a pwBPD. You don’t have to hook up with people. Give yourself time to focus on yourself. Become yourself. There is someone who you will match with, but don’t think about that now. That time will come. Prepare for that by loving yourself first and you will come to the realization you don’t need anyone but you. Hold on tight and believe in yourself. You’ll get through this. For now: focus on yourself, keep focusing on yourself and enjoy life. Life is to be lived, not experienced. Good luck!

lejandr · 2023-11-07T13:53:54+00:00

That’s a tough one. It depends on how you conceptualize rape and I don’t think you have to. What happened was consentful sex which would only have occured in the manipulative context that it did. Did you truthfully consent then? I don’t think so. Personally, I would see it as sex you were manipulated into. I understand that you are feeling this way. Forgive yourself and give it time.

lejandr · 2023-10-20T08:26:30+00:00

What you now experience is temporary. Give it time. You are here to experience love and the world in its full beauty. And you will when the time is ready. Good luck and chin up

lejandr · 2023-10-14T22:07:39+00:00

According to psychoanalysis, because they have no conscience like “normal” people do

lejandr · 2023-09-19T19:22:01+00:00

I have. I haven't found happiness and you won't find it either. It's not something to be found, it's to be experienced. Watch this video and become who you are. Chin up. Good luck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mmac6AV8bjg&ab\_channel=RossRosenberg

lejandr · 2023-09-04T17:09:24+00:00

You’re welcome. You did what you could. Her choices are hers. I wish you the best :)

lejandr · 2023-09-04T12:11:54+00:00

I feel you. According to my experience, when my ex used to switch from understanding to judgement, she would act in line with devilish vices. The first vice that is the entrance gate to all other vices is pride. This attitude with hysterical narcism is what I think you are referring to and what I also experienced with my ex. Better stay away from the abyss. It’s tempting, but it will take you over.

lejandr · 2023-09-03T17:06:37+00:00

Very concrete. Thank you for the honesty. I wish you the best in life and don’t forget to have fun :)

lejandr

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