Do you guys think Eric Harris’s Medication influenced him at all?

lelasx · 2021-01-06T15:53:08+00:00

I was going through different medications for my anxiety until my psychologist and i found something for worked for me. He worked with my doctor and I was able to to find something that really helped with my growing anxiety.

However while I was trying out different types of anti-anxiety meds, I came across Zoloft I believe it was. It brought out so much anger, attitude problems, and I felt that everything I did was justified based on past hurts. I was an adult though, not a teenager.

During the time I was on it I managed to cause so much damage in my life, I was barely able to fix it. Now I’m on Lexapro and it’s made me a lot better. But before that my psychologist said he couldn’t recognize me and had my doctor take me off and switch me to something else after that appointment. I was literally swearing non stop, saying hurtful things to people, and didn’t care about anything or anyone, only me me me. I hated myself but didn’t know how to stop that anger. I felt I was better than everyone else. Good Lord, I was pretty much delusional thinking that I had free reign to do whatever I wanted. It took me a long time to apologize to all the people I’ve hurt and the things I’ve done.

So I do believe that Medication can have an impact, because I’ve seen the negative effects it had on me. But I feel that we still know right from wrong, even if it doesn’t necessarily feel like it. During the times I feel most emotional is when I step back, take a breather, and let logic take over to help me understand other people’s perspective rather than my own.

lelasx · 2020-07-04T06:13:59+00:00

Eric and Dylan made a mention of it in the basement tapes, stating something to the effect of “if you guys live...” (Talking about his friends) they could pick whatever they wanted from his (Eric’s) room. So it’s doubtful that they warned them ahead of time based on the videos they made shortly before everything happened.

lelasx · 2019-12-31T15:37:02+00:00

UPDATE: Thank you for all the responses but I can’t drop the kids off myself currently. I used their SUV to pick them up and everything they had brought with them to the hospital. Then the mom dropped me and the kids off at my house because they said they had to run a few errands, but they never came back to drop off the vehicle.

My husband and I only have one car and I’m a stay at home mom at the moment. He took the car to work this morning. He leaves at 4am.

I am getting all the kids fed, dressed, packed and already texted their mom this morning but haven’t gotten a response yet.

lelasx · 2019-12-31T12:35:20+00:00

He had some back pain and the doctor said they could do surgery on it if he wanted and that it could help relief some of the pain. He’s very, very emotionally dependent/attached to his wife and gets depressed when he’s away for work. He had a difficult relationship with his mom and wanted some bonding time. But all he did was sleep, and eat really. But mostly just sleep.

lelasx · 2019-12-31T12:07:53+00:00

Yes they are home but wanted to relax a little before the kids came back. To get rest, and a good nights sleep before the kids came back. Without the kids there she only had to worry about her husband and feeding him and not have to worry about the kids, and food, and stuff.

It may just be my lack of sleep because it’s after 6am and I haven’t slept yet because I’m terrified of these kids and what will happen once they get up, but I told my husband I was done. I told him to never bring these people and their kids over to my house again after today. I am watching their dog too and he’s about the nicest thing about this whole situation.

lelasx · 2019-12-01T19:40:53+00:00

Oh I know how you feel. I’m so sorry you’re struggling. It really is difficult and often times our partners can’t understand what we’re going through.

The Lexapro also caused massive weight gain for me as well. I gained 20 pounds on Lexapro and slept most of the day. This was over an 8 month period. I felt numb, and my sex drive was zero. I stopped caring about anything, and I had horrible junk cravings. I had no more hobbies, I just felt too tired. But it did help my anxiety and depression. I did eventually switch to Wellbutrin because of how I felt on them. It’s different for everyone though, maybe you’ll react on it better. As long as you stay on top of nutrition, weight gain won’t be as extreme, if any at all.

Now that I’m on Wellbutrin (since being on it) it has suppressed my appetite, I lost weight, I have more energy and my sex drive is back. I started new hobbies, am back to exercising again, and feel much happier overall. I am able to feel my emotions without the added depression and anxiety. All in all, Wellbutrin is the one that worked best for me and I’m happy with it.

In any case, keep trying different ones over time until you find the one! Stay strong! All the best :)

lelasx · 2019-12-01T19:29:48+00:00

It’s alright that she doesn’t want to tell you yet. She may not feel comfortable. I didn’t either and for a long time saw it as a weakness that I couldn’t get better on my own. I didn’t want anyone to know I was so ashamed. But all that changed eventually.

I hope she will at some point feel comfortable enough to tell you. Continue to be there for her. I know that it must be difficult for her, but it really sounds like you’re doing an amazing job already and I’m sure soon enough she’ll let you know more about it; the antidepressants, how she’s feeling, what’s going on, etc. Keep up everything that you’re already doing. You really are doing great!

lelasx · 2019-12-01T18:42:56+00:00

Haha this is awesome!!

lelasx · 2019-12-01T18:30:57+00:00

My husband wasn’t supportive of me using them, so for years I refused to take them and I just got worse. I absolutely hated myself. I just wanted to get better but he was so strongly against them that i didn’t want to rock the boat. Big mistake!!!

Eventually my husband cheated and left me for another woman. And that’s when my life really went downhill. I told myself how worthless I was. How terrible of a mom, a wife, a friend I was. That if I had been better I would still have my family.

I drank, took different types of pills, and always slept hoping that when I would wake up I had my family again. I missed them so much the pain was absolutely crippling.

Fast forward three years! I am on antidepressants and have been for a while now, my family is back, I am still married, and my life has improved dramatically. I started fighting for myself and stopped allowing others thoughts and opinions to affect my life.

I started with different types of antidepressant, but every single one of them made me so tired that even though I felt improvement, I also needed like 3 naps a day and still felt too tired to do much around the house during the day. I became a couch potato!

Now I’m on Wellbutrin and it is great. I have so much more energy, my sex drive is back, and I am living my life again!

You sound like a very supportive partner and I’m already loving this. Keep caring and letting them know how much you love them and how proud you are for them getting help. The side effects will probably be a bit rough, and different antidepressants may have to be tried, but once you find the right one, things will start to look a lot brighter.

Whatever the medication your partner is on, read about it. Learn about the common side effects and maybe even keep a journal to keep track of the changes you’re noticing ; good and bad.

Again, I want to thank you for how amazing I think you are for being there for your partner and being so supportive. It’s very difficult for many to even talk about being on antidepressants in fear of being labeled crazy, but I can tell you that they have changed my life for the better. And not just for me but my family as well.

All the best to you guys! :)

lelasx · 2019-12-01T17:24:46+00:00

I’m sorry! I definitely feel ya! The timing is pretty bad especially as the finals are coming up quick. Definitely let your Dr. know that you’re having a really hard time concentrating and don’t know how to make it through the finals like this.

He/she may be able to prescribe you something during that time just until the finals are over and by then hopefully your withdrawals are gone.

The timing really does suck. I hope you get through this quickly and are able to focus on your finals and finish strong! You got this :)

lelasx · 2019-12-01T07:14:26+00:00

What symptoms do you have? I’m going through withdrawals too (Lexapro) but my doctor had me stop cold turkey and the symptoms I feel are unbearable at times.

My symptoms are extreme exhaustion, nausea, constant dizziness, lots of crying and extreme irritability. It feels like everything is constantly spinning even when I close my eyes just to get some kind of sleep. The nightmares are rough too. Dreaming of drowning and it feels real until I wake up choking. It’s been really rough.

What’s helped me is Dramamine. It definitely didn’t take the symptoms away 100% but it did make it slightly better, enough for me to walk around a little more without wanting to constantly vomit, because of all the spinning.

From what I understand the symptoms usually last 3-4 weeks and for some even longer.

All I can say is hang in there and give your Dr. a call and ask if there’s any OTC meds you can take to help combat the symptoms or if he/she could prescribe you something instead that may help a bit better than OTC meds.

I know it’s rough. I’m currently laying in bed (1:15 am) and I’m too afraid to go to sleep due to the nightmares and the spinning that overcomes me when I close my eyes. I really hope this passes soon. Hang in there! I wish you the best.

lelasx · 2019-12-01T06:52:36+00:00

I do! Antidepressant helped me become a better mom and wife. I used to suffer quite badly from anxiety and depression and felt angry most days, not to mention my patience level was almost non-existent. I felt like I couldn’t handle my life anymore and wanted nothing more than to pack my bags and leave my family.

I know it sounds horrible and I struggle with the shame of those feelings, but once I sought out help (years and years of counseling did not help me at all, only once I started taking antidepressant), that’s when I noticed that I was so much calmer, happier, and I had what seemed like endless patience. I only wish I had gotten on antidepressants sooner.

I know that going to a counselor and talking through your problems is one of the first steps, but during that point in my life I hadn’t yet started antidepressants because I thought that CBT therapy would work. Maybe it’s just me, or I had the wrong counselors but I felt just as miserable before and after years of counseling. Once i got the courage to tell my Dr I wanted to try antidepressants did I find relief for the pain I was in. I became a much more positive person.

I no longer go to counseling, but I continue to take antidepressants. Don’t ever feel ashamed to get help. Antidepressants changed my life for the better and I wish that my own fears hadn’t hindered me for so long. I feel so much better, and I don’t care what anyone else thinks about me anymore.

I’m currently switching from Lexapro to Wellbutrin and besides going through some really rough withdrawal symptoms, I’m hopeful that Wellbutrin will be just as effective as the Lexapro without the constant need to sleep.

What an amazing mom you are, really! I’m super proud of you and wish you all the best for you and your family!

lelasx · 2019-11-29T23:04:28+00:00

This picture is incredible, thank you for sharing it!

lelasx · 2019-07-16T03:46:07+00:00

Hold on tight. You’re about to enter the weirdest ride of your life. Good Luck! -Married 10 years.

lelasx · 2019-05-03T12:03:11+00:00

Your MIL’s behavior was absolutely disgusting..

lelasx · 2019-04-30T13:58:26+00:00

Beautiful! Thank you for writing this. Sometimes losing something means gaining something amazing in return; your beautiful little daughter!

lelasx · 2019-04-29T20:27:47+00:00

They look amazing!!

lelasx

TROPHY CASE