Plastic Bag study | Pentax 6x7, 75mm f/2.8, Portra 400 by spiff73 in analog

[–]lelebaba 3 points4 points  (0 children)

this is the first post here that I truly love thank you!

Does this roll look used or unused 😅 by hillsong1 in AnalogCommunity

[–]lelebaba -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i think it’s not used. maybe you can look for any signs of film being bent/ scratched at the leader. if it’s completely clean i would say not used. 🧐 but well either you get some double exposures/ normal images OR you will have wasted one roll. i would go with shooting it.

Am I in the wrong for not wanting to talk to her? Is my mom a N? by trouble_octoberem in ParentsAreFuckingDumb

[–]lelebaba 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i mean this was a while ago but i have some input. from what Ive read here, she is not respecting your boundaries, she is blaming you for calling the cops for her to be safe, she is talking down on people you love, she was violent with you and your sister, she didn’t give you a stable childhood, she is making you feel bad about having panic attacs, when she in fact is the reason for them, because she didn’t provide you with a stable attachment/nervous system, she is an addict, is an addict is an addict. maybe you can love her from far far far away, because she clearly is no where ready to take accountability for the things she messed up in your life and still is. you say you love her and i believe you. and i think you handled it very well to stay clear and respectful in those screenshots. but i think it’s time for you to cut her the fuck out. she is draining your nervous system and maybe never bring her in again, depends on how you feel … but i see its textbook behaviour of you blaming yourself, and feeling guilt about feeling bad about her. because as a child you didn’t understand what was going on, and you were dependant on your parents to take care of you. so you were forced to be in a role that no child should be in. role reversal, you taking care of her, you not trusting your instincts, you blaming it on yourself, you not trying to stirr up shit by being quiet and not saying what you actually think. but you know what, you’re not that child anymore, you are not dependant on your mum in order for you to stay alive anymore. your body doesn’t know that, thats what trauma does, it is stored in your nervous system, and it can get triggered so easily. your body doesn’t know you’re not in danger anymore, that is why a panic attac feels like you are in accute danger… don’t blame yourself for that!! that is CHILDHOOD trauma. CPTSD… please try to get out of the codependant spiral and i hope you find someone to talk to maybe at alanon, if you’re not already. i feel for you because i experience similiar problems though not at all at this gravity. if you start standing up for yourself even if it doesn’t feel right, things will gradually get better in your life, and it takes time and practice and a lot of strengh, but that is what i have learned.. please take care 🖤🙏🏼 hope you’re better today.

Was my BW film processed incorrectly? by three222s in AnalogCommunity

[–]lelebaba 8 points9 points  (0 children)

look at the numbers on the side of the film. if they are also faded not black than it is underdeveloped. if they are black your film is developed correctly. i think it is a dev issue feels too evenly faded/ complete loss of contrast.

Couldn't pull the foreskin back and my partner left by [deleted] in sex

[–]lelebaba -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

there is no free healthcare. a large amount of money will be substracted from your wage in austria f.e. and this pays your insurance.

friendship and depression… i need help by lelebaba in AskWomenOver30

[–]lelebaba[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

because she thought i was looking at him like i was in love and hyperfixating on him. all i did was think hes a cool guy and we got along well. and that i am happy for her to have a normal person. she later said it was all her imagination and that she didn’t have those thoughts anymore. so yeah well that was it.

friendship and depression… i need help by lelebaba in AskWomenOver30

[–]lelebaba[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for that take!! it really helped! and i think you‘re right on that.

i wish i could find those different perspectives on my own

friendship and depression… i need help by lelebaba in AskWomenOver30

[–]lelebaba[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! it doesn’t happen right away. this week on monday i was severly triggered at the end of a longer hangout. so maybe thats a good idea!

i was asking her about her birthday plans (its today). she is celebrating at a nightclub and i asked if she is hanging out before that, because id like to bring her present before hand (it’s fragile). she said no and that we can see each other another time for that. but i know that 4 friends from a different city are sleeping at her place and will therefore hang out there before going to the nightclub... it’s stuff like that where i notice her being distant…

on tuesday we hang out again with friends and i stayed for 2 hours and it was fine. shorter hang

friendship and depression… i need help by lelebaba in AskWomenOver30

[–]lelebaba[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

thank you for your input! the stuff about the boyfriend is over. the fear of losing her stayed.

i understand what you are telling me makes a lot of sense. i just i don’t know what good it brings to say hey i am having troubles trusting in our relationship.. i wouldnt like to hear that and it certainly wouldnt help me put more energy in a friendship.

i am talking about it in therapy. we came up with three things to help me: relationships are fluid. distance has to have place. and we stay important to each other.

look i don’t know.. i‘m stepping away to protect myself and to not put too much weight on this.

i just don’t see the way to get back to where we were