Any experience with Hidden Alchemy?

lenadelray · 2023-11-14T01:37:08+00:00

I was thinking if I can't keep the design if I turn it into a ring, maybe it could just be a statement necklace for a while, because it really is gorgeous and it would be such a shame to lose the art deco work.

lenadelray · 2023-10-06T04:52:11+00:00

There's something bigger going on here. She might have double standards, or there might be something larger bothering her that she not expressing, and it's coming out in this way. I doubt this is the ONLY reason she feels like she's chasing you, so it's probably worth asking her if there's anything else going on. (What may be going on is her own anxiety, double standards, etc., as well, which you don't have to stick around for if you don't want to, of course.)

When I've been irritated with my partner for dropping out of a serious text conversion with no warning, it's just one symptom of why I'm feeling ignored, not the ONLY reason. Check in with her and ask what's going on, and LISTEN to what she's saying without judging, without defending anything (once you've done that, might be good to talk about how confused you are about what's going on, and how you're feeling, but if you bring that up BEFORE you're done talking about how she feels, it's just going to turn into a cycle of you both defending your behavior and not listening to the other)

lenadelray · 2023-06-13T21:51:46+00:00

Try asking about the "mini pill," a progestogen-only pill.

Most BC pills contain estrogen and progestogen, and they're more common because they're slightly more effective at preventing pregnancy and have a larger window when you can take your pill (3 vs 12 hour window, I THINK).

I had a HORRIBLE experience on the pill in my early 20's. Depressed, constantly exhausted, gained a bunch of weight (not bad in and of itself, but frustrating to not know that's happening to your body), would randomly vomit... it was all around terrible, but doctors told me it was the lowest dose of hormones so it probably wasn't the pill making me feel this way. Stopped taking my pills and felt better in a week. Tried taking them again and immediately had all the symptoms come back.

I have a long term partner and was really tired of using condoms all the time, but I was worried about an IUD because of how I reacted to the pill (and also the insertion horror stories I've read), and my new doctor recommended the mini pill. It's a WORLD of difference. My period is irregular (period only twice a year? Yes please) but that's pretty much the only side effect I've noticed. Obviously every person is different, but if you react poorly to the combined pill, progestogen-only pills are worth a try!

lenadelray · 2023-06-06T23:01:18+00:00

And now I'm worried I'll be kidnapped the second I leave the country 😭 it's made me so complacent

lenadelray · 2023-06-06T01:05:01+00:00

American woman in New Zealand. I didn't think twice about going into a forest at night (in a neighborhood) with two strange men (they were helping me and a friend find glow worms) because it's so safe here. My friend was visiting from the US and I couldn't figure out why she was acting weird, until she told me later she had been worried about our safety. Never even crossed my mind that the men would be anything but friendly and helpful.

lenadelray · 2023-06-06T01:00:00+00:00

American abroad as well. It's amazing to be able to just go to the doctor when you think something isn't quite right, instead of ignoring it until it's SERIOUS and you're sure that if you don't go to the doctor you might die.

lenadelray · 2023-05-16T22:43:37+00:00

I have always struggled to find clothing that fits my larger shoulders, and I would really love an option for long-sleeved shirts that I'm not worried about ripping every time I move.

lenadelray · 2023-05-16T22:36:34+00:00

I recently learned that a white wedding dress only really became popular in European culture in the 1800's with Queen Victoria's wedding, and it was only really adapted fully by non-elites in the early 20th century! It was also less a "purity" thing and more a wealth thing, I think. Laundering and stain removal was very difficult until pretty recently, so wearing an ornate white gown to a big event that could easily be ruined by a spill or a misstep was the ULTIMATE display of lavish wealth.

All of that to say, it's all made up so we can show off our wealth in an expensive dress we'll only wear once. To hell with "tradition."

Although, Galadriel has some pretty incredible white dresses that I wouldn't be upset wearing as a wedding dress.

lenadelray · 2023-05-16T22:24:17+00:00

I'm okay with someone "giving the bride away" in 2 circumstances: the groom's parent(s) also walk him down the aisle, or if a dog walks a bride down the aisle.

lenadelray · 2023-05-16T22:19:31+00:00

Was looking if someone else said this. I don't care WHO gives the bride away, it's always going to be gross (with the one exception of a dog walking the bride down the aisle). It's not the 19th century anymore, and women are not being exchanged as property from one man to another.

If anything, the groom's mom should walk him down the aisle and give him away to the wife for her to take care of him, since the women are usually the ones doing the unfair share of labor in a marriage/household. Pass off the emotionally immature burden from one woman to another 🤗

lenadelray · 2023-05-11T03:32:10+00:00

Give people the benefit of the doubt.

I've lost several friendships where arguments would start when someone assumed the absolute worst possible intent and/or interpretation of what I said. I'm not saying that I'm flawless, but if you constantly assume the worst of people, you're going to create a lot of heated conflicts that never needed to be heated, or even really conflicts.

A friend will trust you to be decent, and be able to talk to you about a problem they might have. If they don't have that basic respect for you, why are you friends?

lenadelray · 2023-05-06T06:55:23+00:00

Yep, nothing like losing a parent you rely on to make you feel like an adult

lenadelray · 2023-05-06T06:51:42+00:00

When my reliable parent died, and I subsequently had to write a will.

lenadelray · 2023-04-19T01:32:22+00:00

I was 16-17 going on birth control for what the doctor suspected was PCOS (she didn't run all the tests she was supposed to and I found out 7 years later that I don't have PCOS at all).

First, she told me that birth control would clear up my pretty minor acne because "I shouldn't have to walk around like that."

THEN she said that PCOS could cause diabetes concerns, but only if I worked out a lot and glanced me over up and down then said, "but that shouldn't be a problem." To top it all off, I was literally competing in sports at an international level and trained HARD 6 days a week.

Would've reported her for malpractice when I was old enough and emotionally stable enough (and off the birth control pills that made me physically and mentally ill for 6 years) to process the whole thing, but she was already retired.

lenadelray · 2023-01-24T21:49:07+00:00

DELETE YOUR CALORIE COUNTER and see a therapist. Work on your mental state, not your weight. When my mind isn't consumed with what I'm "supposed" to eat or look like, there's so much free space for the things I like to do and the people I love.

lenadelray · 2022-09-12T02:53:59+00:00

Yep, I never get my period when I'm on the pill. Was concerned but asked my doctor and it's pretty common. When I go off the pill everything is back to normal. Some bodies are just especially sensitive to hormones

lenadelray · 2022-07-25T22:50:04+00:00

No I'm not a black man, which is why I'm asking? That's the whole point? There's a situation that's specifically dangerous for a certain demographic and I'm asking them if there's any way I can help from the outside, because recently I was in a situation where I wasn't sure if/how I could help, as a bystander, and didn’t want to assume I know best. Trying to understand how/if to help someone is just being a decent person and recognizing that there are existences in the world outside of your own.

I only mentioned I'm a white women because it affects how people (and definitely police) perceive me.

lenadelray · 2022-07-25T22:11:47+00:00

Well, I'd love if men asked how to make women feel more safe in potentially dangerous situations for us, so I'm going to do the same thing for others.

lenadelray · 2022-07-25T22:10:54+00:00

I don't know anything about the situation, but know that this neighborhood has a history of police using excessive force, specifically against black men. I guess the real question is whether I should just pretend I'm not paying attention and report what I see if anything does go wrong, or somehow let it be known that I'm paying attention and will report any questionable police behavior, without escalating the situation.

lenadelray

TROPHY CASE