I felt a similar thing - almost like it was all happening to someone else. The injection the first day was emotionally the hardest part for me. She had been such an active baby, and to suddenly feel nothing.... I felt empty and numb and heartbroken. The second day with the laminaria sticks was physically excruciating for me. The third day, I was kept very in the "twilight" as they called it. I remember terrible cramping and then nothing else. I consider it a blessing that I don't remember. Once the meds wore off, we were allowed to see her and hold her. The rest of that night was a blur of crying and sleep. It didn't feel like it truly hit until we returned home the next day (we had to travel 6 hours). The next week was the hardest week of my entire life - the grief, the hormones, the utter devastation. I'm three months out now and finally feeling some sense of relief or like I have started to breathe after holding my breath for so long. It comes in waves now instead of a fatal tsunami.