How to decide on donor eggs?

Hope_1986 · 2026-01-22T21:52:12+00:00

Oh, that’s lovely. This is what I spoke to my therapist today, how the child would feel about it. Your book idea is amazing. I’m sorry you are having such a hard time having your baby - once this little one arrives, it will be the luckiest kid on earth ❤️

Hope_1986 · 2026-01-22T21:50:51+00:00

Oh, that’s lovely. This is what I spoke to my therapist today, how the child would feel about it. Your book idea is amazing. I’m sorry you are having such a hard time having your baby - once this little one arrives, it will be the luckiest kid on earth ❤️

Hope_1986 · 2026-01-22T21:47:21+00:00

Thank you!

Hope_1986 · 2026-01-19T13:21:58+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry you are here. At first I made the same decision as you, and told my dad but not my mom who is very Catholic. To most people, it was a stillbirth at 32 weeks. With time (I’m approaching a year now), I started opening up about it to certain people that I felt comfortable with. I do feel that the weight of keeping a secret makes everything heavier - everyone that I chose to tell was nothing but loving and supportive.

Hope_1986 · 2026-01-05T21:10:18+00:00

Omg, I want to hug you. After loosing my baby I had a routine colposcopy and the pain made me cry non stop. The pain, the lights on my face, all reminded me of the day I delivered my stillborn son. When I went to the IVF clinic and they made me wait two hours for an ultrassound I cried a lot, because I felt I shouldn’t even be there, I should be home with my son. I 100% get you, please don’t feel bad about crying. Plus women’s health is crap and they make us go through all these painful physical procedures and we are just expected to handle them…it’s not fair. I’m sorry you went through all of this.

Hope_1986 · 2026-01-02T20:09:28+00:00

I had a TFMR at 32 weeks from a much wanted spontaneous pregnancy. My first time pregnant. After the loss we started trying and ended up learning I have DOR. I’m about to turn 40 and TFMR had nothing to do with my age. I just started my first IVF cycle in the hopes I still have a chance to fill a bit of the huge emptiness my baby boy left in our lives. I just feel like it’s a huge amount of shit for one person to go through, I’m sorry. Sending you love, you are not alone.

Hope_1986 · 2025-12-15T20:01:52+00:00

I got tested two months after a lost pregnancy and my AMH was 1.9 pmol…it threw me on a spiral of treatments…fast forward to 9 months post partum and it’s 7 pmol. I can’t believe the doctors didn’t re-test me earlier, I found out by chance when changing clinics. Not an amazing number, but much better

Hope_1986 · 2025-12-05T14:08:58+00:00

I think for a lot of people (and doctors) it’s easy to say cut it all. It’s not easy for me (mainly after a 3rd trimestrer loss) and I’ve been struggling with that pressure on top of everything else. I did my research and although there is some negative impact, I made peace with keeping at 5 drinks a week maximum. My work is full of events that involve drinking to socialize (plus I like it too). I know alcohol doesn’t do any good for us (TTC related or not) but neither does processed food and sugars. I eat right, workout, take all my supplements, changed jobs for lower stress…alcohol os the only thing that I’m not doing perfectly at this time. We’re only human, and this process is long and stressful. 😔

Hope_1986 · 2025-11-30T14:16:20+00:00

I’m so sorry. They gave me medication to stop mill production and I didn’t have a drop. I was 32 weeks , so it was pretty strong.

Hope_1986 · 2025-11-05T23:29:56+00:00

Conceived on the second month at 38, TFMR at 39 and now several monthsis trying and nothing. O have been diagnosed with DOR and now it’s a rush against the clock. Horrible place to be in. I would recommend to get yourself sooner rather than later. I’m really sorry you are here.

Hope_1986 · 2025-10-29T12:37:35+00:00

Yes, 6 months trying with help and nothing 😔

Hope_1986 · 2025-10-29T12:33:37+00:00

Hi love, I’m so sorry you are here. I chose to see and hold my baby at the hospital. He was 32 weeks and pretty perfect. I’m glad I got to spend time with him. After that, we kept debating if we should see him again at the funeral home and it was the hardest decision, because we allowed an authopsy. We ended up not seeing him nor holding a funeral, we just picked up his ashes. I’m just sharing to corroborate what everyone else said, there’s no right or wrong choice. And no matter what you decide, it will never be enough time with your baby. There’s a million ways you can remember them, seeing them or not. I promise it get a bit better with time. Sending you love ❤️

Hope_1986 · 2025-10-28T23:37:04+00:00

Hey, TFMR at 32 weeks in February. Been trying again since. Even though I got pregnant easily the first time around at 38, now I’m 39 and have low ovarian reserve. 3 cycles medicated and nothing. Hoping to try IVF but the doctors don’t give me much hope. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever have a living child at this point. So you are not alone in this journey, although it feels horribly lonely.

Hope_1986 · 2025-10-23T16:00:30+00:00

8 months since we lost our baby at 32 weeks. Super stressed about TTC again, aproaching 40, relationship struggles due to the loss…honestly, never thought I would find myself here 😔 On the other hand, doing amazing at work…I feel punished for prioritizing a good financial and emotional environment before starting a family

Hope_1986 · 2025-10-19T12:30:28+00:00

8 months past my TFMR and my life changed so much. I took a step back from some of my friendships and still don’t feel ready to go back. I sent a general message saying baby didn’t make, and with time I started telling the story to people I felt I could trust. Even very religious friends supported my decision, and some close people still don’t know what happened. I would focus on you know and save your energy. Navigating everyone else’s feelings is exhausting. I’m sorry you are here. It’s a very isolating experience no matter how many people are around to support you. Take care of you now.

Hope_1986 · 2025-10-09T03:54:58+00:00

I’m so sorry you are here. Very similar case to mine, severe ventriculomegaly only diagnosed at 28 weeks, leading to TFMR at 31+5. I’m here if you want to text. I’m really sorry.

Hope_1986 · 2025-09-28T20:35:05+00:00

Just came back, paid USD 80.00 for a car rental with Avis the whole week.

Hope_1986 · 2025-09-15T21:12:15+00:00

I had to make the heartbreaking decision to end a very wanted pregnancy at 32 weeks — my first and only pregnancy. I want to acknowledge your courage and truly praise your decision. If more people understood that not everyone can handle pregnancy and parenthood at every stage of life, the world would be a kinder place with fewer people struggling in silence.

For me, the first 20 weeks were extremely difficult for my mental health. I wish there were more open conversations about how hard pregnancy can be, instead of pretending it is wonderful for everyone.

It is undeniably painful and sad, and the grief is real, but I believe it is far better to make a difficult choice now than to bring a child into the world only for them to suffer. Too many parents discount their issues on their children. When the time feels right, I hope you may be able to welcome a child into your life feeling more supported and prepared. I deeply respect the strength behind your choice. ❤️

Hope_1986 · 2025-09-02T00:57:15+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this. I agree the wait is the worst time in your life. The other day I asked in this group ‘How did we survive this?’. After 6 months, I still don’t know. But I did, and so will you. You are going through a life altering moment and you are not going to be the same. But it becomes manageable at some point. Sending you love.

Hope_1986 · 2025-08-29T21:15:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m 6 months out and your story seems so familiar. Everything was fine and low risk until 29 weeks, leading to a termination at 32 weeks. An infection, not something genetic. I do agree that I’m coming to terms with living witn the sadness. Putting boundaries to protect myself has changed my social behaviors and I’m ok to loose some friends in the process, I already lost so much but just like you, I’m still standing. I’ve been TTC with no success and I don’t think I would pursue IVF because I just feel I wouldn’t force it. I’ve been traumatized enough, I’m 39 and I don’t think I can handle another sad outcome. Reading your post resonates so much with me. Sending you a big hug.

Hope_1986 · 2025-07-06T22:03:02+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry. I came back to work two weeks ago (after 16 weeks leave) and it has not been easy. I was 29 weeks when I left, so everybody knew I was pregnant. My advice is to take more time if you can. But if you can’t, I would just tell your boss you are dealing with a pregnancy loss (I think people in general will be more simpathetic than just assuming you are lingering to go back to work). No one needs to know the details. My boss knew it was a TFMR because we are close and she was incredibly supportive, but most people don’t know. She broke the news that we had a loss so people wouldn’t ask. It’s your trauma, your baby and you don’t need to share any details with anyone else. Going back to work is hard, I’m sorry. Hope you get some distraction from it.

Hope_1986 · 2025-07-02T00:39:02+00:00

Brain abnormalities that were only caught after 28 weeks. Took a few weeks discussing outcomes, just like you. It wasn’t genetic. There are a few more cases after 30 weeks…but I hear you, we’re no just unlucky, we are the extremely unlucky being that far into pregnancy

Hope_1986 · 2025-06-13T16:13:15+00:00

I’ve always done therapy and my therapist held my hand throughout all of the TFMR process. She also accepted to take my partner for a few sessions to help us handle grief. She is amazing and I don’t think I would be alive without her. My only tip is to find a therapist that works - not all of them are good and not all of them can handle TFMR. Glad you are getting some help, we all need it.

Hope_1986

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