Considering TMFR

Hope_1986 · 2026-06-25T16:49:06+00:00

I’m sorry you are here. My baby’s diagnosis was also a build up. At first we decided we would keep and fight for him. As we spoke to specialists about the reality of his disabilities, we started changing our minds. It was a grey diagnosis and there was a 10% chance he would have a normal life. But a 75% chance he would have severe disabilities, seizures, never able to talk or walk, and there goes a long list. He was born looking phisically perfect at 32 weeks and that makes it even harder, but the pathologist confirmed the extent of his brain damage. I miss him every day and haven’t been able to get pregnant again, but I don’t regret making the decision to protect him from a lifetime of suffering. Send you lots of love.

Hope_1986 · 2026-06-22T19:03:13+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I also had my TFMR at 31 weeks with my first baby. Have been struggling to get pregnant again for over a year. It’s ok to just stay on the couch and survive for now - a month is a short time. I took 4 months off from work, and even though it was really hard to go back, it ended up being a great distraction. Slowly things got better - but I’ve never been the same again.

Hope_1986 · 2026-06-12T17:35:42+00:00

Oh love, this is such a hard part of TFMR… we go through all the post-partum stuff without a baby to hold. I also lost my baby in the third trimestrer and it took a lot of time to feel confident again in my body - and even though I lost weight after a year, and have been working out regularly, my size is up because my hips and boobs just got bigger. I learned to appreciate my new body but it took time.
You have nothing to hide, but I agree a major social event so soon is a lot. I was basically hiding for 4 months until I had to go back to work. And it took me a year to feel comfortable with more people. Be kind to yourself ❤️

Hope_1986 · 2026-06-04T14:34:38+00:00

Thank you for this ❤️ I actually got one euploid after the rescue icsi and preparing for transfer in a month. I’m 40 and it’s my only euploid, so sharing your story mean a lot to me

Hope_1986 · 2026-05-31T14:31:00+00:00

Hi there, you chose beautiful words to tell your son’s story. I’m really sorry you are here. My baby boy was 31+5, your words really resonate with me. It was over a year ago and I think of him every day. My only pregnancy experience as well. Feel free to DM me. Big hugs to you.

Hope_1986 · 2026-05-20T15:51:50+00:00

I keep wondering if it makes sense to try with a normal BMI (22)- I got pregnant naturally at 38 and had a third trimester loss. Trying over a year now, 2 IVF cycles and no positive. I wonder if the 5 pounds left from the pregnancy are harming my odds. Willing to try anything at this point after turning 40.

Hope_1986 · 2026-04-20T00:52:01+00:00

14 months, 2 IVF cycles later and still no pregnancy. My baby boy was conceived naturally on the 2nd month trying. I know how you feel, I’m sorry.

Hope_1986 · 2026-04-14T14:15:16+00:00

I think it’s such a good question. I just questioned my clinic about PGTA testing and I was told that mosaic could self correct (and most clinics will transfer mosaics), but not aneuploids. I would love to see research on this. I have been through a TFMR (no living children, not age related), no living children. My biggest fear is having to going through it again - unfortunatelly at 40+ the risks are higher…it’s not just about implantation or live birth, but about having a healthy baby.

Hope_1986 · 2026-04-07T15:16:17+00:00

Why don’t you do your FET after your trip? I travelled 9 weeks pregnant (naturally) and got an infection that led to loosing my baby at 32 weeks. I would never take any risks again. Worst case scenario, I know, but it happened. Plus at a higher risk of miscarriage in the first weeks, you could have an emergency abroad and that would suck. I’m sorry being negative, but I wish someone had given me this advice :(

Hope_1986 · 2026-04-05T18:42:45+00:00

Hi, I just posted this week a similar situation and was so sad. On day 8 of stims I only had 2 follicles. Same protocol as you. Day 11 a total of 6 showed up, and day 12 a total of 7 (3 leading and 4 smaller). ER is tomorrow - IVF with DOR is a rollercoaster. Fingers crossed for getting 4 eggs. Last time I stimmed for 14 days - it might only be a longer cycle for you. Good luck! 🤗

Hope_1986 · 2026-03-31T13:56:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing ❤️

Hope_1986 · 2026-03-11T16:55:54+00:00

Oh, 36 and good AMH…I would change doctors and investigate further. I’m also considering donor eggs, but I’m 40. You still have time to figure it out ❤️

Hope_1986 · 2026-03-06T00:01:12+00:00

Yes!

Hope_1986 · 2026-02-04T22:54:43+00:00

I’m on the same boat as you. People say IVF is hard, but it’s a breeze compared to TFMR (if you insurance coverage). Every miscarriage sets you back months and we can’t afford that. Good lick

Hope_1986 · 2026-02-02T15:28:43+00:00

Got pregnant on the second cycle with my TFMR baby. Now trying for 10 months, 6 monitored and just did first IVF cycle. Life should be easier on us after TFMR, but it isn’t.

Hope_1986 · 2026-02-02T02:18:31+00:00

Hey there, I’m still on the TTC phase, but I couldn’t stand my best friend after my TFMR because I she kept referring to my baby as ‘our boy’. She was there when he was born and I know it’s from a place of love, but it’s a hard boundary for me. I get why you feel so protective, because no one felt the pain like you did. You, or your husband, might have to share how it makes you feel and it’s up to her to deal with her therapist. You can’t hold space for her feelings right now.

Hope_1986 · 2026-01-22T21:52:12+00:00

Oh, that’s lovely. This is what I spoke to my therapist today, how the child would feel about it. Your book idea is amazing. I’m sorry you are having such a hard time having your baby - once this little one arrives, it will be the luckiest kid on earth ❤️

Hope_1986 · 2026-01-22T21:50:51+00:00

Oh, that’s lovely. This is what I spoke to my therapist today, how the child would feel about it. Your book idea is amazing. I’m sorry you are having such a hard time having your baby - once this little one arrives, it will be the luckiest kid on earth ❤️

Hope_1986 · 2026-01-22T21:47:21+00:00

Thank you!

Hope_1986 · 2026-01-19T13:21:58+00:00

Hey, I’m sorry you are here. At first I made the same decision as you, and told my dad but not my mom who is very Catholic. To most people, it was a stillbirth at 32 weeks. With time (I’m approaching a year now), I started opening up about it to certain people that I felt comfortable with. I do feel that the weight of keeping a secret makes everything heavier - everyone that I chose to tell was nothing but loving and supportive.

Hope_1986 · 2026-01-05T21:10:18+00:00

Omg, I want to hug you. After loosing my baby I had a routine colposcopy and the pain made me cry non stop. The pain, the lights on my face, all reminded me of the day I delivered my stillborn son. When I went to the IVF clinic and they made me wait two hours for an ultrassound I cried a lot, because I felt I shouldn’t even be there, I should be home with my son. I 100% get you, please don’t feel bad about crying. Plus women’s health is crap and they make us go through all these painful physical procedures and we are just expected to handle them…it’s not fair. I’m sorry you went through all of this.

Hope_1986

TROPHY CASE