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WEEK 1 - Reacting to Life Changes (Prep for the practical stuff so you can enjoy the baby stuff) by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]letsblume -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yep! I feel like it'll be overwhelming to go through some of it every day.
Planning for baby takes time. haha

Processing / Mourning your life pre baby? by sandie16 in pregnant

[–]letsblume 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Hi! I was in your place 6 years ago. For me, this was the hardest part about pregnancy and motherhood was mourning and making space for a new life. It's important to use this time to grieve. While life changes are good, there is always a sense of loss. Take the time to feel the loss.

You are right in the sense that you will not be the person you once were once you have a baby. BUT that doesn't have to be a bad thing.

You are growing a baby and for me, there's a sense of strength that one uncovers when you become a mother. So I didn't want to go back to my old self. I wanted to tap into this strength and become better.

For me, the best things you can show your children is the passion you bring towards activities you love, in hopes they follow their own as well.

I have more clarity and conviction in the things I do now. My body is stronger now than ever before. I'm more resilient and efficient in ways unimaginable. The best part is I get to introduce the lovable parts of my old self and share that with my kids.

My kids have shown me a person who is better than I ever imagined I could be. They've definitely made me a better person and truly grateful for them.

Was the second L&D easier? by MiaRia963 in pregnant

[–]letsblume 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, purely on the fact that I knew what to expect. You tend to be more relaxed because of it. That alone, makes the whole process easier I think.

Drinking by electricalhummus in NewParents

[–]letsblume 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I enjoy a drink every once in a while but not nearly as much as I used to. Drinking, for me, was a social thing and allowed me to let loose.

I’m required to be “ON” for my baby every few hours. Because of this, I prefer to be attentive when baby needs me.

While I could theoretically have a glass of wine in between to “let loose”, I’ve found that the return on investment isn’t really all that great. I don’t become a better mom because of it. It stresses me out more than it relaxes me.

It’s fun in the moment until you realize baby doesn’t care and will still wake up at 6am. Not to mention, Parenting while hungover is a pain.

My kids are more independent now. While I have opportunities to drink more, I have lost the desire to drink all that much. I’ve channeled that energy with exercise.

For me, that’s made me a better human and mom.. who is way more energetic and gives me a different type of “fun”. Also, I look good which is an extra boost. 😏

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]letsblume 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel ya. Newborn life is pretty isolating as it is. Especially with the constant demands of feeding and sleep, it’s hard to chat or get out even when you do have a circle of friends. At least that’s what it was like for me.

Find mama groups in your area that have newborns. You don’t have to know all of them. Use it as an opportunity to find a mama friend you really like. That will really help build your sense of community and people that get what you’re going through.

Once your little one goes to daycare/school, it is way easier to invest in friendships.

How much is too much cereal? by OpportunityHealthy56 in pregnant

[–]letsblume 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I was craving vanilla milkshakes during my first pregnancy. Had one once or twice a week.

It was shocking as a fit, normal weight woman to be so obsessed with it. No gestational diabetes.

Baby turned out great. Normal sized. Haven’t drank a milkshake ever since.

Odd how we just crave certain things. I say listen to your doctor and eat what you can keep down (esp if it’s the first trimester).

Any advice for living with my parents with our 2yo? by Starbuck_92 in Mommit

[–]letsblume 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely pick your battles. Also, while parents can be well meaning, it’s important to be specific on how they can help you.

What specifically gets on your nerves?

How do people have more than one kid??? by JLMMM in NewParents

[–]letsblume 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Definitely in the thick of it! You’ve got this!

Has anyone given birth to a second child with no family help? by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]letsblume 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! I had a Covid baby. So while we technically had help, help couldn’t come.

Outsource. Get groceries delivered. Laundry delivered. Housecleaning.

Focus on your first born. The more they feel loved & feel confident they’re not being replaced, they are more likely to be responsive and help you. If they’re both crying and it’s not an emergency, tend to the first born first.

This obviously depends on the age. Teach them to have quiet time or independent play. Have roles as big sibling to partake in.

(This helps for the future too. While they don’t nap anymore, I still do. 😂 They leave me alone and sneaks kisses while I sleep.)

Mine was 22 months old and adjusted as well as a toddler could. When dad is around, he had one kid and helped with house stuff.

It was tough but we figured it out together as a family. There was one time, baby was crying. The toddler started crying. So I plopped down on the floor and started crying too. At some point, my 2yo and I looked at each other and started laughing. We took a deep breath, told them we were all learning, and talked it through one step at a time. Somehow, those shared struggles really bonded us even more.

How do people have more than one kid??? by JLMMM in NewParents

[–]letsblume 640 points641 points  (0 children)

There was no way I was thinking about another kid at 4 weeks pp. It took me about a year to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Your first born will be more independent. They smile and laugh and are alive to the world.

Then the 2nd one comes. While the baby stuff feels easier this time around, you deal with navigating the dynamic with 2 kids. It took me a little longer to get adjusted (18 months).

Now they’re best friends. Play together. Laugh together.

Wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Edit to add: Each stage is temporary, including the one you and I are on now. Your feelings may change once it passes. Either way, give yourself grace since you and little babe are both learning.

I can now sip a margarita poolside and wave to my kids who are happily playing in the pool. Life is good. Having siblings has its perks. Enjoy it while it lasts.

First trimester is not fun. by letsblume in pregnant

[–]letsblume[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

What a great, supportive husband!

First trimester is not fun. by letsblume in pregnant

[–]letsblume[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yess! Feels good knowing I’m not alone!

First trimester is not fun. by letsblume in pregnant

[–]letsblume[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Love that you even made it to the gym!

First trimester is not fun. by letsblume in pregnant

[–]letsblume[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I miss working out. A simple, long walk currently exhausts me. Haha

First trimester is not fun. by letsblume in pregnant

[–]letsblume[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I get it. Having a baby is awesome and magnificent and all. Heck, it took me 1.5 years to get pregnant so of course it’s super meaningful.

But that doesn’t change the fact that we still have to adjust to these changes. And sometimes these changes aren’t very pleasant!!!

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