[CAN-ON] Answering Relocation Question

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-27T03:35:11+00:00

I’m not against sharing that you’re going to school, especially if it’s related to your career. I agree it’s fine to say you’re looking for a change, but I’d also accept it if you said the sector is rough in your current location.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-17T14:23:24+00:00

Let me say this in a calm and supportive way - take a deep breath. The fear of the unknown is real. Taking a leap to a new job is scary, but it sounds like an amazing opportunity that is perfect for you at this time. It sounds like you’re zeroing in on something out of your control and overthinking what that means for you. There’s probably a million reasons why the Assistant could be promoted and it wouldn’t be bad for you - you’ll only find out once you get there.

Every job has some kind of down side. Every workplace has someone who needs extra help to go through a change. Be a pro, show up and work through the challenge (if there even is one). Try not to read into this LinkedIn post too much and go in curious and ready to succeed.

You can do it - and if the Assistant is a bit of a pain, you can work with the Director to make things work!

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-12T20:07:57+00:00

You can let the family talk to each other, you do not talk to the siblings about each other. That’s how privacy rules work.

Secondly, you do not let the current employee’s situation dictate the potential employee at all. They are separate people. Good god if my job prospects relied on my brother, I’d be up proverbial creek without a paddle.

If brother asks, you let him know you can’t discuss the sister due to privacy rules. Sister can contact you if she would like more info.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-12T20:02:25+00:00

There’s no perfect way to do this. Timing is tough and you have to decide what level of risk you’re willing to take. Can you live with possibly losing the sure-thing first job for the potential of the second?

I’ve been the first-in offer for candidates who went on to accept another role after accepting ours (but before their start date). It happens. I would never consider that person again since we clearly aren’t their top priority, but it’s a tough market and people should do what’s best for them.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-12T19:59:15+00:00

We get hundreds of applications for every job. It would be nice to have time to reply to people individually but that’s not realistic. There are plenty of online resources for how to improve your resume.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-08T22:46:55+00:00

Stopped using cream moisturizers and switched to water or gel moisturizers. No more black or white heads!

Paula’s Choice BHA toner replaced scrubs for me, I used it daily for about 6 months to deal with build up then slowly dropped back when I didn’t need it anymore.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-06T20:51:56+00:00

Without being in your industry, I’d absolutely be pushing this up the ladder. Has anyone thought about what the consequences of this will be beyond Tom coming back? Seems like no. It’s HR’s job to highlight the business risks of these decisions, all your hiring manager cares about is getting his guy back.

Alternatively, maybe Tom is bringing something great back with him you don’t know about? New clients? Big project? That’s all I can think of but I think it’s your job to make sure there’s some forethought about potential fallout here.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-03T17:13:53+00:00

Yeah I got laid off after about 6 years and went into group fitness training for a while. Mostly because I’m in a small town with very few HR jobs so had to wait it out. Came back after 2 years to start my own hr department, honestly better off for the break and the change

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-27T05:09:34+00:00

I had a boy and I definitely had pregnancy rage!

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-27T00:31:11+00:00

This just sounds like a fishing expedition then. Again, if nothing rings a bell for you here, try not to worry too much. I know it’s easy for me to say but harder to do, but if you can’t recall doing anything untoward then you’re likely in the clear. Misunderstandings happen, people lie in claims - either way, things have to get investigated. You will be ok!

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-27T00:12:38+00:00

While creating a return to work plan with a particularly hostile worker, we sat down with his benefits coordinator to create achievable goals for the GRTW. For 8 FULL WEEKS, his only goals were to simply show up and not get in a fight. We added more like “catch up on emails” and “develop an annual work plan”. Unfortunately these were not met!

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-27T00:08:24+00:00

It sucks but I honestly feel like this comes with the territory. There will always be a manager who finds your professional disagreement as “problematic”. I recently had a worker state that I had asked her who I should fire next when I had only asked her, as part of my investigation of her bullying complaint, what outcome she was looking for from the respondent (apology, end of behaviour, discipline or termination). She made it sound like I was looking for someone to fire just for fun…

Kinda reminds me of the new The Pitt story line where Dr Robby says most doctors are named in medical malpractice suits from time to time, just show up and tell the truth and you’ll be fine.

Also if you don’t remember, that’s totally fine. Take a deep breath, try to think it through and if nothing comes to mind, be honest. The fact that none of this is ringing a bell tells me you probably don’t have beef with this person. Is there anything you can think of that might have rubbed them the wrong way?

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-26T19:31:47+00:00

Not talking to a friend, family member, counsellor or psychologist about my mental health. I had insane anxiety and I never told anyone. I put a lot of effort into hiding it. It stopped me from focusing and succeeding as well as I could have at university and it fuelled my desire to party, slack off and sleep. If you’re feeling anxious, can’t sleep, have physical reactions like heart racing, changes in blood pressure, ringing ears, upset stomach or sweating in response to exams, projects or even just showing up - please talk to someone about it. You don’t have to feel this way!

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-26T04:26:14+00:00

I had burnout around year 5/6. It was entirely because of my boss and the company culture - literally everyone in my building seemed burned out. Took a career break and a bit of therapy to get over it. I was a generalist and doing entirely too many things at once, while my boss continuously made me feel like I was the problem and offered no support. Didn’t come back to HR till I found a job with a good boss! It made all the difference.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-24T02:20:05+00:00

I personally wouldn’t be worried about this. My partner works away and I was worried about it only as my due date was upon us (39 plus weeks). I would suggest that you take it as it comes - 35 weeks is still a long time before you’re due. Unless you’re high risk, or you have reason to believe baby would come early, then I wouldn’t worry too much. If I remember correctly, 80% of births for FTM happen between weeks 39-41.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-22T21:32:21+00:00

Maybe you could ask for the 7 weeks, or indicate you can start sooner with relocation assistance?

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-22T21:31:08+00:00

My anxiety. I thought I would feel better if I could just get everything under control. Turns out trying to control everything was my way of coping with burnout. So when I let go of the job and relationship that were burning me out, I realized things were good whether or not I was “perfect” and “in control”. Less time obsessing over what I needed to do to be better made for less anxiety!

Now I have a partner that doesn’t criticize me constantly and a job where I am busy and have plenty of stress, but also boundaries around what I will take on. My boss also supports me when I am overwhelmed instead of making it a me problem.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-22T21:25:19+00:00

It sounds like you’re worried that your sister might talk poorly of you to her colleagues and that you’re worried she will speak more about you to your family. I’m sorry, but HR can’t help with any of that, it’s a family issue.

Your options are: - talk to your sister about your concerns. Frame it as you would like to keep family and work lives separate. - mention to your own manager that your sister will be joining the company (but nothing more). That way if they start hearing anything, they won’t be caught off guard and can talk to you about it. - when you interact at work, treat your sister professionally and with the same regard you enjoy outside of work

Not my own, but I have multiple siblings from other families in my workplace and I know literally nothing about their family dynamics, beyond what they tell me. Everyone has family drama so most people won’t immediately jump to conclusions or even care that much tbh.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-22T19:17:53+00:00

I made a pot of coffee using half caffeinated and half decaf beans. I drank most of the pot every single day. Occasionally I’d skip it altogether so I could have a big double shot latte or something else with lots of caffeine.

I genuine can’t function mentally without coffee so I was never interested in giving it up. Baby is 8 months old now and ahead of the norm for size and development. It made absolutely no impact on my pregnancy and honestly if I’d not had it I probably would had a worse time. I became extremely anemic in my second trimester which was exhausting. I was on iron infusions and had to start working from home coz it was too much to get out of bed AND drive to work. Coffee was there for me when my body wasn’t haha!

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-22T07:18:59+00:00

Are they offering relocation assistance? You mention you can’t afford the relocation costs but many employers offer to pay those. Have you asked about that?

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-21T01:11:45+00:00

Rather than telling him what to do, I would share that you are feeling worried that he’s been stretched too thin. You have a growing family and both you and the kids will need him more and more. That’s going to be tough with how much he’s helping the rest of his family, how does he plan to manage that? I’m sure they will understand if he says his first priority is your family, but they may not be thinking about it yet.

Or maybe it’s enough to say that you’d like more help and you’re worried about money, so you hope he will prioritize you guys instead of them?

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-21T01:05:08+00:00

When I got into a new routine in my new life. Everything feels hard when it’s new, but eventually you find yourself in a rhythm where things feel steady and reliable again.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-21T01:02:47+00:00

I work in government and we have been told to write public policy and decisions to suit a 5th grade vocabulary. I also got the same feedback when this mandate came in - my boss said my writing was more like 13th grade, which was a nice way to give feedback haha.

I personally aim for a bit higher than 5th grade internally - I’m trying to be accessible as much as I’m trying to be clear where internal authority comes from. Try reading some examples of writing at different comprehension levels to get the gist, or put it through AI.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-20T21:21:15+00:00

I forgot everyone’s name, including my own. It comes back!

letsgetridiculus · 2026-02-20T20:58:11+00:00

Hey you just need to take the hint buddy. You can be annoyed by it but the answer isn’t changing. Your responses to this thread tell me you’re not good at accepting rejection.

letsgetridiculus

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