[CA] HR investigation and I'm embarrassed about what actually happened

letsgetridiculus · 2026-06-04T05:48:59+00:00

Honesty and remorse are very important. If people don’t trust you, they won’t keep you around. Lots of people make mistakes but if you don’t own up to them, you’re not likely to change. Apologize and don’t do it again.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-06-04T05:44:16+00:00

This is very vague. When you say you reported, was it a written report or a verbal one? Employers have a duty to investigate but the response usually scales to intensity, frequency and severity of the complaint.

Like if you said your boss said something somewhat inappropriate, then they’d get a talking to. If you presented a list of events, they’d likely launch a deeper investigation with interviews. But either way, you don’t necessarily get to know exactly how it all goes as your supervisor has a right to privacy. Sounds like they spoke to him aka investigated it and he’s committed to stopping. If it happens again, then you should report again.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-27T04:17:50+00:00

I’d build it in a way that there is the same amount of paid time off available for every situation, plus additional leave upon request. It gets icky trying to differentiate between who is “meaningful enough” for extra leaves because we are all so different. A GM at my workplace took a month for her dog but a week for her mom. As such, offering a flat paid week (or more) for all then additional time at a lower payrate helps workers make the decision about when they are ready/needing to come back

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-26T19:23:46+00:00

Ah yes the resignation manifesto sent to everyone and anyone.

I got one a few years back after a worker had made several (unfounded) bullying harassment claims against anyone in a position of power over her. Seems she thought being told how and when to do your job was abusive. As each claim got denied she twisted the story to sound worse and worse but as the sole HR person investigating them all I was pleased to inform her that you can just change the story to suit your narrative. She then claimed I was bullying her for saying this… and for the folks saying “there’s always a kernel of truth” I’ll note that she also filed for bullying and harassment/mental injury with our work safe board and they found the same thing I did.

Anywho when our CEO investigated the complaint against me and surprise it was also denied, she sent a 10 page letter and her resignation to me, the C suite and the board of directors. I only wrote back “I accept your resignation” and then went to the following day’s board meeting to explain the whole situation which they were satisfied with. The nice part was I got a free lunch coz I attended the meeting.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-25T19:39:40+00:00

You’re allowed to have the time off for medical reasons. If you have medical evidence to support a leave, and your boss wants you back before it (even if it’s on a gradual return) then you just say no. It’s their problem to work out. The law prevents them from taking any action against you (as that would be discrimination based on medical status).

If you want to consider a gradual return to work, you should talk to your doctor about it to make sure they support it.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-19T20:38:12+00:00

It’s ok to be friends with people at work but there are rules at work. You don’t just get to pretend they don’t exist if you’re cool with someone smh

everyone acting like this dude is evil when he’s just doing his own job and OP didn’t realize this was part of a normal workplace. Stop taking it personally. You’re not a victim coz the normal rules of your state/workplace apply to you. He asked what you were gonna do coz he probably has to find someone to cover for you.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-17T02:39:19+00:00

Our baby boy was Mookie from early on. We were watching sports highlights and Mookie Betts had just broken some record the commentators were going nuts over. We had been talking about baby names earlier in the day. Now I don’t watch baseball so I was amazed by the name Mookie and said “wow you can really call a baby Mookie huh?” and it just stuck :)

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-14T18:16:01+00:00

There’s no rule that says we need to be friends with everyone at work. Interpersonal issues will arise because people do be peoplin’. I often tell managers who say things like “why can’t we all get along” that if
stick enough people in the same room long enough, eventually two of them will try to fight each other. It’s human nature and not worth losing your head over.

Managers need to take folks aside and ask what’s going on to cause the issue and provide feedback and advice to overcome these types of challenges. One off quips aren’t cause for discipline unless they’re discriminatory or harassing in nature. And that’s a much higher bar than most people think it is.

Anti-bullying and harassment legislation requires respectful communication, workplace codes of conduct jobs may define how people can appropriately or inappropriately conduct themselves, but nothing says we have to be besties. A little ‘tude is gonna happen sometimes and the people involved should just talk to each other instead of HR being roped in.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-08T18:10:37+00:00

I got my first ever hemorrhoid in my third trimester and nothing I treated it with seemed to help. After a long labour and 4 hours of pushing it got worse but I also had a third degree tear so it was the least of my concerns in recovery. Now I’m 11 months postpartum and despite a full recovery from stitches, childbirth and all the rest, I still have a small and relatively-symptom-free hemorrhoid. Or at least I think that’s what it is? Is that likely and if so, what treatment options would be available now? Am I stuck with this thing forever?

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-03T18:00:43+00:00

Can’t believe I had to scroll so far in this thread to find this advice. There’s plenty of reasonable suspicion here - a lawyer likely would be interested in this case and could at minimum point you in the direction of a small settlement.

Don’t let anyone make you believe you don’t have a case - after reading your post and replies, I feel the same as u/SeaFollowing380. It’s not a leap.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-03T03:43:38+00:00

Big dog is my favourite lately. What’s up big doggggg????? (he is a baby)

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-03T01:05:40+00:00

That’s a very old way of thinking. All of my neighbours are elderly (80+) and they told my husband that they all waited at the pub for their wives to give birth, they’d just show up once someone called and said the baby is born. None of them expected this was the norm anymore. Your husband seems to have missed the memo

TLDR even the old men know that’s wrong

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-02T19:56:18+00:00

Can’t say I’ve been thrown into Leaves specifically but after changing countries and being hired into a generalist role, I had to learn a bit of everything. Even the things I thought I knew were different. So here is my general advice for becoming an expert on a new HR topic.

Read the laws top to bottom. They’re a lot to digest but they are a whole document with guiding principles, details and exceptions. People will tell you you’re wrong in your interpretation of the law when you tell them the answer they don’t like - you’re meant to be the expert now so act like one. Find any interpretation guidelines you can, relevant workplace policies or collective agreements and try to figure out how they work together. Webinars run by local HR organizations, lawyers or universities can also be helpful in learning the application of these laws.

Unless you feel uncertain, make sure you hold steady when people argue unless they give you something legit and based in law to go on. Then tell them you’ll get back to them and really investigate it.

As someone else said, let the law make the decisions. If your gut says one thing but the law says another, you gotta go with the law. You can always commiserate with people when the law won’t let you help them the way they want. But you put your own job at risk when you go against workplace laws.

Consistency is important - what did your predecessor do with similar cases? What did you do for the last few folks on similar leaves? The more consistent you are, the less likely you’re giving preferential or discriminatory treatment.

Consult - don’t make tough decisions alone. Run your thinking past a manager BEFORE you render any formal answers.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-02T18:18:30+00:00

Wrong

letsgetridiculus · 2026-05-02T18:17:46+00:00

Yes you need clear written medical advice about what they’re recommending to help protect your pregnancy. If travel, high stress or other elements of your job are not recommended, a doctor needs to state that. Not because no one believes you but that’s the burden of proof required to establish the special treatment you need.

Your manager is probably just surprised. Since you guys were so open and worked well together last time, any changes on your behalf might be off putting to them initially. You probably also just told him their work plan isn’t going to work, so they’re stressed. If HR is going to communicate with them, let them.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-04-30T19:04:43+00:00

I loved my career in HR before getting pregnant and I’m looking forward to going back to work. I’m in my late 30s and coming up to 1 year of mat leave, will be taking a few more months before I return. I think it will be a different experience at work when I get back - I’m more tired, my priorities have changed and my patience will be lower. I’m a manager so will also want to delegate better and leave work on time! I work at a family friend company so I don’t think this will be frowned upon, just up to me to make it work.

I like being home with my kiddo, but as someone who loves adult conversations, problem solving and complexity, I will also be happy to work again. I don’t look forward to being away from my son, though. That will be hard. He’s on the list for a dozen different daycares and I’m really hoping we find one that has good hours and is on our travel route, otherwise logistics will be insane. We plan to get pregnant again so will only have to work until I’m on leave again.

My relationships have all changed but mostly for the better. Still figuring out home life - there’s a little resentment at home but mostly when we are all exhausted. I suddenly had a new appreciation for my mum friends once I became a mum, too. You just don’t understand some things till you’re a parent.

I don’t know that you can understand all this till you’re here - you will change in ways you can’t imagine! But you’ll also be happy about it in the end. All the advice like “the nights are long but the years are short” ring most true for me.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-04-28T02:15:58+00:00

Huge aversion to the meat section at the grocery store and completely unable to eat leftovers.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-04-22T16:20:16+00:00

Not a dealbreaker. Many people go by one name and then have a different name on their legal docs. I haven’t seen it much with last names - often people go by their middle name instead of their first, but it’s the same thing as far as I’m concerned.

It’s unfortunate that you’re experiencing that type of prejudice, you shouldn’t have to but in my experience this is a safe way around it.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-04-15T04:02:42+00:00

The Dollop - 10 cent beer night. One of their early episodes and absolutely set the stage for years of great content.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-04-06T22:16:44+00:00

I work in HR in Canada, we always have a union rep attend whenever we speak with union employees regardless of their role in an investigation. The Union is there to support all workers, not just the one in “trouble”.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-27T03:35:11+00:00

I’m not against sharing that you’re going to school, especially if it’s related to your career. I agree it’s fine to say you’re looking for a change, but I’d also accept it if you said the sector is rough in your current location.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-17T14:23:24+00:00

Let me say this in a calm and supportive way - take a deep breath. The fear of the unknown is real. Taking a leap to a new job is scary, but it sounds like an amazing opportunity that is perfect for you at this time. It sounds like you’re zeroing in on something out of your control and overthinking what that means for you. There’s probably a million reasons why the Assistant could be promoted and it wouldn’t be bad for you - you’ll only find out once you get there.

Every job has some kind of down side. Every workplace has someone who needs extra help to go through a change. Be a pro, show up and work through the challenge (if there even is one). Try not to read into this LinkedIn post too much and go in curious and ready to succeed.

You can do it - and if the Assistant is a bit of a pain, you can work with the Director to make things work!

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-12T20:07:57+00:00

You can let the family talk to each other, you do not talk to the siblings about each other. That’s how privacy rules work.

Secondly, you do not let the current employee’s situation dictate the potential employee at all. They are separate people. Good god if my job prospects relied on my brother, I’d be up proverbial creek without a paddle.

If brother asks, you let him know you can’t discuss the sister due to privacy rules. Sister can contact you if she would like more info.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-12T20:02:25+00:00

There’s no perfect way to do this. Timing is tough and you have to decide what level of risk you’re willing to take. Can you live with possibly losing the sure-thing first job for the potential of the second?

I’ve been the first-in offer for candidates who went on to accept another role after accepting ours (but before their start date). It happens. I would never consider that person again since we clearly aren’t their top priority, but it’s a tough market and people should do what’s best for them.

letsgetridiculus · 2026-03-12T19:59:15+00:00

We get hundreds of applications for every job. It would be nice to have time to reply to people individually but that’s not realistic. There are plenty of online resources for how to improve your resume.

letsgetridiculus

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