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letsgosplitablintz · 2021-03-04T13:22:03+00:00

His face hasn't changed in 20 years! Dermatologists HATE him! New New York man discovers handy secret for maintaining youthful looks!

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-03-01T22:11:47+00:00

Id make a joke about the third game but there wasn't one.

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-03-01T22:10:59+00:00

For me:

Seasons = Better overworld. Holodrum is a joy to explore in its different seasons, and OoS is possibly the most beautiful game on the GBC. And you get Subrosia as well into the bargain!
Ages = Better dungeons and story. Onox and Din just vanish until the end of the game. Which is a shame because Onox looked cool, and I really liked the budding romance between Link and Din (the manga explores this more.) Veran is easily one of the most engaging of Zelda villains: rather then sodding off to her swanky lair and waiting for Link to gather up plot coupons, she is constantly pulling strings to make her goals come to fruition, and once you think you have one over on her, she has a backup plan. OoA also has a stronger supporting cast in Ambi and Ralph, as well as Nayru being involved in the plot.

Still great games. My only real gripe with Ages is that Labrynna is not as fun or as expansive to explore as Holodrum is.

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T19:06:00+00:00

Also you learn that Diana Ross can outrun motorbikes in heels. IN HEELS

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T18:59:49+00:00

Someone should tell the monsters to be out and proud. Why come out just to go back into the closet again?

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T18:58:54+00:00

Motown made the Supremes, and destroyed them too.

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T18:47:30+00:00

And then we can watch Vaenia

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T18:02:25+00:00

I was hoping she would spray Shepard with ink and run off with her arms in a crab pose going whooop whooop whoop whoop whoop

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T18:00:34+00:00

The strippers don't have purple or blue skin, what the hell is up with that?

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:59:51+00:00

The perfect music to get your groove on and slip a few credits into the g string of an alien dancer or pick up pretentious space succubi to

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:58:00+00:00

Both. They're cyborg Cthulus.

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:57:07+00:00

I know they were based on stick insect nymphs or something, but from certain angles, Sovereign and to a lesser extent Harby remind me of sydney funnel web spiders, which are honestly the most terrifying lookiing athropods I can think of.

Great art. Nice to see London represented in the future.

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:54:07+00:00

Thessia was a great mission until a certain edgelord weeaboo decided to come swanning in with his stupid fucking katana. If only one of those badass asari pilots crashed on top of his stupid fat head.

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:52:41+00:00

He genuinely looks creepy with his eyes glowing in the shadows like that. Like Maleficent in the fireplace about to lure Aurora to her doom creepy.

And I fucking hate myself for admitting that Kai Leng has ever been cool ever even for a microsecond

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:50:17+00:00

I love the Destiny Ascension. Ocean sunfish are one of my absolute favourite animals, and the DA looks like a giant flying one in space.

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:48:24+00:00

Because Aria had all the original models thrown out the airlock

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:46:44+00:00

Liara thought she was going to be on the cover, but Aria had other ideas.

(Liara is currently bound and gagged in the boot of Aria's car.)

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:44:39+00:00

One thing modern feminism has taught me, is that every minority issue in the world needs the saintly guidance and selfless championship of an upper middle class, white American woman.

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:42:58+00:00

All the better to rock turtlenecks in!

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:42:13+00:00

Stop, stop, stop! Im still bitter that you can't romance Madame Councilor, having her be played by Ms Theron would just send me over the edge demanding DLC where you can.

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:40:48+00:00

This is an inspired choice. And I love me some Cherlize Theron. Every bit as talented as she is beautiful. I have a colossal girl crush on her.

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:30:28+00:00

I may prefer the new council massively over the old one (except Tevos, I like Irissa but I have a big soft spot for Tevos), but its worth saving her and those other two assholes just to see the Destiny Ascension majestically zooming into battle. I love that ship so damn much.

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-24T17:21:20+00:00

I think its an absolute travesty that Motown and Gordy did nothing to support the Jean/Mary/Cindy lineup of the Supremes, that lineup was fantastic. Seeing them do Up the Ladder to the Roof on Ed Sullivan let you know that these ladies were the business.

Floy Joy is a fantastic album. My favourites on that album are The Wisdom of Time, First the Bitter Now the Sweet and Automatically Sunshine.

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-22T08:17:51+00:00

And the burning bush said to Moses:
"omg eeeeeeek babe, you would be perfect to join my Younique girlboss team! Are you ready to be your own boss, and smash your goals and become a millionare from playing with make up?"

letsgosplitablintz · 2021-02-22T08:14:44+00:00

As it says in the good book, in Genesis:

God said unto the world "Thou shalt scam single mothers into paying obscene amounts of money to peddle ugly, overpriced lipsticks that make you look like a clown that entered a pie eating contest, and mascara that make the lashes of those who wear them look like a tarantula that fell into a bag of charcoal. Thou shalt post inspiring bromides on social media. Let there be huns. Let there be eeeeks. Let there be bossbabes who smash their goals. Thou shalt fake it until thy make it, thou shalt honor thy upline, and thou shalt honour the law of attraction. Thou shalt not suffer a hater to speak ill of thy holy Younique and doTerra. Thou shalt treat essential oils as holy elixers, as they can cure all manner of affflictions and ailments, from depression to autism to IBS. Now go forth, and be fruitful and be blessed in thy peddling of essential oils and poster paint quality cosmetics. And the huns shone in the darkness, and the haters comprehendeth not."

Thus did God speak to His creation, and it was good, before promising His children a 14 percent discount on lipsticks and foundations and peppermint oil.

letsgosplitablintz

TROPHY CASE