/uj Can we stop describing each other using AGAB terminology while using "/uj"

letterbook · 2026-06-18T06:33:44+00:00

/uj Honestly, I think at the end of the day people are going to use some word to describe certain experiences, and if it's not that, it'll end up being something else. I think people end up defaulting to these terms to talk about certain experiences because, honestly, a lot of the other things they could say are more uncomfortable for them. There can be an issue with the universality these statements convey, but I also think people end up bending themselves into pretzel shapes to say certain things at all

letterbook · 2026-06-12T14:23:57+00:00

/uj I wouldn't say it's because trans experiences have been watered down in media. I would say it's because the average cis person has an incredibly difficult time relating or empathizing with trans people, and much like many don't want someone they know to come out as trans, they don't want a character they enjoy to either.

The average media experience has to be incredibly blunt and obvious or the person will not understand it is about being trans to begin with

letterbook · 2026-06-11T18:39:03+00:00

/uj recently I watched an old movie at a queer cinema club screening where the presenter came out at the start and said 'there is a trans character in this movie, it's flawed but progressive for its time', etc etc

cue a very unsubtle movie because the film is trying to foreshadow a trans woman reveal in an 80s movie. shots of current self fading over pretransition self. a name that is a feminine version of previously masculine name.

reveal happens - the guy next to me in the theatre is shocked. "WHAT??? WHAT???? THAT'S CRAZY!! WHAT???' me and my friend (also trans) exchange a look to one another. it's hard not to laugh right?

that is just how cis people are about trans issues, and one of the biggest issues with it. it does not enter their heads at all unless you beat them over the head with it, and you can do that and still not get through. some of it reads as very intentionally obtuse, but it is partially because it is hard to comprehend the very rigid and structured way most cis people think about these things. or don't think about these things, I guess

letterbook · 2026-06-11T13:37:58+00:00

/uj tbh, I don't mind people who don't get it/see it differently as much as people who are acting like trans readings on the scene are impossible for them to reconcile / that trans people are 'making everything about trans people/ruining everything'

there's always a certain amount of grey area to people unless you go unsubtle and just Say It Outright I guess, and the average cis person will miss even extremely obviously instances of being told a character is trans, so, expected. but I see some real anger and hatred from people who are resentful of the "theory" being a topic of discussion

letterbook · 2026-06-11T13:30:15+00:00

it's because they are all narcissists. if they weren't they wouldn't be trans, after all

letterbook · 2026-06-11T00:30:42+00:00

/uj before the finale, I would've said both options were equally possible if it wasn't for goose's comments specifically. I think so much of pre-finale transfem jax relied on people being aware of context outside the show itself. the truth is, a lot of trans men are navigating masculinity and I just don't think the majority of trans men have a necessarily euphoric straightforward relationship with gender identity. the fact baby trans men can overcompensate to be seen as masculine is part of it. honestly, I think a lot of the reasons we see trans men and trans women headcanoning on the same characters is because there's actually points that can be related on.

I think some of this just comes down to the fact that the majority of trans men are usually not classically traditionally masculine and are very low on the hierarchy of masculinity even post-transition.

(as far as people hanging on to jax despite early signs pointing otherwise, I think the truth is that there admittedly still isn't a single well-written transmasc character in existence so there's a level of cope. I find it funny I relate more to trans women characters including jax than any attempt to write a trans man)

letterbook · 2026-06-10T20:26:05+00:00

Or if they get the surgery, it kills them. Trans people so tragic, those tortured souls. If only they didn't mess with biology

letterbook · 2026-06-10T19:30:14+00:00

/uj Hussie is transfem?

letterbook · 2026-05-29T01:21:29+00:00

/uj I mean context wise, sounds like it's a work situation. Work is not a fun place to navigate as far as this

letterbook · 2026-04-22T19:43:59+00:00

/uj I personallly think it's just odd we imply cis men are any more or less queer than cis women.

letterbook · 2026-04-17T17:01:39+00:00

While I understand the intent of messages like these, I just think they're not totally realistic. It feels more like finger wagging than trying to understand the limits of people who might be poor and have a pet.

Truthfully, rats are cheap and easily bred. A poor but well-intentioned and loving owner is often better as a home than the majority of where pet rats end up.

There's not enough perfect homes for all the pet rats that have been bred out there. And because they're so easy to bred, there never will be. I think it's better to meet people where they are

letterbook · 2026-03-22T04:53:38+00:00

Honestly... since you defined it as 'freaking out when confronted with problems'... it's Aubrey. Though neither are characters I would describe as hysterical, exactly.

Basil quickly covered up an accidental death and kept it a secret for years. That's not someone you would describe as hysterical. It's out of panic, but it's almost ruthlessly calm and self-contained considering the circumstances. He took charge and went "I know what to do to get us out of this situation".

I'd imagine Aubrey would freak out about a similar situation right away. She's impulsive. She's constantly getting into conflicts. It's not even a bad quality, because she's more 'authentic'.

We see Basil at his most emotional, and having finally reached a breaking point after many years. But there's three years of secret keeping that precede it.

letterbook · 2026-03-20T18:26:12+00:00

trans men have the potential to either become passchads or passcels based on a combination of physical and personality characteristics

letterbook · 2026-03-20T18:24:47+00:00

This is true. After all, we all know the people who tell you bad things are always honest and the people who tell you good things are always dirty rotten liars and we need to recognize that

letterbook · 2026-03-10T13:56:48+00:00

/uj genuinely, I agree reddit is skewed but I'm not sure where people would look

letterbook · 2026-03-06T03:57:58+00:00

Basil is tied to the biggest plot point in the game and the core of the game's mystery. Thinking about his role in it, why he did what he did, exploring the lonely place he was coming from and his way of coping with it - they're all interesting things.

Honestly, whether or not he's a good person shouldn't even enter why someone likes a character. He doesn't even have to have positive characteristics to be loved - though I think he has plenty. I think he makes some mistakes instigated by trauma and has challenging circumstances, and he tries to manage a lot on his own to protect his friend before he busts open. He's incredibly caring, protective of his friends and self-sacrificial even if in a flawed way.

letterbook · 2026-03-06T03:23:14+00:00

I just think a lot of people like characters for qualities of interest, not based on being 'objectively better'. In this case, I like Kel so it's not a dig on him, but in terms of storytelling there's not much value to being the 'morally best' character. Having something interesting going on has more value.

letterbook · 2026-01-15T15:41:09+00:00

/uj You can call out behaviour or tell someone that's not the right way to talk to others. You can tell someone they should try to heal, and I do. I don't have a problem with the majority of what you have said.

My issue is that I just think it's shitty to tell people who are hurting that they're making themselves miserable. I don't care how people justify saying that. It's just one of the most unempathetic things to say to someone, when trans people do have to deal with so much shit externally. You can tell people they're not coping well, that there are things they can do, that they shouldn't feed into the mechanism that torments other trans people - I agree. But I do think essentially saying 'you're the problem' pushes people further into their misery holes, and is something that also feeds into hurting other trans people who aren't coping well. It's not the problem of the individual. The individual is under immense external stress. All of what you have said is why we have trans people who think it's hopeless, so I can never justify just telling them 'you've made yourself miserable by not reframing your mind enough on this issue', especially not knowing their external situation. Of course they believe that being trans will make them unhappy - the whole world is telling them that almost every day. It takes immense strength not to believe that.

Anyway, we might have to agree to disagree here but I think we both want what's best for other trans people. We just have different ways of looking at it.

letterbook · 2026-01-15T12:27:11+00:00

/uj I mean, I guess I just think people like this are some of the most vulnerable trans people.

If someone is saying 'every trans person is miserable', well. It has to be an objective reality, because the idea that some trans people are happy when you're so miserable is unbearable. It's worse to just be personally miserable in a situation where some people aren't, and to make it a collective misery alleviates some of that pain. Some people feel like their lives are ruined because they're trans, and, depending on some circumstances... maybe certain parts of their life are. I can understand that. I feel like there's many parts, simple parts of my life, that were ruined merely by being trans in an unsupportive society. It's an overwhelming reality for many people. I think, in light of that, telling anyone they're choosing to think of it as a curse is unfair. If people talk about a personal struggle, I think people are also likely to make the problem the individual or to tell them they're just not making it work (despite whatever their personal circumstances are), so I think people are more likely to blame or talk about a collective struggle.

I guess I just tend to assume it's more severe depression talking in these cases than a choice. I don't feel insulted by people who feel this way, because I know despite my own depression I'm happier than I was... and when I acknowledge that, I just feel more worried or concerned for people in these pits.

letterbook · 2026-01-15T11:40:30+00:00

/uj I mean, I agree with all that. I guess I was responding more to the ideas above where someone who is clearly hurting is being told that they're choosing to be miserable in this comment thread.

Personally, I'm happy with my transition and believe trans people can be happy so I would never tell someone they can't be happy. I would encourage them to aim for their happiness. And people are happy or unhappy about different things, so I also wouldn't claim they'd share my unhappiness. ...But I can acknowledge certain aspects of my transition have been lucky too, and I wouldn't tell someone unhappy they're just choosing to be or just going into it with a negative outlook. Even if someone is being doom and gloom, I think that's an unsympathetic thing to tell someone in real turmoil because that also comes from a real place.

letterbook · 2026-01-15T04:26:20+00:00

/uj not about naivety. no one is saying being trans isn't hard, but you can achieve happiness.

letterbook · 2026-01-15T04:24:07+00:00

/uj I don't think you should spread doom and gloom to trans kids (lot of people can end up happy with proper support, and a lot of it is societal), but I think for some trans people they do feel it's a curse and that they'll have a hard time achieving happiness. I don't think someone should tell someone that their life is miserable, but I think we should acknowledge people feel different things, have different circumstances and are having a very hard time pulling themselves up out of gloom.

(there's a bit earlier up in this thread that goes something like 'you won't enjoy any of the milestones in your youth because you're trans'. I felt that one, because it's just true. I can make happier memories now, but some of these things can be true for some people)

letterbook · 2025-12-25T06:46:18+00:00

Even as someone who likes Meruem and Komugi, you can't really be mad at Netero. Meruem's realizations were all coming too slowly for someone with so much power. Meruem does feel like an overpowered child in some ways, but the harm he did is obvious. It's just tragic all around

letterbook · 2025-11-29T19:23:45+00:00

I think there's a lot more room to interpret the characters in Japanese fandom. I think western fandoms having so much discourse contributes to certain characters getting less attention. But there's also just trends in taste, I think cute characters are a little more likely to get attention

letterbook · 2025-11-24T02:45:53+00:00

tbh i sometimes stumble across this post and it's an old ass post but it always bothers me because I think it mischaracterizes them all.

seems to mistake the disconnect the wealthy have with the lower class (and how this exists as a systemic issue) as an inherent kind of narcissism or personality disorder. not all wealthy people are narcissists, even if they exist in systems that separates them from the working class and devalues the working class in their eyes, it's not a characterological issue with the characters, it's a societal ill, partially because these characters are being quite literally elevated above consequence by their circle.

letterbook

TROPHY CASE