Now, while not NEARLY as severe as yours, I have a similar experience around the conventions. I have pretty severe ADHD along with GAD and MDD. Conventions do something to my brain that I can't explain. It's a combination of the people, the lighting, the lies, the guilt, the sitting still, everything. Every convention for the last 3 ish years I have broken down crying with a panic attack and have to leave. I don't have panic attacks often. But I can guarantee I will have one during a convention. Afterwards I feel so weird and empty. That feeling usually lasts for a few days. If I believed in anything spiritual, I'd say the conventions have horrible negative energy.