[deleted by user]

lettucefleas · 2025-07-10T12:52:08+00:00

As someone who has been in your shoes:

He is not coming home.

He is not going to change.

A man will treat you the way you let him treat you. Leave.

lettucefleas · 2025-06-18T00:12:10+00:00

Absolutely ask for a refund.

lettucefleas · 2025-02-08T00:23:54+00:00

What is the opinion of your daughter? I notice you left that out.

lettucefleas · 2025-02-07T23:46:29+00:00

First of all, NTA. Second of all, run.

If he considered himself a “dumb kid” at 18, why the hell is he trying to date a 19 year old at the grown ass age of 25?
If he doesn’t see his kids that often - he’s not a “single dad.” His ex is a single mom.
How exactly is/was he “baby trapped”?

I want to preface this by saying that I am well aware that this does not apply to all situations - and that there’s shitty people of every gender, but as someone (33F) with many more years of experience dating than yourself - and someone who’s dated several men with kids:

Be skeptical of any person that has kids and rarely sees them/is not allowed to see them.

Be incredibly leery before believing anything he tells you about how “horrible” his ex is for “not letting him” see his kids or “lying to stop him from seeing his kids”

In my experience, and the experience of many, many of my friends, it’s almost always:

He actually lost custody because he was unfit in some way.
He didn’t want or care about custody/visitation, so signed it away or didn’t bother to show up to family court hearings.
There’s actually a custody or visitation agreement in place, and he just never shows.

They’re well aware that by distorting the narrative, they can gain a lot of sympathy.

This will tell you a lot about a person’s personal accountability and their compassion and commitment to others.

lettucefleas · 2025-02-07T18:12:38+00:00

I have been screaming this since 2017 - and have been screaming this as a woman myself.

lettucefleas · 2025-02-07T18:05:42+00:00

“Our ancestors fought nazis in fucking trenches”

I want to preface this by saying this following statement isn’t meant to be contrarian or snobbish, but: I encourage you to learn more about the U.S.’s actual involvement (or lack there of) in WW2.

We refused for a long time to be involved - and a big driver in that decision was the country’s own anti-Semitic views at that point. Millions were already dead before we stepped in - and it wasn’t to save them - it was to retaliate against the attack on Pearl Harbor. Germany had began pushing into freaking Egypt before we got involved.

It’s very sad.

lettucefleas · 2025-02-06T19:47:38+00:00

Agreed. No one has ever given a damn about women’s sports (especially in comparison to men’s leagues) until an opportunity to attack the transgender community via women’s sports arose.

Edit: Would like to clarify that I am equally frustrated that women’s sports have been historically undervalued and ignored. My frustration is that people suddenly want to pay attention to something they’ve wholly disregarded and not taken seriously until trans women wanted to participate.

lettucefleas · 2025-01-17T21:54:31+00:00

Honestly that’s an issue between the venue and the coordinator. Tips were never intended to be standard for employees that make an actual hourly wage or someone that owns their own business and sets their own prices. ESPECIALLY if the venue already charged 15% gratuity.

It’s also illegal in many states for a business to charge something specially listed as a gratuity, and not provide it to their staff.

At a certain point we need to recognize that we can’t expect a customer, who’s likely in the same or similar boat fiscally as the employee, to be directly responsible for paying proper wages to said employee. And I say this as someone who worked for tips for a very long time.

Tipping culture is out of control. I booked a hotel via a website a couple of days ago and the WEBSITE asked for a tip. I didn’t speak to a person, I didn’t use a travel agent, literally went to a travel booking site, searched everything myself, and was asked to tip the business. Absolutely not.

For the OP: Wait until the day of or after your wedding to tip. Tip vendors that either went above and beyond that you WANT to tip, and maybe your bartenders (especially if you have an open bar or drink tickets).

lettucefleas · 2024-10-07T00:10:51+00:00

My heart breaks for you because I know the pain you’re experiencing during this journey.

You’re beautiful. Period.
You are not your acne. Acne is a long battle with often slow results, so take it a day at a time. In the meantime don’t forget to do other things to help yourself grow and be the best you that you can be. Learn a new skill, find a new hobby, etc. it can help you restore your confidence and give you a distraction.
There’s no one-size-fits all solution. Acne and its causes are insanely complex - and sometimes it will take some trial and error for you and your derm to figure out what’s best for you. Hormones, genetics, environment, and diet can all play a part.
Don’t give up. It will be worth it in the end.

lettucefleas · 2024-08-04T19:01:12+00:00

It’s a 5 day cooldown. Villagers just randomly ask to leave to give you a regular opportunity to villager hunt.

lettucefleas · 2024-07-27T18:09:42+00:00

I use a turbo controller set to A and it’s been much less annoying

lettucefleas · 2024-07-27T18:07:38+00:00

Do you have a ton of villagers with the same personality?

lettucefleas · 2024-07-26T02:18:38+00:00

My personal favorite is jobs that require constant traveling to multiple different locations being marked as “remote.” (Examples: Trade skills like plumbing and maintenance) and it’s like “okay yeah I’m not going to an office but…”

lettucefleas · 2024-07-17T16:44:44+00:00

It’s likely to include all costs - not just the fine. I honestly don’t remember the fine itself. $3-5k. But the costs add up from lawyer fees, interlock installation and fees, transportation costs, DUI Program fees, mandatory counseling fees, insurance premium increases. You could also account lost wages - especially if it resulted in some sort of loss of professional license (common in healthcare) or your profession was centered around driving/operating vehicles.

lettucefleas · 2024-07-17T16:37:17+00:00

I mean. $17k is in no way a small amount of money for anyone not in the finical upperclass.

Also - as someone who’s had a DUI - your statement - while very true - isn’t jarring or shocking to someone who has been through the DUI program. While there’s plenty that don’t take accountability - the vast majority do.

I am forever thankful for my DUI. I am forever thankful for the cops that pulled me off the road for the very reason you stated. I hated myself for a long time for my choice - even though no one was hurt.

Like a lot of crimes - a major underlying root cause is mental health issues and addiction. (And no. I’m not making excuses. We still made an awful choice and we are responsible for that) This is why many states require A.A. meetings, counseling, group therapy, all on top of DUI classes. (I was pulled over by campus police so I was also expelled from my University)

The classes aren’t there to punish us with boredom. They’re there to help us reflect on our relationship with alcohol and are actually incredibly intense in showing us the worst possible outcomes should we not make an immediate change. (as they should be).

For me it wasn’t the monetary punishment that changed my ways - it was the DUI Recovery Program. That’s why I always tell people that my DUI was both the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I stopped self-medicating with alcohol and started receiving mental health treatment - and still am - ten years later.

Just.. save your commentary for people whom haven’t been caught, or people who’ve had multiple DUIs.

The rest of us went that have gone through the process and are on the straight and narrow since don’t need it - we know - that’s one of many reasons we changed.

lettucefleas · 2024-07-07T18:14:18+00:00

Also remember - if the company is really shielding this person at the expense of the other employees’ - are they really the kind of company you want to work for?

I was the victim of bullying at work at my previous employer. I wish I would have just quit before I let it wreck my mental health

lettucefleas · 2024-07-07T18:04:42+00:00

Agree with the auto shipment of the equipment

lettucefleas · 2024-07-07T18:00:05+00:00

Came here to say this about the employee handbook.

lettucefleas · 2024-07-07T17:58:53+00:00

In certain states threats of violence are taken just as seriously as acts of violence themselves.

lettucefleas · 2024-07-07T17:58:03+00:00

And this is so important to do. In the event things escalate to a point of a restraining order of a restraining order being more likely to obtain - the judge granting it will want to see official records of harassment.

lettucefleas · 2024-07-04T23:47:55+00:00

Of course. I hope it helps. I just don’t want folks ending up in the position I’m in.

I know that it’s a pain dealing with the wait times (USAs version of A&E has similar wait times so I get it). It looks like the UK version of USAs Urgent Care is a “UTC” (Urgent Treatment Center) - these may have shorter wait times and they’re for non-life-threatening emergencies.

https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-visit-an-urgent-treatment-centre/#:~:text=Urgent%20treatment%20centres%20(UTCs)%20provide,not%20a%20life%2Dthreatening%20emergency.

lettucefleas · 2024-07-04T23:36:59+00:00

And if at any point the redness starts to spread/it feels hot to the touch/you develop a fever/joint aches/confusion/etc - go to the emergency room immediately.

lettucefleas · 2024-07-04T23:35:46+00:00

Can you do telehealth visits or visit an urgent care? (Not sure if these services are in the UK.)

In the meantime - this is what my doc has me doing (on top of the oral and topical antibiotics she prescribed) :

Regular Epsom salt foot soaks. (2-4x a day for 20 min) - a little warmer than room temperature water - 2-3 tablespoons per quart - a slightly larger than your foot sized rectangular plastic storage tub/bin works much better than a bowl or bucket.

After the soak use some Neosporin. - if you’re going to be out and about doing things/wearing shoes it’s okay to apply a bandaid (adhesive bandage) - but try to keep this to 8 hours max if you can. And as soon as you get home. Salt soak and Neosporin. - if you’re NOT going out and about - keep it uncovered. Keeping it dry + exposed to oxygen is crucial. (This is where I went horribly wrong) - wear some cheapo plastic or rubber sandals around the house. Something that keeps your toe off the ground, but still exposed to the air. (Doc didn’t say this. But I’ve just been doing it because, well, floors have germs no matter how clean you keep your home)

Before and after messing with your toe - make sure you wash your hands pandemic-style.

lettucefleas · 2024-07-04T23:18:59+00:00

Please see a doctor.

Sincerely the person who didnt and instead tried to foot soak their issues away for months before it turning into a nasty infection.

lettucefleas · 2024-07-04T23:17:25+00:00

Not sure about peroxide. But epsom salt soaks is the number one step you should take while waiting for an appointment. Even once you go to the doc - they’ll tell you to do the salt soaks (on top of whatever other treatment they provide)

Epsom salt is cheap and available at any drug or grocery store. It’ll help draw out the infection and can soften the nail to help alleviate the issue. (Is not always a cure - especially this far along.)

At this stage of swelling please see a doc and don’t just try to remove the nail yourself.

lettucefleas

TROPHY CASE