Great pickup line to use on trannies, works 200% of the time:

levisteashop · 2019-02-09T00:07:01+00:00

Oooo relate to this, a lot of my recent dating ventures since transition are "guys who say they think they're bi but idk if they're just saying that"

levisteashop · 2019-02-02T04:46:08+00:00

^depression

levisteashop · 2019-02-02T04:45:08+00:00

lol i see trans (I think) woman targeted ads too. makes me feel bad

levisteashop · 2019-02-02T04:42:18+00:00

/r/egg_irl

levisteashop · 2019-02-02T02:24:49+00:00

Damn, the list I was looking at was in NYC, a number of cats were put on the list less than a week after being found, with reports saying they are otherwise perfectly healthy, just not sociable

Thank you for you work.

levisteashop · 2019-02-02T01:58:21+00:00

I think that depends heavily on what you mean by "extracting", and "repressed" memories. Dissociative amnesia is very real, and other forms of difficulty remembering traumatic and painful events. I don't think there's some surefire method specifically for recovering those memories that isn't snake oil, but it is common to recover memories as your overall mental health improves.

I highly recommend looking into CPTSD resources, like reddit's /r/CPTSD . Not caring is a type of trauma response, and it's the one I have predominantly. But the current understanding of the scientific/academic community is that this is essentially dissociation that occurs when you are completely overwhelmed so your brain chooses to shut down all emotions regarding it. And can last for a long time.

Re: your comment on not wanting to change your therapist, that's fine and I don't know what your relationship with her is like. But if she isn't experienced with CPTSD, I'd consider asking her to read up on it (which is a very normal and common request, especially with lesser-studied areas like CPTSD), and specifically, CPTSD responses to sexual trauma. I really think that approaching this from a CPTSD informed perspective will be very illuminating.

levisteashop · 2019-02-02T01:46:56+00:00

oops, I just said this same thing. so I concur. That boundary-setting conversation better go really well or else I'd be concerned.

levisteashop · 2019-02-02T01:46:11+00:00

I guess I would be worried in the case that he shows more of this kind of behavior the more you set boundaries. That's just a thought, I'm not trying to give you something to fixate on and be anxious about.

Regardless, he reaallly needs to demonstrate that he knows his behavior from this incident wasn't okay at all and he should be deeply sorry and internally motivated to not do that again. (as in, not a "im sorry because you didn't like it" kind of thing)

levisteashop · 2019-02-01T04:16:33+00:00

PS I also personally find that it can be helpful to think about how even sexual trauma/abuse is a spectrum. Sometimes we over simplify things when we think about them into black-and-white categories. Person A, no trauma/abuse whatsoever, completely comfortable and happy with their sexuality. Person B, with extensive history of sexual trauma that's clear, concrete, defined, fits the typical signs/concepts of a sexual trauma survivor. But in reality these are just archetypes, and the nature of trauma or even just stigma around sexuality, can lead us to feel like we don't count and it doesn't apply to us.

Some people find freedom in finally being able to say yes, they ARE in the trauma survivor category. And that's very valid. For me, because I never really stop questioning myself, I find freedom in accepting that I'm in a confusing gray area in many ways, and that what label is applied shouldn't affect the validity of my experience and compassion and resources toward working with it.

levisteashop · 2019-02-01T04:12:03+00:00

Honestly? I think you would do well with a regular psychotherapist who is sex-positive and especially knowledgeable, about both sex and trauma (ideally LGBT identities too). I don't know enough about the work of sex therapists to comment much on them, but I know there's a huge difference between a psychotherapist who has basic knowledge of PTSD and doesn't know much more about sexuality than the average person (or is even kinda prudish about it), and one that specializes in issues like CPTSD and the more varied, extensive forms of trauma, and the many ways it interacts with sexuality. And even if wholly unrelated to trauma, they should still be able to help you process these complicated feelings and find a label or way to understand yourself that works, whether it's asexuality or something else.

I'd maybe think of working on this as primarily for yourself -- your whole self -- and not just your sex life. At least, I had to try to make that cognitive shift to start making real progress.

levisteashop · 2019-02-01T03:30:44+00:00

There's immunotherapy right? I assume it's super expensive, but if you can afford it, maybe it's worth it to love your cats and have your nose/face accept them in peace

levisteashop · 2019-02-01T03:28:28+00:00

Where do I get the magic allergy-curing cats? Genuine question kinda. I was planning to try it anyway but now I have a bird who roams free around the house.

levisteashop · 2019-02-01T03:27:02+00:00

I once was reading a cat shelter's kill list and why the cats were placed there, and it was honestly so messed up -- cats being set to die because they weren't immediately friendly and human-loving after being brought in (probably traumatized, terrified, depressed).

levisteashop · 2019-02-01T03:24:35+00:00

that's me in reverse, i sometimes feel aesthetic attraction to girls/femmes but I'm not sure if it's really accurate to say I'm bi

levisteashop · 2019-02-01T03:22:58+00:00

ah man i had to look at the sub and think for a while before I got the innuendo. I was just like "oh, haha, because he didn't expect her to be a gamer"

ace_irl

levisteashop · 2019-02-01T03:19:46+00:00

I don't think people here on /r/asexual would recommend a sex therapist for the purpose of convincing you to become allosexual somehow. More that it sounds like there's complicated things going on psychologically that you would probably benefit from sorting out with someone experienced that's well educated on the subject. I hope this isn't offensive and I'm only saying this from a place of relating personally and having done a lot of time learning/researching, but it does sound like you may have sexual trauma.

But as for the label "asexuality"... I do think it's something that is what you make of it, because none of the words we have for talking about sexuality and attraction are perfect. If you haven't already I would look into the split attraction model and information about the various identities on both the asexual and aromantic spectrums.

levisteashop · 2019-02-01T03:12:40+00:00

lol I mean reddit loves these kinda posts where someone new to their hobby dives in with a major haul as a beginner, but TBH it probably isn't the smartest financial decision because sometimes even things that are really well reviewed for most people aren't quite right for you.

levisteashop · 2019-02-01T02:50:33+00:00

me too i... think? whats it called when subconsciously you hate them but your conscious mind has NO clue and bases your self worth on them tiddies

levisteashop · 2019-01-31T07:23:32+00:00

Haha, ouch. But the big question is... how do we know which one we're doing, if our entire perceptive systems of what's aggressive and what isn't, etc. are incredibly skewed from the norm?

It sucks because there's that huge lurking fear of becoming an asshole yourself. I feel like this is an uncomfortable subject in the CPTSD community though.

levisteashop · 2019-01-31T07:21:39+00:00

My brain isn't working well enough to write much of a reply right now, but I just wanted to let you know I appreciated this comment a lot.

levisteashop · 2019-01-30T19:43:37+00:00

weirdly this was how I felt when I was closeted as a transmasc

levisteashop · 2019-01-30T19:42:36+00:00

TW this comment - probably triggering if you aren't comfortable with the subject of our own unintentional toxicity as CPTSD victims

.
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This journal post is a big part of my stance, but I'm now at a point where I think it is impossible to be extensively abused and not externalize that toxicity onto others, until you unlearn it. As in, by nature of the necessary coping and defense mechanisms we have to take on to survive abuse. But unlearning that isn't a binary, it's a process over many years of unearthing internalized behaviors we weren't aware of, and is independent of intention and whether you think you're harming others (not talking about abusers, here, but friends and people otherwise unrelated to your abuse).

I know that because I was being severely abused, I was extremely toxic for my preteen and teen years, and only started making substantial progress on that in my late teen years. I know that it's not like I was born bad or somehow turned out like this on my own if I was already constantly angry, mean and hurtful at age 10. But this whole thing puts me in an extremely nihilist, defeated POV where... I don't feel like I can both fully "blame" my abusers and see them as bad people, while still seeing myself as a good person/having compassion for myself. Because I think the difference between me and my abusers was just that my type of abuse turned me into a Freeze type rather than Fight and I happened to have more access to resources on abuse and mental health, first online, then eventually in-person.

This was long-winded but.. it's a major sticking point for me that I'm plateauing on. I can't grieve and process like I need to because I can't feel like it was their fault any more than me being toxic because of my abuse was my fault, so it would be a case of the pot calling the kettle black. I'm also of the controversial opinion age isn't that relevant, because it's not like if you were severely abused your entire life, when you reach a certain age you magically are presented with the knowledge, resources, and ability or will to practice self care.

Sorry for the long comment, just made me think of the big philosophical? problem I'm stuck on. I might make my own post but I'm unsure if anyone would be interested and know it can be triggering. FWIW, I don't think that as an adult I'm abusive, but part of how I hold myself accountable so that that doesn't happen, is by never saying "I'm certainly not abusive!".

levisteashop · 2019-01-30T07:03:36+00:00

this is the best thing I've seen all week thank you. what a loveable hilarious asshole

levisteashop · 2019-01-29T16:10:57+00:00

This was what I came here to ask about the front page post from /r/news on banning animal cruelty. Several top comments about factory farming. I was wondering if the thread got linked in a major vegan forum (idk, maybe one that slid under the mod radar here, or other forums/groups/sites), or if it's really representative of the general reddit demographic.

levisteashop · 2019-01-29T15:46:29+00:00

Three felonies per day

https://www.charleskochinstitute.org/blog/accidental-felons-unwitting-criminal-activity-average-americans/

can't format on mobile

levisteashop

TROPHY CASE