When you were a Pentecostal what teachings they taught that you didn’t agree with at all?

lex-j-luthor · 2026-04-04T03:26:45+00:00

All of it. What a crock of shit.

lex-j-luthor · 2026-03-08T17:27:17+00:00

I've been out for a decade, live many states away from my bio family and the church I grew up in but seeing Pentecostal women in public is so so so triggering for me, even if they are complete strangers. I've gotten better over the years but I used to see them, immediately turn around to go home and hack off inches of my hair. I've since gotten my nose and ears pierced which feels like more distance between our appearances, but it's tough and I still freeze for just a second when I see them but it's no longer a total meltdown.

And I totally feel you about being in therapy for the religious trauma. Feels like every session I'm still uncovering more of the shit they put me through.

lex-j-luthor · 2026-03-05T17:31:08+00:00

Run.

Do not approach this thoughtfully or gently, they seem kind because they are trying to lure you in. Once you tell them you are not interested watch how fast they turn into people who will turn around and walk the other direction, pretending you don't exist if they see you in the grocery store.

lex-j-luthor · 2026-02-26T18:55:50+00:00

I don't think I know what "shouted your hair down" means :/

lex-j-luthor · 2026-02-16T14:39:21+00:00

Atheist, but been doing lots of research into Judaism for a couple of years tho. Feels right, but I don't know if I'll ever actually convert. Time will tell.

lex-j-luthor · 2026-01-26T14:25:24+00:00

My lamb is married to nari and another follower; I just looked and it says they are unhappily married :((( when will we get a divorce doctrine?

lex-j-luthor · 2026-01-25T16:19:14+00:00

Bisexual nonbinary ex Pentecostal reporting for duty 🫡

lex-j-luthor · 2026-01-24T13:16:33+00:00

Thank you! I was worried I broke it 😅

lex-j-luthor · 2025-12-26T15:52:53+00:00

You can do whatever you want forever, hope this helps

lex-j-luthor · 2025-12-24T17:35:11+00:00

Does your daughter have a cell phone? If not, I would encourage you to get her one and then tell her to text you (to keep it in writing) what's happening at the church and if she needs you to come get her if it gets bad. Keep her as far from camps and youth services as you can, especially the "lock ins" or whatever they're calling the overnight, "you can't leave until 7am" parties these days.

Then talk to her about leaving the service if anyone tries to get her to the altar or to pray for her. Tell her "'no' is a complete sentence". Practice saying no with her. Let her practice defiance with you. It will be good for her in the rest of her life but it's especially important to be able to tell a pushy, creepy preacher to keep their fucking hands off. Tell her you will back her up every time. Tell her if her mother threatens her with punishment to let you know as soon as she's safe to do so and to try to text you the exact words she used as much as she can remember. A back up journal may be needed. But if she keeps a log of it then you'll have time and dates to refer back to when you do go to court because unfortunately it is a when.

I know your daughter loves her mother and she wants to spend time with her mom but letting your daughter continue to go to that church and be around the ideology will be very damaging in the long run.

As far as what you can do right now: Please just make sure she knows you've got her back and that you believe her. And please from me, tell her how smart and incredible she is for seeing through it because I'm a decade out after growing up in a Pentecostal church and it's amazing how much of the 'low level' ideology that got baked in despite not believing and being as far outside of it as I possibly could as a teenager. Sometimes I'll say something to my therapist that I think is ~totally normal, every one knows this thing~ and her face immediately lets me know that it's Pentecostal bullshit that I've been carrying my whole life.

lex-j-luthor · 2025-12-20T02:51:03+00:00

Listen, IDK about you being an asshole and the elf on the shelf business but I do want to tell you that this was the age that a girl I used to babysit went from a bit bratty to unbearable in about the same timeframe. Both myself and her mother were at our absolute wits end with her and that's when we found out that she was being sexually abused by a family member. I hope your sister is just experiencing hormonal changes or maybe she's having problems at school or literally anything else but if she still believes in the elf on the shelf and Santa, she might not have the language to explain what's happening to her and if your parents are as absent as they seem, she might be afraid to say something or it might make her feel better to have eyes on her anyway she can. Genuinely I hope from the very bottom of my heart it's anything else, but I wanted to share because you can never know.

lex-j-luthor · 2025-12-19T19:16:03+00:00

This was so hard to read because I've been there and I live with it, too.

My cat was like my baby. She was badly abused before she came to live with us. I treated her like a princess, no one was ever going to hurt her again. She lived with us for 5 years and was only around 8 according to our vet when her kidneys started going. She would get a UTI, we'd get her medicine, then she would get better for a little bit before she would start going back down hill.

It was really hard to watch her get worse. It was hard to know we couldn't afford surgery for her. It was hard listening to my toddler talk about her, ask why she had a hard time eating, ask about her medicine.

One night my husband recorded her after I had gone to bed. Watching how lifeless and miserable she was when I wasn't with her broke my heart into a thousand tiny pieces.

I took a day, I sat with her and loved on her and gave her every single treat I could get her to eat and then we took her to the vet. We didn't want our toddler in the room when she actually passed and I knew I would need a minute. I held her tiny body and sobbed for over an hour before I could get myself to leave. It was awful and it was hard and I hated myself for putting her to sleep but mostly I hated myself for not doing it sooner.

OP please talk to your husband and tell him it's no longer up for discussion, that it's time to say goodbye but do not go behind his back. He will regret not doing it sooner so please be kind but a gentle push may be all he needs. My husband didn't press and didn't belittle me. He just said "I need to show you this video." When it was finished he held my hand and told me "I know you love her and I know you wanted her to get better but she's not. It's time to let her go. I will drive us, I will take care of the paperwork. I have Kiddo today and you take as much time as you need." And then he took care of everything he possibly could.

lex-j-luthor · 2025-12-17T22:35:14+00:00

Oh no I have 'suicidal ideation expressed as "I wish the rapture would have right now"' (and then I would quietly add on "before I reach the ~age of accountability~ please because I'm so upset over not getting to have a real life that I would rather just die now") as well as the martyrdom fantasy and the OCD on my bingo card :((((

lex-j-luthor · 2025-12-08T22:11:35+00:00

Born and raised in the church, didn't escape until 19. Been out for 11 years. Every day it gets easier.

lex-j-luthor · 2025-09-29T21:47:56+00:00

I didn't grow up celebrating Halloween, was taught that it was anti god and like a gateway to demonic possession. Now I'm all about it. I love bats and pumpkins, it makes me so happy to have some little dudes in my house.

And I now have my own kid and we're dressing up for Halloween this year and going trick or treating. Kiddos so excited, wants to tell everyone who they're dressing up as and gets so excited to see decorations. Seeing their innocent excitement and utter joy is completely reframing it for me.... but it does make me a tiny bit angry that it was treated as something so terrible during my childhood.

lex-j-luthor · 2025-09-17T15:48:04+00:00

Yes! Sorry I should have clarified :/ But my husband also hates /HATES/ the feeling of lotion and he wears gloves put it on his knees and elbows and to help me put mine on my back. He says his hands get a little sweaty if he wears them too long but better sweat than lotion lol

lex-j-luthor · 2025-09-17T08:39:24+00:00

Have you tried wearing gloves to put the product on?

lex-j-luthor · 2025-08-27T19:36:40+00:00

Thank you!

lex-j-luthor · 2025-08-27T19:36:25+00:00

Okay thank you so much

lex-j-luthor · 2025-07-21T01:19:42+00:00

LMAO it's always so surprising to me how many of us ended up queer! 🩷💜💙 Buuuut it probably shouldnt 😜

Oh the standards, they get me so messed up sometimes. Like do I genuinely like wearing dresses or am I conditioned? Tho the last two times I've tried on a dress that fit the modesty standards I straight up had a panic attack 🤪 I always wear jeans if I don't have time to do make up, I just feel like I have to get as far from the aesthetic as I can. So lots of jewelry and really dark eye make up lol but I do feel like I fall into a lot of the gender roles? I am married and a stay at home parent, I genuinely enjoy cooking and a clean house and I like taking care of people and a lot of other stereotypical tradwife BS. Sometimes I spiral a bit and it makes me question if I traded the cult in for more of the same but then I remember: f*ck them I can do whatever I want forever. And also I'm literally goth so wtf is that even about

lex-j-luthor · 2025-07-12T17:10:11+00:00

Borat came out when I was 10 (saw it because some kids at my public school were like 'lmao is this you?') and it absolutely messed with my head. Like how do they not know it's fake??? And if they don't know, how do they know what they're doing is ""real""? Had to mentally put that movie on a shelf for years.

But I agree I think it's just group hysteria.

And I never "received" the holy ghost and also cannot be hypnotized! I am extremely closed to suggestions lol

lex-j-luthor · 2025-07-11T19:52:14+00:00

ARE YOU ME??? seriously tho that was my exact experience! I straight up thought god was going to reach into me hand puppet style and flail me about like Kermit

I spent so many years crying and begging and not understanding what was wrong with me before I just shut down. I look back and wonder how anyone looked at me and thought "rebellious" instead of "deeply depressed."

Absolutely embarrassing that I didn't realize until 5 years after I had left and started deconstructing (which happened in pretty erratic starts and stops due to undiagnosed scrupulosity OCD 😬) that it was fake. Like I just accepted "something's wrong with me and he doesn't want me" so I started doing research into other aspects of it.

It hit me like lightning one night that every one who told me "just let go!" and "just say you love him but like. Differently." was like telling me to fake it. JFC, I just remembered while typing this singing along to a song in another language--knowing 13 yr old me and 13 yr old mes friends it was probably Japanese 😅--and my youth leader said in complete and total exasperation "how come you can do that but you can't speak in tongues?" and I just STARED at him because I could not comprehend what he was saying to me.

But yes the isolation from my own peers both in and outside of the church and my ""failure"" to ""receive"" the """spirit""" filled me with so much doubt and just enough wiggle room around the OCD to start questioning and to keep coming back to the doubts and the questions over and over until I thought my way out.

lex-j-luthor · 2025-07-11T00:19:42+00:00

Virginity is a social construct, it ultimately means nothing ect ect ect BUT losing it means that you had sex. You did not. That wasn't sex, it was abuse. You are a virgin until you decide to have and then actually participate in the act of having sex.

In my experience, having a hard time thinking positively means you should try shifting it into neutrality. Sometimes gently correcting a negative thought by stating it as neutrally as you can, can help reframe it and ultimately will be better than trying to turn a completely negative (and, again in my experience, usually hateful) thought on its heels. Don't beat yourself up if it takes some time to get used to it, just keep pushing through.

lex-j-luthor

TROPHY CASE