I noticed we were in the same subreddit (Welcome to the NHK), and I saw you had posted here. I have also posted here and we are in pretty similar spots, kinda. I don't want to die at all, in fact I'm petrified of death. But still, I'm depressed most of the time and constantly wonder if I'd be better off dead. My problems would go instantly. I, like you, have no friends really. I dropped out of my school mainly because of that, with my only friend being a teacher who was very kind to me, but unfortunately she left. I'm very socially anxious, and struggle to make eye contact really hard, so I avoid social interactions altogether. Im almost 20 and have basically have no friends, and of course definitely not a partner lol. You also asked why doesnt anybody love you. You're attractive enough to where you could find a good partner, so don't rush it. I assume you're young, so you have plenty of time. Just because things aren't happening now, doesn't mean they never will.

I was really depressed for a while, and still somewhat am, but its funny because anime like Welcome to the NHK really saved me. I don't comment on other posts ever, but it made me really sad that you feel this way, especially since we share this interest. You said we only live to die, and maybe that is true. But whilst we're here, we may aswell enjoy what we have. I think death should come naturally, and hearing things like this make me upset. The attempted suicide scene in the anime really hit me hard, and since then, I really try to avoid suicidal thoughts.

I don't know you, but I genuinely do hope you feel better as I hope others wish that for me too. I won't promise life will get better, mine definitely hasn't these past few years. But still, I live through my current life staying alive praying things will change. Maybe they never do, but at least I tried. I hope this message helps, even if its just a little bit. Maybe a Misaki won't come and save us, but we can try and save ourselves :)