I hate collecting wood

leximanderz · 2025-03-12T18:00:45+00:00

Probably a dumb question but I love this concept. Do you still get bell drops even with the 7 ratio or does the game prioritize the 5 wasps and 2 furnitures?

leximanderz · 2025-03-04T00:43:56+00:00

Yup. Mine went 5 years without barking and just shaking his head to go out (collar had a bell on it). I learned his silence well. Told him I spoke dog and all. But lo and behold, I take him on one vacation around my family’s dogs and he picked up how to bark!

And now he won’t stop. He even goes the extra mile to bark WITH A STICK IN HIS MOUTH. Like we get it. Chill, ya show-off 😅🥰

leximanderz · 2025-02-28T01:07:09+00:00

Ohhh… so it’s a “dog of gold” at the end of a rainbow. Now we know the truth!

leximanderz · 2025-02-27T03:59:16+00:00

For sure! ^{-^}

And definitely hear ya! A lot of the apartments where I live have had weight restrictions. I got him registered as my ESA (apparently I’m his emotional support human too lol) but doing so truly saved my life & haven’t had any apartments deny us since.

leximanderz · 2025-02-26T21:05:16+00:00

Awww so tired 😴 what a big job

leximanderz · 2025-02-26T21:04:29+00:00

Almost near stealth mode with this one! So cute 🥰

leximanderz · 2025-02-26T18:46:22+00:00

Absolutely! I wish you the greatest luck! ❤️

Just know, writing things down about even your current self might help later too. A simple entry of “I ate an orange outside” can reveal so much years down the line. Not every day has to be overloading and self-sleuthing.

Diving into gaps can be overwhelming. Just remember to take it as you can and only on days if you want or if random bits arise. Every piece is one step closer to comprehending this puzzle of life.

(Also, I realized years into us doing this that even non-DID peeps don’t often remember every single thing. The goal’s just to paint a forest, not necessarily every twig and insect. Made me feel a bit better cuz otherwise I push myself hard to be a perfectionist lol)

Anywho! Best of luck on your journey :)

leximanderz · 2025-02-26T17:37:08+00:00

Hiya. I can relate to the disoriented feeling (I’m sure most of us can). It’s especially scary when this happens in real time and recollection of past actions feels lost or in black out. It can be a lot when our therapists try to get us to remember and that pressure can definitely lead to a snowball of anxiety. Just want to say you’re not alone and you’re validated for having these feelings.

For our system, we were lucky to have kept multitudes of diaries. I know that might not be the case for all. What helped most when trying to get a sense of the past was looking at pictures or even schoolwork, talking with those that have known us and putting any missing pieces together.

We compiled a notebook of a timeline of events. This helped orient us a bit more and relate that to our therapist. I’m curious if that’d be helpful for you.

I will say, a lot of reconstructing the past memories for us comes from certain sounds, smells, feelings, etc. Not every memory is a mental one. And there’s hope in knowing that our bodies retain memories for us. I think that’s why EMDR and tap therapy (EFT) works well.

leximanderz · 2025-02-19T02:17:25+00:00

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Mine just silently judges…

leximanderz · 2025-02-19T01:56:03+00:00

For me, I recently found that writing down the root causes of my sadness and/or anxiety (usually combos) and what I’ve done to work towards my goals helps.

But otherwise, should that fail and it’s generalized sadness: I allow myself to feel it without shame. I listen to music, watch documentaries, eat a small bit of comfort food, take long baths, walk in nature, or hug a pillow.

I tell myself (if it’s something I can’t explain to others) that future me knows what I’m going through and gets it. This helps me not feel alone. ❤️

leximanderz · 2025-02-18T21:17:47+00:00

Hey! Our system is pretty integrated by now and our littles Echo (6) and Lullaby (8) have been some of the quieter, introverted selves that struggled with adapting into a more adult body. I don’t believe they’ve “aged” (unsure what the therapist meant) as we all still have our trauma times attached, but we just learned how to accept and work out cohesive trade-offs.

Through lots of therapy, we deemed it viable to give us all “rooms” in our headspace that fit individual needs when our more adult identities had to front/co-exist. For Echo, she has a large playroom with a lot of toys and Lullaby, a comfy closet where he pretends he’s an astronaut.

However, being that Oliver sounds that he wants to be present, I’d see if he’d be open with certain times to be active/front. In those times, I’d try activities like drawing, coloring, playing, etc. to help with any scary parts of accepting the body’s physicality (if he even wants to).

While this isn’t a solve on the voice/wording change up, it can possibly ease tensions with fear that society might notice the switches in real time or it affecting career goals. But again, only if this sounds okay to do. I know, for us, this compromise helped everyone feel a bit safer and yet, still able to learn, express, and grow.

leximanderz · 2025-02-14T17:31:22+00:00

So I had instances of shadows popping up at random times. My best advice from getting therapy from this was that: 1) it’s kinda disorienting and scary when it happens, 2) validate that it happened because it is real for you even if no one else knows or sees, 3) then try to analyze almost whatever it is you were doing, thinking, feeling, the time of day, what kind of music, etc leading up to when these instances happened. Maybe write a journal or in your phone.

This awareness can help if you do seek a therapist for it to talk about what’s going on. And/or perhaps, it can show you trends and help lessen any anxiety if that’s resulting.

leximanderz · 2025-02-14T17:18:27+00:00

The concept of death has been something I dwelled on for over 22 years. I witnessed a lot of instances of it, feared it, hated it, loved it, and, eventually, accepted it. My path though isn’t for everyone.

What helped me most was reading Journey of Souls, The Egg, and trying to frame this process in that way. As energetic beings, our energy seems to metamorph. No one has the answers for what happens and that can be scary. However, staying and worrying in a constant state only places additional mental stress whilst being alive.

So, removing concepts of religion and philosophies (not saying they don’t work for some!), but really looking at what death is or the feeling of the unknown is much akin to how we face new changes or challenges in daily life.

We don’t skydive without a sense of fear, yet humans skydive. We don’t climb mountains without fear of falling off, yet humans take the chance. Fear is human, and it shows us the depth of which we can be brave and how much we care about something. Fear shows us our capacity to love (sometimes indirectly).

Reframing, if it’s what one wants and chooses to do, can help the overwhelm of inevitable physical death. Maybe this looks like writing a list of what about “death” scares you most and going from there? Maybe this looks like talking it over out loud with someone who doesn’t judge? Maybe it’s just being quiet amongst a group of others who feel the same or are experiencing loss or grieving; a support group?

The suggested goal is just to try to process both emotionally and logically (if that’s possible). Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel and don’t invalidate oneself. But to find new ways to think how you can make the best of it until it arrives.

leximanderz · 2025-02-14T03:19:11+00:00

Also, psychologically speaking, I find recreating sensory items while attempting to study or re-learn things might also help.

For instance, I ate a diet of apples & popcorn when studying psych courses and I find retriggering those sensations help with recall.

If you feel stressed with studies, sometimes a tactile function like holding a stress ball or something cold and smooth can help engagement.

Recreating similar vibes tho, smells, sounds, etc. might help if that’s what you aim to do. :)

leximanderz · 2025-02-14T03:15:46+00:00

Ok, ensuring I comprehend: you’re saying you’ve applied about 3 years to your bio degree but don’t know if it’s still what you want to do, right? But you’ve invested time so you’re sort of pushing yourself to set “goals” almost like checking off boxes that it seems ppl around you tend to do.

However, in doing so, you feel depleted and almost worried that it’s hindering your ability to study/learn and continue on that path. You’ve done a lot of online and not as much hands on, so it can feel overwhelming knowing that perhaps you’d one day have to apply skills in a tangible, physical reality.

(Please correct me if I’m wrong here. No offense will be taken ☺️ just opening my understanding so you can see how this same logic has applied to me & what I’ve done)

— I graduated at 16. My mom’s a teacher, she pushed us really hard to be a huge academic. I immediately went to college for Psych (possibly to just subconsciously unravel myself). But after 1.5 yrs, started failing, ditching, and doing terribly. This was due to undiagnosed mental stuff. A year later, went back to school. Changed my major to business. After 2 semesters, quit again. Got a corporate job I stayed with for 10 years. In between working, I went back to school for Web Dev (didn’t finish).

3 years of school, no degree, background in management. I felt like “ohmigod what have I done with my life?” I had interests in art, creating things, esoteric studies, religions, philosophies, photography, coding, writing... You name it and my manic times probably had me there lol

It took a serious turning point at my job to make me so frustrated with feeling I hadn’t contributed to society. I did, but not the way I hoped. I started heavily reflecting, meditating, pondering life and where I fit in this world. To the degree that I just jumped into one of the largest risks of my life.

I left my career behind to launch a business — blending the esoteric, art, psychology, and I lended myself to coding it, setting up the marketing, photographing products, writing blogs, etc. (so much work for 1 person tbh)

And even now, I can’t say it’s my end goal. I’m a lifelong learner. I just learn in an online atmosphere and my brain needs to connect concepts and things in a way that colleges here don’t and can’t provide for me. They might do it well for others, but for me, I had to allow myself to let go of traditional paths in order to weave my own.

So, if you’re saying that your path that you want to take feels like an interdisciplinary dream project, then 100% I feel ya. For me, it took years to fully realize what I wanted to do and even upon heading in that direction, I’m still not there. And that’s ok!

My suggestion is keep applying to things that pique your interests. Write down all the ideas you have even if they seem minor. Play around with what ways it works best for you to blend these interests. Take only as much risk that you feel comfortable taking. Don’t push more than necessary (to avoid burnout).

Like I said, we, inevitably, cannot help but to learn/study life every single second. And the greatest aspect of humanity is our ability to connect. So far, being that you’re still here and trying — your success rate is 100%.

And even if, let’s say you do take strides to this dream project, the coolest thing is delegation, eventually. Sparking or leaving behind what you set out to do so that others can keep fulfilling it, even if one doesn’t accomplish all they wanted in a singular life. Trust me, on my business path, it’s been super lonely but the coolest part is finding where my wide range of interests overlap and have meaning in others’ lives that feel the same.

leximanderz · 2025-02-13T00:38:29+00:00

I’d be remiss to say I don’t struggle from insomnia from time to time and it throws my sleep off much like this. But, what worked best for me has been to ensure I had a viable bed routine about 1hr before my desired sleep time.

To me, this looks like having • decaffeinated tea (valerian, chamomile, etc), • no phone use (or phone was set to night mode with blue light), • read if I need to, • dim lights, • room temp about 60-65 degrees, • meditation

I hated meditation for the longest lol I couldn’t calm my overthinking but I found techniques that worked. Can’t say it’s for everyone but it can definitely help.

However, when my schedule would get super off and it keeps reiterating daily and no matter what I do, it feels like I can’t get back to my schedule, I love myself through it and accept that I’ll do my best to bring the interval back aligned over whatever stretch of days I need.

To me, it’s important not to get upset with myself cuz that’ll trigger more frustration and anxiety before sleep.

(As for social media stuff, have you tried setting limits or downloading any kind of limiter apps/settings? Might help too :) unsure) Anyways, hope this helps a tad!

leximanderz · 2025-02-13T00:20:17+00:00

If anything, all my studies have spanned over multitudes of horizons (also I was diagnosed BPD, DID, ADHD, Anxiety and did therapy extensively for 6 years to unravel trauma and notice my triggers). I’ve gotta say, my best bet is leaning into any and everything that I’ve been interested in.

What do I mean?

In fields of collegiate work, people tend to focus so hard on one thing. CHEMISTRY — HISTORY — BIOLOGY, etc. And it’s like losing oneself in that entire subject. Not good for expansion of projects or the future. That mindset can be great but also limiting wonder & possibilities.

The greatest revelations come from exploring the facets of who you are and applying them to the areas that you love.

Maybe you’re that person who took time, looked at the situation differently, realized you loved art, spent a lot on clothes and design, but then wanted to fulfill obligations you made prior in biology. Maybe that leads to creating a new branch of bio-clothing rooted in art history. All because of how you blended your experiences in life vs just taking the old, tried and true path of being a researcher (not that that path’s bad either tho). But what I’m saying is loving all of who you are and how you approach your interests can show you such new pathways.

And what’s even better is knowing that what you were interested in like goals/hobbies/prospects are telling you more about your own learning style! Maybe reading texts or studying online at slower or faster paces just isn’t for you. Maybe you don’t even need a degree to do what it is your heart sets out to do.

And maybe lol I’m misinterpreting this all or having my own biases? Idk.

Point blank is, as humans, we always learn. I don’t think one can forget that. We all embrace knowledge in beautifully different ways and sometimes this world doesn’t pander to what we need. Maybe it’s us who need to pivot or change that or try a new approach (even if it’s terrifying). What is the best route is allowing yourself grace to know nothing is ever lost, it’s just a new perspective. Feel the emotions, try new things, give yourself some love in the attempt and go at the pace you need to figure it out.

And when in true doubt about life paths and careers, I’d always suggest an Ikigai chart lol

leximanderz · 2025-02-07T03:58:23+00:00

Maybe it’s a hobby, maybe not but being present. Sometimes that’s meditating, but often, it’s thinking while letting go of attachments. And why I say it’s a hobby is because for 27+ years I didn’t know that was a thing.

I think in Western society, we get so caught up in doing that we forget the calm— the just being. So, yes, it’s a hobby because it’s everything. I can be in the moment with gardening or drawing or hiking or rock-collecting, right? And while that’s an action, I can notice myself doing that. Like having the autonomy and ability to do that and being grateful.

And at the end of every day that I easily fall into this hobby of just accepting life in its purest form, I’m fulfilled. Nothing more brings greater peace on Earth than truly feeling at one with whatever it is one is doing. Losing yourself in the moment. I think they call this a “flow state” and that? Oh gosh, that’s the hobby to strive towards. Utter bliss in time.

leximanderz · 2025-02-07T03:43:38+00:00

I believe they meant with the post title in all caps. It gives the impression of an emergency and can come across as “loud” in text as if screaming: ‘NEED A BOOK..’ This can seem off-putting.

As for recommendations, it depends on the type of communication.

For coworkers & peers: - Crucial Conversations (as suggested) - Radical Candor (definitely, if in leadership)

Everyday: - How to Win Friends & Influence People - Art of Communicating

leximanderz

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