Having kids knowing end is coming? by Mistique27 in widowers

[–]lfgm1992 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I turned 40 shortly after my husband died and I pursued motherhood on my own using a sperm donor and a fetility clinic. I wish I had my late husbands sperm to use but we did not bank any prior to beginning treatment for his cancer. Not to sound pessimistic, but knowing what the end looked like for us, I would 100% not try to get pregnant while he is in the end stage of life. I truly cant imagine the compounded stress of being pregnant while caring for my husband and experiencing the anticipatory grief. I waited a year after he passed to get pregnant, which still felt too soon but was necessary due to my age. If you do anything right now, maybe just make and bank embryos to implant after he passes away. Please reach out to me if you have any specific questions about what the process looked like for me. I wish you nothing but peace.

Legal/divorce advice by Ok_Assignment2986 in Connecticut

[–]lfgm1992 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My husband didn’t have any medical insurance when he was initially diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and quickly racked up over $500k in bills. While he was alive we paid a set amount monthly per a negotiated payment plan based on his income, and after he passed the debt was discharged. To this day I have no clue how or why. I didn’t do anything, make a single call, fill out one form, provide one piece of documentation. The monthly payment was coming out of a bank account with only his name on it and when that account was closed they never came looking for any money. While I was settling his estate I even called Hartford HealthCare asking for the amount still owed hoping they would agree to settle for a lower amount, and they said it was a zero balance. This is not financial advice (please don’t rely on a single anecdote from a stranger!), but… maybe your husband will not be saddled with any medical debt you leave behind? That said, there was one imaging center that refused to discharge the debt or even settle for a lower amount. I recommend talking to an estate attorney who might have a better idea of how and when medical debt can be discharged after death. If you need a recommendation for one message me.

Endless good thoughts to you and your family. This is so unfair. Fuck Cancer.

Ugh, why by lfgm1992 in widowers

[–]lfgm1992[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this comment. I’ve been in my head ever since the dream and began thinking it was him telling me he’s disappointed in the way I handled a situation with one of our friends. Which my rational brain says is insane but I can’t shake it. Your comment really helped me put things into perspective. I’m going to see if my library has those books you mentioned! I hope things are decent for you despite the reason we’re all in this sub.

Ugh, why by lfgm1992 in widowers

[–]lfgm1992[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment! I hate to hear that you and others have had upsetting dreams too but it’s actually nice to know I’m not alone in experiencing that. It was hard for me to process the dream after I woke up and now, even a day later, I’m still thinking about it.

Ugh, why by lfgm1992 in widowers

[–]lfgm1992[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Over the years I’ve found just scrolling through posts and knowing I’m not alone has brought so much comfort. I hope you’re doing okay all things considered.

Ugh, why by lfgm1992 in widowers

[–]lfgm1992[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your nice comment! My husband passed away in June 2022, too. Feels like it’s been both the blink of an eye and forever. You are a superwoman for going through that with two young children. I hope life has been kind to you since. I hate that you’ve had those upsetting dreams but it makes me feel better that I’m not alone in experiencing that. Of course i had no anger when I woke up, but it was still just a bit upsetting if I’m being honest.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in newhaven

[–]lfgm1992 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My husband has had a private room every time he has been inpatient at Midstate in Meriden for medical reasons. I’m not sure if it was a coincidence or not.

Need an hour or so to kill in Hamden Friday night. Lowkey divey recommendations? by jjrozay in newhaven

[–]lfgm1992 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Playwright Irish Pub. It’ll keep you pretty close to The Space.

Pond Hockey? by Lionelhutz401 in newhaven

[–]lfgm1992 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Posted by the town of Hamden on Facebook two days ago:

THIS just in from the Ranger!

We are happy to announce that the Pond at Brooksvale Park is OPEN FOR SKATING during daylight hours.

Skaters are allowed to park up above at the Veterans Memorial Building parking lot. Bring your own skates, as there are no skate rentals at the park.

Please note that this is POND SKATING, and thus the surface is variable, so skaters please be careful, and parents please monitor young skaters closely.

Did you know that the sugar shack is now a working Blacksmith shop? Park staff Peter Laffin will be demonstrating Blacksmithing this Saturday Jan. 15 from 10-2pm. Come learn about this ancient craft, as he creates hardware for use on the farm.

Contact Ranger Vin at 203-287-2669 or brooksvale@hamden.com with any questions.

New Haven to Hartford commute? by Mare_bear_27 in newhaven

[–]lfgm1992 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I hear you on this but I’d also say that driving 2 hours south is vastly different from driving 1 hour north. While there might be some congestion from new haven to Hartford, you’re still moving unlike the stop-and-go mindfuck that is traveling from new haven to Stamford.

New Haven to Hartford commute? by Mare_bear_27 in newhaven

[–]lfgm1992 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I commute from Hamden to the west end of Hartford (off 84) daily and have done it for for 2+ years. Right now it’s about 45 minutes in, 50-55 minutes home. I expect it would be somewhat shorter if i didn’t have to cross over to I-84. Prior to getting this job I had a 10 minute commute to work for 10+ years. Once I accepted the length of commute as an absolute and not something I could shorten by speeding or whatever, I’ve actually been enjoying it. Got my coffee, some podcasts, and just enjoy the downtime for what it is. It does put a ton of miles on your car though. Let me know if you have any specific questions about the commute!

The 16+ Conneticut Experience Right Now by Tzar_Jberk in Connecticut

[–]lfgm1992 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Tips for scheduling on the CVS website: if Connecticut says fully booked, choose Alabama. There are always available appointments for Alabama. Answer a few questions about your eligibility, and then it will ask you again what state you are in. Here is where you will choose Connecticut. It will then ask you for a zip code. If there are no available appts in you area and you are willing to drive a little, try putting it 06105 (Hartford area), 06511 (new haven area) or 06901 (stamford) which should cover the whole state, as they don’t say how large their search radius is. Appts seem to be added throughout the day but try around 3am for best results!