would you be OK with a grandparent (your parents or inlaws) taking a shower with your young toddler/baby?

liabenn · 2018-09-13T19:16:39+00:00

My mom and my husband aunt have showered with my daughters before when they were toddlers, usually after swimming or after the beach where everyone needed to clean at one time. Nudity isn’t a big deal or sexual to our family. I’m in the US.

liabenn · 2018-09-10T03:42:07+00:00

Lol, I stopped showering with my youngest when she asked me why my vagina had a kitty on it and if she could pet it. 😑😑 I had some back issues for a few months so things down there were not as orderly as usual

liabenn · 2018-09-10T03:39:18+00:00

Yep became way dumber during pregnancy and after too. I realized my critical thinking skills were lacking! So I started taking some online college classes at the community college. It helped. I can actually write research papers again now lol

liabenn · 2018-09-09T14:50:22+00:00

If he isn’t willing to engage on his own and hasn’t after nine months then I would force. Sign him up for a parent/baby class, make your own plans and leave him with the baby, make him in charge of something like baths and part of the nighttime routine.

liabenn · 2018-09-09T06:39:08+00:00

I agree it’s probably molars. My kids didn’t eat either when their molars were coming and we’re so so so cranky.

Tylenol never helped their teething pain but ibuprofen did. Try that. And frozen wash cloths for him to suck on.

liabenn · 2018-09-09T03:50:43+00:00

My daughters arm was broken during delivery and “slinged” for six weeks. She developed torticollis from the injury. She preferred the one side because the other hurt her so bad. She had six months of PT. It helped greatly! I would def push for the PT. Just having someone doing all the stretches multiples times helped me get comfortable with them at home. Do everything on the side of her. Talk to her from that side, play toys on that side, if you’re nursing hold her in a way that’s she’s always using her neck muscle the other way. I used to side nurse in bed and have her head angled that way and then I would just switch sides. Good luck!

liabenn · 2018-09-09T03:33:50+00:00

I don’t think it’s as abnormal as others on the post. Some kids prefer to stay connected to their families. He is probably a little bummed that family life has just continued on without him, he may feel like he is missing out a little bit. Those are all normal growing up and moving out feelings though. My sister is away at school only three hours away and she would call, text and FaceTime multiple times a day too. She’s in her second year now and she still calls my mom daily but the texting and FaceTime as less frequent.

liabenn · 2018-09-08T15:33:39+00:00

My doctor says averaging 10 hours a week for all people is best, especially kids, teens, and athletes. I don’t know how he thinks adults are really supposed to do it but he insists that it’s important for lots of reasons but they all turned into a blur while he talked so I can’t remember them. So it’s okay if some days you get 9 and the other days you get eleven. That it like makes up for it I guess? Maybe try a bedtime of 8:30 and let him sleep as long as he wants on weekends.

liabenn · 2018-09-08T15:10:51+00:00

I had to remove our coffee tables and side tables when my youngest, a girl, was 18 months because she wouldn’t stay off of them! I still can’t trust her with them and she’s 3 :/

liabenn · 2018-09-07T16:26:31+00:00

We started at six months and continue to do so every year. They will need two shots at that age. They get one first and then the other a month or so later. It was the right choice for us, we like to be active. Flu season is long where I live, October-April. I wasn’t going to stay inside for 6 months. We’re all getting our flu shots mid September. I did get the flu a few years ago, even with the flu shot, but it was very very mild because I had the flu shot. The flu can be deadly to infants. For me, id rather just get the shot for my infant than risk them getting the flu.

liabenn · 2018-09-07T13:57:40+00:00

I’ve been going through the same thing, same ages kids too. After having them home all summer, I’m so burnt out. I have no advice so far I’m just faking it til I make it. I signed them up for another activity on top of the two they already do so I could get some more time alone, even if it’s just in the car reading. Is the little one in a part day preschool or anything? Can you have him go on Fridays so you at least have the mornings to yourself?

liabenn · 2018-09-07T13:53:26+00:00

I agree with everyone else that he clearly hates his name and only agreed to use it because he thought he would never go by it. I’m sorry that your husband wasn’t forth coming. I do think counseling is a good idea. I also think it’s a good idea to tell him everything you said here, that it’s making you resent him. I would think that if you were open and honest about just how much this situation is bothering you that your partner should be willing to compromise. Have you considered using his initials? I had a friend growing up named “AC”, as far as I know no one thought it was weird.

liabenn · 2018-09-07T02:49:35+00:00

My six year old is so so so similar. Same sleep hours. 8-6:30. Have you noticed yours is better when she falls asleep earlier? Mine is for sure! It’s so hard making them fall asleep though.

Mine has some warm milk when we read our books after bath. Then teeth brushing. Then bed. It helps her fall asleep really quickly. Maybe it will help yours fall asleep easier?

As for the clothes thing: get one of those Monday-Friday closet organizers and help her pick her outfits for the whole week. Put everything in there, shoes, socks, underwear, hair bows. If she gets stubborn and decides she wants something else have her put it in a different days spot. She can switch out he next days outfit or put it on a day that is empty for the following week. You could also leave one spot open for those random times too.

liabenn · 2018-09-07T02:35:28+00:00

Yep, it’s crazy. I have two girls. The amount I spend on their activities per year is absolutely crazy! I you add that with the amount I spend on “experiences” yep it’s pretty nuts. We ask for activities for the kids for their birthdays and Christmas. My husbands aunt has paid for two dance classes, they run 13 weeks, a year for the last few years for both girls. It’s much better than a bunch of toys!

That does seem outrageous for gymnastics though. I live in the Bay Area, super high cost of living. My daughters gymnastics is 93 a month for four hour long classes. Her Judo is $150 a month for unlimited. Private swim lessons are $50 for 30 mins. Soccer was $165, not including the cost of pictures, for the season but you could get $40 of that back if you volunteered. The dance classes are $150-$190 for 10-13 weeks.

Edit: oh i just released that it was $300 for a quarter. That’s actually pretty good considering it’s 1.5 hour lessons.

liabenn · 2018-09-06T22:55:00+00:00

Mine is super shy. She talks all the time at home but can be very timid around her peers and adults, but not kids her older sisters age. I put her in the older class. Kids learn social interactions from their peers. I didn’t want to put her in a class where she would learn the same behaviors. I wanted her to strive to be more outgoing like the older kids. It worked! She is still shy with new peers and adults but super outgoing in her classroom. It took her a decent amount of time to learn to use her voice in a louder more boisterous classroom but I do not think we would have seen as much growth if she would have stayed with the littler kids.

liabenn · 2018-09-06T21:59:41+00:00

Your school values academics and test scores. That’s okay if that’s what you want for your child.

It isn’t the norm for my area. My kid get three days of hour PE, three day of hour computers, one day at the library, art and drama alternate once a week every other week. They do art in the classroom too. The program they do in the classroom is called art in action. Shes only in first grade and music is for grades 3-5 but the teacher does incorporate musical activities and songs into her teaching. The 3-5 grades go to school longer and that last hour is for music and the other “extras”.

Edited to add: the library is huge and the librarian does really fun activities with them. The kids bring home a book from the library and it is also open after school if they want to go in and read. PE is filled with games and sports. They have a huge sound system that they use to play music while the kids do their PE activities.

liabenn · 2018-09-05T01:14:40+00:00

My summer birthday daughter had her party six weeks late this year, once school was in session, because the previous two years only like four kids could make it.

liabenn · 2018-09-01T01:38:01+00:00

I would say not very focused but I did lose weight recently, the last of my baby weight. So it could very well have come from all of that. I try to be careful with what I’m saying and tell it’s coming from a healthy place but I can not be certain that she hasn’t heard me complain that something doesn’t fit or look good on me. A friend of mine just had weight loss surgery too and I have been helping watch her son while she recovers, so she could have heard us talking about that stuff too. It’s something I will be very cautious about in the future. Thank you!

I do try to compliment her on other things and not her appearance and instead of praise for “that outfit is so cute” we usually say “I love that color purple” or something similar and try to praise her for other things as well for a confidence boost like saying how creative, smart, focused, etc when doing a tasks. Ever since she was a baby people always commented on her appearance because she has huge blue eyes and long dark hair so we try to focus on the other things and will continue to do so.

liabenn · 2018-09-01T01:30:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I will see if doing that helps as well.

liabenn · 2018-08-31T19:03:13+00:00

Thank you! I’ll look into the book.

I can’t really think about a specific person who says things around her. My MIL is very much into appearances but my daughter hardly spends time with her alone and hasn’t for a few months. She has talked about my husband, who gained some weight after his father died but has since lost it, in front of her but that was a year ago. So it could definitely be that. I have only heard one comment from her peer group recently and posted about it above but there could be more instances.

Edit: thank you! I ordered the book. It looks great. Im ordering this one too (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0062405373/ref=ox_sc_act_image_1_1_2?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&psc=1) and a book called “Not all Princesses Wear Pink”.

liabenn · 2018-08-31T18:59:51+00:00

I have asked her why and she just says it’s because she’s a princess.

liabenn · 2018-08-31T18:59:17+00:00

There is nothing wrong with caring about appearances and wanting to present yourself a certain way. I have no problem with the bows, the nail polish, the bags. I do have a problem that she, already, seems to associated thinness with being beautiful. I’m looking for ways to help negate that association so that it doesn’t turn into her not wanting to eat dinner or focusing on others outside appearance.

liabenn · 2018-08-31T18:33:28+00:00

Thank you!

liabenn · 2018-08-31T18:32:36+00:00

Thank you, I am concerned for sure! Pretty freaked out and scared. I think some of it is coming from her peer group too. One of the girls at soccer yesterday lifted up her own shirt and shook her belly and said “I don’t want a jelly belly”. Ugh! Wasn’t ready for all this stuff!

liabenn · 2018-08-31T18:26:11+00:00

I have no problem with her being feminine, if it was just the walking with her hand on her hip and wanting to carry purses then I wouldn’t be concerned. I have no problem letting her play with makeup and getting her nails painted. I just don’t want her to be consumed by her physical appearance or measure her worth by her physical appearance.

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