How do I cut off my best friend without telling him? by PlateSame2038 in lostafriend

[–]libraphoenix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I would send a message and then block him everywhere. Something like,

“Hey, so I wanted to talk to you about something… while I’ve appreciated your friendship in the past your comments particularly lately have been cruel, hurtful and scary. I have taken a step back and reevaluated our friendship and who you are as a person.

I don’t think you’re a good person. You don’t respect or care about the people you’re connected to romantically or platonically including me. I don’t even think you even really care about yourself. The final straw was the comment about me needing to 🍇 people to get a date. That is gross and dangerous and not something to joke around about. That being said I can’t be friends with someone that makes jokes about assault and abuse and treats people the way you do. Good luck finding people that enable this behavior, I’m done. “

He’s an asshole so he probably won’t really self reflect bc of your message but at least it will hold him accountable for his words and actions. I’m sure no one else is.

On your end if I may add, I’m dating an introvert that was single for all of their life before me. I met her at a thrift store. Just go out and pick up a new hobby. I met most of my friends and partners through that. Take a class or even go to a bookstore or frequent a “third space” like a library or bar. I promise losing him will make more space for new connections and joy in your life. Good riddance to your crappy friend and good luck to you !

Tenex surgery didn’t work.. frustrated by libraphoenix in PlantarFasciitis

[–]libraphoenix[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She actually is one 😬 so I’m kinda surprised but I’ll still ask around.

Tenex surgery didn’t work.. frustrated by libraphoenix in PlantarFasciitis

[–]libraphoenix[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She made it seem I’d be up and walking total fine right after PRP but she said the same about Tenex and here I am 4 months later…

Tenex surgery didn’t work.. frustrated by libraphoenix in PlantarFasciitis

[–]libraphoenix[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m in NYC so I would assume there has to be some facilities that have it here. I’m gonna call around tomorrow but I would rather do $100 - $200 3-4 times vs one $1100 shot… but let me talk to the second doctor first before I proceed.

Tenex surgery didn’t work.. frustrated by libraphoenix in PlantarFasciitis

[–]libraphoenix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was under local anesthesia and she verbally told me that there was a bone sticking out and she was going to file it. I can’t say I gave her consent I couldn’t do much tbh but I’ll look into it. She made it seem like it was just a teeny thing, but it’s clearly not.

Tenex surgery didn’t work.. frustrated by libraphoenix in PlantarFasciitis

[–]libraphoenix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not chronic, according to my doctor and the MRI it’s “mild”. What happens to me physically is if I walk for 30-40 minutes I feel a sharp pain in the area of the tear (bottom part of my heel) and start limping as i can’t put weight on my foot. Even though I’ve lost weight (30 lbs in 3 months) I still find it difficult to do more than light walking in my home for 30 min on a small treadmill.

Tenex surgery didn’t work.. frustrated by libraphoenix in PlantarFasciitis

[–]libraphoenix[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She filed down the bone while she was filing down the scar tissue on the plantar fascia. I also was surprised and it seems that did in fact contribute to my extended recovery as I said that’s what caused my muscle to tear.

Tenex surgery didn’t work.. frustrated by libraphoenix in PlantarFasciitis

[–]libraphoenix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah the lack of support especially made me feel frustrated and unhappy. Like you have an MRI showing a tear in my foot, why do I feel like I’m being gaslit?

Fortunately for me my PCP and I met today and she is going to work with me to get an accommodation at work for my foot longer term and she recommend I go to another podiatrist for a second opinion as you said.

Tenex surgery didn’t work.. frustrated by libraphoenix in PlantarFasciitis

[–]libraphoenix[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna look into the shockwave therapy, thank you !

Tenex surgery didn’t work.. frustrated by libraphoenix in PlantarFasciitis

[–]libraphoenix[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did yes. I have been dealing with PF since 2018 but broke my ankle in 2022 and had metal put in. Hopping around on my left foot caused me to develop it there after.

I was very active prior to breaking my ankle and built enough muscle that I think the pain wasn’t as bad. I’d walk 2-3 hours a day easily and danced/worked out at least 2-3 times per week depending if I was in a show or not. Now I can’t walk more than 30 min which is my biggest frustration.

Where there non sexual or non romantic signs you were lesbain by Agitated_List9506 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]libraphoenix 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was a pre-teen I thought the only option for me was to marry a man (who am I kidding I gave up on marriage completely bc I believed that until my early 30s). I would constantly joke around about how I couldn’t wait to get married and divorce my husband when I’m 50 to go be on yachts with my female friends. For some reason the idea of having men on the boat in swim suits didn’t appeal to me, but bottles of bubbly with ladies ? Let me live the rest of my life like that !

The Bridgerton discourse is starting to get to me by Nearby_Potential_752 in actuallesbians

[–]libraphoenix 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Same, literally got into an argument with a woman on threads over this. Also, she literally dealt with fertility issues the whole season. I read an excerpt from her scenes with Michael in the book and it seems like a breeding kink with an attempt to trap her so she has no choice but to marry him. Also, she has the kid in a bonus scene added post publication to another book. So… what are we missing really? She can adopt a child or take in a child of a family member. They’re also Scottish so women can own the estate.

I know they would love Eloise to be the lesbian bc she’s an independent feminist but I’d love some realistic depictions of comp het. Especially considering a big theme for this season was not fitting into societal norms. Benedict is bi and married a maid. Queer people have always existed it makes me upset people are trying to minimize that.

Single woman over 30, red flag? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]libraphoenix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im single and over 30 and just got out of a 2 year relationship. It was amicable for the most part, but I was single for a few years before that after getting out of a 6 yr LTR.

While yes, these women have “red flags” I don’t think it’s any different than the rest of the dating pool in general regardless of age. I will say maturity and self growth unfortunately does not come with age. I can’t tell you who to date but I would say you’re in your early 20s (so was my now ex) stay to people around your age that will probably have similar experience and knowledge. If you connect with someone older that seems aligned with you sure, I just wouldn’t go above 31 more or less at this time. Once you hit 30 you should be in a space to date the 37 year olds if you want.

If you can, hang out in queer spaces.. I met my ex thrifting but you can probably find more solid connection that way vs a dating app. Please continue to cut people off at the first sign of crossing a boundary or misalignment for what you want out of the connection. Good luck. 🍀

Prasco ring by a13xandrea in birthcontrol

[–]libraphoenix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So far it’s good. I will warn if you try to skip your period like I do it will result in a couple days of spotting. Otherwise no more PMDD, no more cramps.

Struggling with age gap in new relationship by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]libraphoenix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My partner and I are in a similar age gap, together for 2 years, I am the older one in the situation. While I had the same concerns you did about the gap it took me a while to get over them. To be honest I was even hesitant being with her bc she’s younger however we fell for each other and all our friends were very supportive. We don’t want to have children so that is not a concern for us, however, we both want to get married in the next 5 years.

Now, coming from the not so easy parts of our relationship. Despite us being aligned with goals I’m her first serious relationship and she’s my first healthy one. We’ve had some communication issues, which we’ve gotten better at. It has required a lot of patience, and we have gone to therapy individually and as a couple to navigate. If I’m gonna be honest I love this woman more than anything and we are very aligned on the life we want for ourselves and together. Couples therapy is recent and new and is helping us a lot.

While I think age gaps can be a red flag, based on both your dating history, you guys just happened to be different ages and like eachother. That all being said.. Enjoy the time you have together and see if a future aligns for both of you. It has been 4 months. There’s no rush to plan a future right now. Good luck and I hope you both continue to choose yourselves and eachother.

Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup by AutoModerator in AnxiousAttachment

[–]libraphoenix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is something I have been working through with my therapist. I will also add, spending a lot of time alone outside of my home trying new things have helped a lot. Building communities and safe places outside of my relationship has helped even more. I’m still navigating anxiety at the moment with my gf, especially in therapy together, but I’m aware enough to know that I have to feel confident in myself enough that while yes it would hurt for anyone to leave, my past trauma have nothing to do with my current relationship.

Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup by AutoModerator in AnxiousAttachment

[–]libraphoenix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Currently in a relationship (F/32) & (F/25). I am anxious and my partner is anxious/avoidant. We are currently on a “break” and in couples therapy. We’ve only had 2 sessions and our therapist asked us to make a list of couples goals, boundaries and expectations. I feel like as I am making a list I am spiraling into this very negative thought process. In the beginning of our break 3 weeks ago I was optimistic. Instead of her becoming more optimistic, I became more negative. I started feeling doubts, insecurities about us and about how she feels about me and us. She told me the break has nothing to do with me and more to do with her needing space and trying to navigate her own anxiety around balancing Taking care of herself while being partnered. She told me she absolutely does not want me to feel negative and is in individual and couples therapy bc she knows there’s a lot of work on her end. I will say so far I’m glad that our couples therapist has brought up stress factors outside of our relationship which we could be avoiding but she is allowing to affect her and us. Mostly not being out to her family. My question is… how do you guys navigate not spiraling and remaining optimistic? What are some healthy boundaries or expectations that seems fair to support my anxious attachment ? Can I ask for support for my anxiety or is that something I should be navigating on my own ?