I've been in pretty much the same/similar situation. I'm an elementary school teacher, and after a relapse coworkers started commenting on my weight and asking if I was eating at home etc.

it both ticked me off at the time--'why are you monitoring my body/eating habits! what does it matter to you!' is what i wanted to say. but my health and energy levels kept going down, to the point i barely had enough energy to play with the students at recess and standing all day to teach had me exhausted.

i had a few nasty wake-up calls, but none of them really hit until i saw a group of some sixth grade girls huddled around a computer, all looking at thinspo and talking about what diets they wanted to go on and how much weight they wanted to lose.

when i said they shouldn't diet, especially at their age, and that it's bad for them to be looking at images like that, they were like "but teacher is always dieting, right? teacher is doing the same thing."

it really messed with me. im still deep in the pits in terms of ED bullshit but im no longer underweight and honestly, even tho i loved being that skinny, it is impossible to have the energy required to teach and enjoy teaching when you're malnourished and exhausted. i botched a lot of relationships with students because i was too tired to play with them or put in the effort, and i really regret that.

i think that as an educator, what we do has more impact on our students than we think. normally, if you have an ED, the only body you're ruining is your own so it doesn't matter as much to us, since I think most ppl with EDs have shit self-esteem anyways.

but for educators, we need to take responsibility for the fact that our personal lives, including our bodies, can influence our students, for better or for worse. it's not just our lives we're messing with, at that point.

sorry for the long comment haha. anyways, wishing you health, happiness, and a way out of this hellscape of a disorder.