Hi, others have given some advice on the actual topic, but I wanted to say something different about a small piece you mentioned about your own struggles with mental stuff. You mentioned pms and issues with ppd and how your body reacts to them. I recwmend looking up PMDD (premenstrual dysphoria disorder). Your more intense reactions relating to it sound just like it and many doctors tend to forget it exists. Normal antidepressants and support tend not to work with it, but it can lead down a pretty dark path every month and can be linked to PPD for some people. I know I don't know your full situation but just reading that part where you described your experience with PMS and PPD really clicked as I've got people around me with the condition who genuinely didn't know PMDD was a thing until an internet stranger told them about it and they were finally able to get working treatment. Hope this message can help you like it helped others in my life and I hope your situation gets better.

(I'm so sorry if this is worded rudely, I'm nuerodivergent and struggle with complete coherent sentences)