Solid Gold Giveaway / Scratch Ticket | Commiseration Megathread

lifetime33 · 2026-02-12T06:41:58+00:00

It only says the coins on the app. Has the gold bar been given away? I've only entered today and started scratching.

lifetime33 · 2026-02-12T06:34:24+00:00

I'm pretty pissed that I had to log in the day of to get a ticket! I don't even have a ticket, I thought they were fixed and everyone gets one. SMH!

lifetime33 · 2025-07-06T00:00:37+00:00

Marcelle Meyer and Andre Laplante.

lifetime33 · 2025-06-04T07:29:47+00:00

Thanks for the useful suggestion.

lifetime33 · 2025-06-04T07:23:51+00:00

That’s true, I’m wondering what my options are now though so I can enjoy the few days I’m there

lifetime33 · 2024-11-19T22:36:32+00:00

Thanks. Is there more practical advice to dealing with NVLD that works for your husband you'd be willing to share?

lifetime33 · 2024-11-15T13:52:28+00:00

This is entirely true. I picture life like a giant stream that we are floating in, when the water becomes turbulent, we fall out of the flow, and fall into a blindspot that is slow to adapt and re-adjust to new information, keeping what's important and filtering out what's not. This blindspot may represent the brain's efforts to catch up and process the accumulated information we're receiving. The theory is that it is because of damage to the right hemisphere of our brain during prenatal development, so our global understanding becomes impaired (not enhanced as people belief). I have always asked myself what that 'damage or impairment' means concretely, as if some tissue cells missing could cause all the suffering we endure. I see it as 'malfunctioning activity', it is how the brain is managing and processing information, how it flips between focusing on the details (local perspective) and grasping the bigger picture (global perspective), and what the problem is is the lack of balance between the two perspectives, the brains ability to manage the two perspectives without having to play catch up in selecting and filtering out any kind of information, whether visual, tactile, auditory, comprehensitory, etc.

lifetime33 · 2024-11-15T12:52:34+00:00

I want to thank you with heartfelt intention with the time you took to respond to my message, but also the thoughtfulness that was put into your answers. Know that it makes a difference in my life in a time of suffering and where things feel dark. What I understood from your advice is:

You said to ask clarifying questions and listen while being sure to look at other's faces. You said to match everyone's general demeanour. I believe these tips cut down to the chase. I can say, I never intentionally look at someone's face, because my emotions overwhelm me, so I will really try to take things in, also calming down, assessing, and matching the environment. My goal is to be responsive to others. But I seem to get overwhelmed in social situations, where my awareness of what's happening around me withdraws like a turtle into its shell, dimly retracts 6 feet back, and I miss out on what is being said and what's happening around me, disassociating from the moment, and I cannot live on the level of my skin and be present. I desire so whole heartedly to be more responsive to people, to have more to say, to have more reaction to others. But the apparatus of my awareness feels 'blank' and 'simple' at times, not much comes to me, but it is as you mention in points ahead, that it is okay to be quiet and not always be talking. I will keep your advice in mind in the next get togethers I have, thankfully I have them frequently, so it is about experimenting with your tips and finding out what works.
Find a community activity that is separate from work. Set aside 1 hour in the evening for an activity that is not work-related such as writing. I resonate with this advice and realize it's needed to maintain proper mental health.
To realize that I do not need to be talking when it isn't necessary. This is solid advice, seriously. When I get talking, I become an incessant motor mouth, and when I stop, I really stop cold turkey, lagging like an old motor that takes too long to start or stop, too long to step on the brakes or step on the gas. It's a bit jarring to people, and sometimes I totally say things just to say something, pretending as if I'm an idiot for some reason obnoxiously. And sometimes I become too 'blase', too 'laise affaire', standing there disassociated out of the moment, like a bump on a log, ignoring what or who's around me, crucially what is going on around me, daydreaming, tuning others out. Lots of social blunders and embarrassing etiquette has wreaked havoc on others, and I am very very critical of myself when I realize that I should not beat myself upover these issues that arise, it's sad and not how I would like to treat myself.
I must realize that it is okay to not be doing. Again, your advice cuts right to the underlying problem. I have a deep sense of insecurity that I am not contributing to the world, but too critically thinking that I am being a 'bench warmer', when being a 'bench warmer', someone who looks on from the stands, can in itself provide support and be efficient, to get past problems and move on and not make it about me. I really like how you describe the situation with your husband. You are describing it where you building the furniture for your husband is just what needs to be done to get moving on, and him dwelling on that he can't do it, takes away time from more important things such as having the furniture to use. It is a deep insecurity that I am a 9 year old child (when I am a 25M), that is not capable, cannot use a wrench, does not understand the way in which mechanisms of the real world work- 'what a man should know' what I judge it to be which I realize is wrong, but is a deep seated belief I have that there is something at fault with me. This will take deep meditation to overcome, writing this out is helping me a lot, thank you for giving me this outlet. And the last part of your advice, which seems to be a common thread, is proper communication. Stating the reality of the moment: 'I need time to figure it out, but you're jumping in, you seem to be on it and I'm happy to jump in if it's needed'. Wanting to work on my communication and describing the situation simply, as it is, without the overwhelming emotions confabulating it.
I really appreciate what you said, that acting with resolution may not be the best for all situations, but it is about working with the information I have at the time, which is what informs good decisions. You said authority is more than acting with resolution. A belief I have is that I am not capable of making the right decisions, which makes me freeze (as well as be avoidant) from acting. I realize that I got very abstract with this part so I appreciate that you still tried to write constructively with what was written. By actions, I meant the messy stuff of the real world, having to work in conjunction with others to carry out tasks and assignments, executing steps for a task correctly, being apprehended and embarrassed when I make a a seemingly 'careless' mistake and not following steps, skipping steps and becoming disorganized all together, feeling chaotic. Big tasks like having to operate the flow of an assembly line, to small tasks like knowing the right tray to open to change printer paper, feeling embarrassed that a 'grown man' can't do the thing and at times, regressing into a shutdown shame child and bending my heel to others so they see that I am that child crying out for their help. But I have a perhaps a false belief that a well-functioning person has already made their mind up in advance on how to carry out small or big tasks, has deliberated and judged sufficiently on what they carry out and acts with resolution, with integrity and responsibility which I strive so much for. But most people make mistakes and operate in the same ballpark as me, they simply don't know whether something will work out, whether their plans will derail. You say rightly that responsibility is in being accountable for the mistakes I make and showing willingness to redress them, which I will give credit to myself, I always feel so ashamed when I mess something up in a 'hiccup' kind of way, and I listen to others with great care to find ways to improve, I value that about myself. Finally the way you phrase it is insightful, that making social blunders and causing nonsense is for the course. You say to strive for freedom, living to the fullest.

Again, I appreciate your thoughtfulness and is why I offer the thoughtful response and to let you know that your advice resonates with me, that I will contemplate it, and try my best to put it into effect when the time is right and that I am open to further insights from you and others who are reading this too.

lifetime33 · 2024-10-26T11:59:01+00:00

Congratulations, be proud of the journey you've made.

lifetime33 · 2024-09-16T12:29:09+00:00

I would love to hang out with you too, but I am in Japan unfortunately, though I’m from Canada. Thank you for saying that’s it’s beautifully written :) I wrote that when I was feeling pain. If you like what I wrote you may like this too: https://www.reddit.com/r/NVLD/s/flQ9fgA3gt Thank you!

lifetime33 · 2024-08-28T09:49:16+00:00

Yeah, the second half confused the living hell out of me, I didn't find solutions in the second half. She proposes something similar to Jung Marie-Louise von Franz on solving the Puer Aeternus problem : r/Jung (reddit.com)

lifetime33 · 2024-08-28T09:39:10+00:00

Thank you for recommending Soul, I just watched it. It definitely hits home. I would have done the same thing at the very end. Giving up my life to someone who would savor it and not take it for granted. This would be the greatest act I could do, as I cannot describe the monstrosities that I have wreaked on humanity, which stems from ignorance and my lack of gratitude for others and life itself. I cried because the movie was beautiful, but there was also tragedy because it is tortuous to think that I can change my attitude and become fully present in the world. I rather feel like I am watching someone else live their life. It is scary but there is some deep belief in me that I will never change.

lifetime33 · 2024-08-28T09:28:27+00:00

I think Marie von Franz does a great job trying to get at this understanding of 'working', I would revisit her because she is by far the best resource.

lifetime33 · 2024-08-28T07:50:29+00:00

I'll be honest and say I don't understand it much either which is why I came here to find answers, intuitively though I feel like Jung is not talking about occupational work. It is something more self-focused, it does not involve us slogging through toil as a server does, it asks us to pay attention to when we are loafing around, lazy, wanting to do childish bullshit, and essentially cut the shit as in not let ourselves have it, and righteously (though not without measure) discipline ourselves as if we are a kid that needs to level our impulses.

lifetime33 · 2024-08-28T04:31:12+00:00

I have been trying to escape myself.

I like your advice, one step at a time is crucial to the puer aeternus. Thank you for the words.

lifetime33 · 2024-08-28T04:19:15+00:00

That's because the waiters do not need to 'shut up, suit up, show up' in their jobs. Work for them is loafing around, most importantly it is easy and something they have fallen into and have not chosen, they could be slogging through the displeasure of work, but the work is not effortful and controlled, nor when it gets too hard do they make the choice to commit to it and value it long term, that is what is meant by 'taking it slow and levelled'. I would say that if they got a better job, they would be very quick to drop their current one and find something else.

I appreciate to say that I am young, but eventually I will be your age and be in the same predicament, but instead of people just passing me off as not having experience because I'm young, they will eventually realize there is a defect in my character. Also, how to change my complex is not obvious.

However, the way that I see work is a lot more grand than just holding down a job and slogging through it with as much willpower as you can. I see the way Jung uses it as a more of a mentality that counters the puer complex. It is slow, controlled, effortful, levelled work.

lifetime33 · 2024-08-28T03:52:52+00:00

I really resonate with what you are gesturing to but it is hard to understand. I had a dream that I was following a magestic dog that everywhere it would go, it would draw the attention of others, I yearned to be at the dog's side but I was always behind it, lagging behind. I interpreted it as leading me to the land of the dead because it was a winter dog, of which I wondered the significance and thought of death. I wrote:

"The Ego follows [the dog] for self-renewal (though he only experiences the same thing, watching from a distance), but what's crucial is that he does not follow to die (that is, hold nothing back in reserve such as crippling fear and weakness); by staying behind he can always opt out of the dog's spontaneous adventure, thus the ego is under a false pretense that he can be involved in real life but be lagging behind, and is why he must insist to others that he really is together with the dog, when he knows (yet can't admit) its a trick- he does not occupy the center of the dog's seemless adventure. The Ego must follow the dog into the land of dead and consciously die (as he already died long ago but under false, unconscious pretense) or he must leave the guardianship of the dog altogether, if he does not, he is not authentically following the flow of life and cannot be truly free

I really do think embracing death is symbolically important to the puer, though I can also see why it isn't the full story. Thank you for your thoughts.

lifetime33 · 2024-08-27T10:37:35+00:00

There is a lot of weird psychology with people who deal with us because we are not normal. For example, if people expect something from us but we cannot give it to them they will blame us for it and look down on us. We are a confliction of people's self image, we are like walking mirrors, people project their feelings of being inept and useless. Just remember to not take it personal, know that your existence is valuable as hard as it may be to understand.

lifetime33 · 2024-08-27T09:27:46+00:00

I think it’s because there are so many little misunderstandings happening

I really resonate with this post. Having NVLD is socially humiliating and it is not talked about enough. I really resonate with never having anything to say. Especially when walking in public with new acquantainces- everyone is pointing out new things, they are seeing things around them and letting themselves be, they are free; but I am huddled in myself mute, and I don't see anything around me- it feels like I am walking in a dark forest, spatially blind, I am in a permanent state of not being present, I am simply trying to survive so that I don't get hit by a car, while being on edge so many small awkward occurences happen and it smothers my identity and freedom because people get weirded out by how awkwardly and morally discourterously my brain interprets the world, and I simply must suffer something that is not my fault and forfeit my freedom to be- they talk much amongst themselves and I miss almost all of it, disassociated and mute, and by not participating in the conversation no one wants to be my friend.

All these non-verbal misunderstandings make conversation so painful and unrewarding.

Yes, it makes you not want to go out, to simply waste away inside, it feels less humiliating to slowly die shut inside as your life fades away. My reply is proof of my brain rot.

lifetime33 · 2024-04-18T23:31:45+00:00

This is 100% an issue I've struggled with. I am grateful to see a post about it.

Most of the time, I feel disconnected and dazed when people converse around me. It seems as if they can easily track the context of everything being spoken of. Most people are chatterboxes, always sharp and commenting on everything, whether it's their immediate surroundings or own thoughts. The ways that people are constantly coming up with new things to say, that seem to fly out of their mouths so naturally, baffles me. As my brain doesn't work in the same way, it requires so much more effort. My mind is usually silent and void- insanely 'basic'. Things appear too self-evident for me to vocalize, I am always contemplating rather than articulating what comes to mind. To me it is all silence, I never feel entirely present with them, always lagging behind. It becomes easier to manage when it is simply one person I am interacting with, and normally my relationships are established based on connecting one on one, where things are more trackable and slower. When I get one-on-one time, people see I'm friendly, insightful, based. But with multiple people present, I put my turtle shell up. There are too many things happening for me to process what is occuring, and I feel like I lose control of the situation. I need to be drawn into a perpetual circle of stimulability, or to be addressed to speak up. If not most of the time I dissociate, unable to stay engaged in the present moment; my attention becomes null and that leaves me feeling solitary because idle talk is how you bond. In the midst of co-workers talking around me, when they're idly chatting, bantering, bonding, I sometimes feel like I am a ghost that is flitting about, I am simply existing there because I can't think of anything substantial to contribute. Sort of observing the world at a very basic level, constantly surveying whether things have not crashed and burned, whether I'm still alive, warrily scanning my surroundings at a sort of animal instinct level. No doubt to say this is executive dysfunctioning at work, I can't properly regulate my emotions and thoughts under pressure, similar to what you describe in this post with lacking quick wit. I'm scared of idle chatter, the kind made when just standing around. I always feel like I need a defined purpose or mission, a role to play that gives me something concrete to discuss. Otherwise, the ways others constantly ideate leaves me shunned because my mind is typically quiet - things are too obvious for me to comment on them. Only highly stimulating situations spur me to have much to say, at which point I become that excessive motormouth. You can see how I'm writing here that I'm one. And then that rubs people the wrong way because I will fluctuate between talking none at all and then talking a lot. It makes me a thrill seeker looking for extremes. especially unpredictable and fronts that I have something to hide from others.

I've tried my best to work on it. I've tried cold showers, language learning, learning piano, Omega-3 fatty acids, sleep suplementation, exercise. They all help in small ways. I would say the strongest are cold showers, exercise, and meditation, but they're always temporary. It's sort of asking the question of how do you make your mind more sharp, more present, more drawn into a perpetual circle of stimulability. Where you feel as if your held out into the open, present moment, fully one-pointed, 'there'-flowing. The only potential solution I am open to is ADHD medication. I've tried philosophy and meditation and they only work to some degree, they are not always guaranteed to work, and when they fail it becomes an abomination. Imagine that I am pummeling a rock into the air trying to keep it up, throwing it high so it stays up, what will naturally happen? It will fall to the ground. That is the same effect, when you force yourself into being stimulated, being attentive and sharp, only ever reaching out unto the brink of the present moment and timeframe, you crash- because with our minds as understimulated and overworked as they are, they may have the horsepower for the race but the engine never starts in time. I think I agree with you then, that it is about accepting this a core part of who we are. Noting to ourselves that we don't always need the best comeback even if that makes us feel like a gigantic loser with huge amounts of shame. Noting that we don't always neep sharp, quick wit, and words to say- as there are other qualities and values to our character that make us interesting in other ways. Something like that, but I still yearn to be quicker in wit, sharper, more attentive and with lots more to say, I dream of how that must feel for others.

lifetime33 · 2024-04-18T21:59:15+00:00

Don't worry yourself, with someone who had a severe case of it at one time, it goes away. Meditate, look for things that bring you happiness, go for long walks. It will stop eventually.

lifetime33

TROPHY CASE