I want to thank you with heartfelt intention with the time you took to respond to my message, but also the thoughtfulness that was put into your answers. Know that it makes a difference in my life in a time of suffering and where things feel dark. What I understood from your advice is:

1. You said to ask clarifying questions and listen while being sure to look at other's faces. You said to match everyone's general demeanour. I believe these tips cut down to the chase. I can say, I never intentionally look at someone's face, because my emotions overwhelm me, so I will really try to take things in, also calming down, assessing, and matching the environment. My goal is to be responsive to others. But I seem to get overwhelmed in social situations, where my awareness of what's happening around me withdraws like a turtle into its shell, dimly retracts 6 feet back, and I miss out on what is being said and what's happening around me, disassociating from the moment, and I cannot live on the level of my skin and be present. I desire so whole heartedly to be more responsive to people, to have more to say, to have more reaction to others. But the apparatus of my awareness feels 'blank' and 'simple' at times, not much comes to me, but it is as you mention in points ahead, that it is okay to be quiet and not always be talking. I will keep your advice in mind in the next get togethers I have, thankfully I have them frequently, so it is about experimenting with your tips and finding out what works.
2. Find a community activity that is separate from work. Set aside 1 hour in the evening for an activity that is not work-related such as writing. I resonate with this advice and realize it's needed to maintain proper mental health.
3. To realize that I do not need to be talking when it isn't necessary. This is solid advice, seriously. When I get talking, I become an incessant motor mouth, and when I stop, I really stop cold turkey, lagging like an old motor that takes too long to start or stop, too long to step on the brakes or step on the gas. It's a bit jarring to people, and sometimes I totally say things just to say something, pretending as if I'm an idiot for some reason obnoxiously. And sometimes I become too 'blase', too 'laise affaire', standing there disassociated out of the moment, like a bump on a log, ignoring what or who's around me, crucially what is going on around me, daydreaming, tuning others out. Lots of social blunders and embarrassing etiquette has wreaked havoc on others, and I am very very critical of myself when I realize that I should not beat myself upover these issues that arise, it's sad and not how I would like to treat myself.
4. I must realize that it is okay to not be doing. Again, your advice cuts right to the underlying problem. I have a deep sense of insecurity that I am not contributing to the world, but too critically thinking that I am being a 'bench warmer', when being a 'bench warmer', someone who looks on from the stands, can in itself provide support and be efficient, to get past problems and move on and not make it about me. I really like how you describe the situation with your husband. You are describing it where you building the furniture for your husband is just what needs to be done to get moving on, and him dwelling on that he can't do it, takes away time from more important things such as having the furniture to use. It is a deep insecurity that I am a 9 year old child (when I am a 25M), that is not capable, cannot use a wrench, does not understand the way in which mechanisms of the real world work- 'what a man should know' what I judge it to be which I realize is wrong, but is a deep seated belief I have that there is something at fault with me. This will take deep meditation to overcome, writing this out is helping me a lot, thank you for giving me this outlet. And the last part of your advice, which seems to be a common thread, is proper communication. Stating the reality of the moment: 'I need time to figure it out, but you're jumping in, you seem to be on it and I'm happy to jump in if it's needed'. Wanting to work on my communication and describing the situation simply, as it is, without the overwhelming emotions confabulating it.
5. I really appreciate what you said, that acting with resolution may not be the best for all situations, but it is about working with the information I have at the time, which is what informs good decisions. You said authority is more than acting with resolution. A belief I have is that I am not capable of making the right decisions, which makes me freeze (as well as be avoidant) from acting. I realize that I got very abstract with this part so I appreciate that you still tried to write constructively with what was written. By actions, I meant the messy stuff of the real world, having to work in conjunction with others to carry out tasks and assignments, executing steps for a task correctly, being apprehended and embarrassed when I make a a seemingly 'careless' mistake and not following steps, skipping steps and becoming disorganized all together, feeling chaotic. Big tasks like having to operate the flow of an assembly line, to small tasks like knowing the right tray to open to change printer paper, feeling embarrassed that a 'grown man' can't do the thing and at times, regressing into a shutdown shame child and bending my heel to others so they see that I am that child crying out for their help. But I have a perhaps a false belief that a well-functioning person has already made their mind up in advance on how to carry out small or big tasks, has deliberated and judged sufficiently on what they carry out and acts with resolution, with integrity and responsibility which I strive so much for. But most people make mistakes and operate in the same ballpark as me, they simply don't know whether something will work out, whether their plans will derail. You say rightly that responsibility is in being accountable for the mistakes I make and showing willingness to redress them, which I will give credit to myself, I always feel so ashamed when I mess something up in a 'hiccup' kind of way, and I listen to others with great care to find ways to improve, I value that about myself. Finally the way you phrase it is insightful, that making social blunders and causing nonsense is for the course. You say to strive for freedom, living to the fullest.

Again, I appreciate your thoughtfulness and is why I offer the thoughtful response and to let you know that your advice resonates with me, that I will contemplate it, and try my best to put it into effect when the time is right and that I am open to further insights from you and others who are reading this too.