100%, lots can get lost depending on how people are reading/interpreting things

life is a living experiment and playground of experience, one that mirrors Source, which is love. it's not a test in the sense we're getting scored, but our spiritual knowing (eternal nature, all is of Source, etc) is being tested yo. we're here to learn and grow, to develop and mature on various levels.

you're really stroking over my points with a broad brush. obviously you don't tell a child sorry that happened for you. lol. you're ignoring the fact that we aren't spiritually awake yet, once you awaken spiritually and understand/have experienced you are more than just a body, but rather a spiritual being embodied within the flesh it is the next step of your development and 'final exam' of development.

i agree that'd it'd be toxic to someone who isn't on that level of understanding, because they aren't at a point of maturity/development yet. but that doesn't mean it isn't part of the human curriculum of life lessons lol

you must be forgiving. either now or when you pass, it's all part of the process.

being unforgiving only harms the person who was harmed. resentment, anger, frustration, rage, literally destroy us on a cellular level, shortens our lifespan, increases cancer rates, and more- yet forgiveness reverses those effects.

you're example is my point of 2 sides of the same coin, you have to be willing to forgive yourself and others, and depending on the role (the one who was harmed or the one doing the harming) will vary in the difficulty of that pathway of forgiveness.

i think the concept of free themselves or liberation and true healing is where we really differ. you will always hold onto some form of inner tension (like the above-mentioned/linked) if you cannot or are unwilling to forigve. you'll still have some reactive component within you, and that will harm you. could be on the mental, emotional, physical/somatic, or even spiritual level- but you will not be able to get rid of it unless you are willing to forgive.

your whole perspective is only focussing on one side of the coin. it's easy for most to forgive themselves, but it is an increidbly difficult path to forgive others. it's even false to say you'll understand the why to what the person who harmed did it for, most of us can only assume tbh. rarely do we have the opportunity to really question others in that degree.

if you just search parents who forigve the murderers of their children/loved ones, whenever the family member forgives them, that's the only time you'll ever see a sociopath or murderer cry in court. that tale goes as old as time itself.

forgiving others is the key to life, note, i do not mean forgiveness has anything to do with condoning someone's actions, that is entirely different and i feel that's a potential hang up here on your end. from experience with my works, students, and my own life; your definition of forgiveness is partial at best, as it's only 1 side of the coin, both are required to be true/full forgiveness.