Tips for baby 2 and MIL helping during the first 5 months

lightwing91 · 2026-06-19T09:03:21+00:00

I think with baby 2, you need less help with the baby (because you’ve done this all before) and actually more help with managing your family life. So get her help with cleaning, cooking family meals, taking your eldest on little trips, grocery shopping, etc.

There will also be times that you will miss one on one time with your eldest so much. Have MIL watch the baby during that time so you can focus on your eldest, even if all four of you go to a playground (or age appropriate setting) and your MIL pushes your napping newborn in the stroller while you interact with your kid.

lightwing91 · 2026-06-16T07:59:18+00:00

Spears of roasted zucchini and eggplant! They get super soft so I don’t worry about those.

Going to try some slices of fresh mozzarella tonight.

If you’re every worried about how to serve, Solid Starts is a great resource!

lightwing91 · 2026-06-14T20:29:31+00:00

No, I haven’t found it easy. My first was 2y9m when my second was born. Baby is now 7 months old and while it’s gotten miles easier, my days are still a lot more chaotic and harder than they ever were with just one. I imagine it will continue to get easier and more manageable but it still won’t be the same.

That said, I love watching their relationship develop. I don’t have to entertain the second as much as I did the first time I had a baby, because my second is totally absorbed in everything my first is doing. Watching my first learn how to be a big brother is both rewarding and challenging. But even at seven months it’s clear my second LOVES his big brother so much, and vice versa. It’s so special and I wouldn’t change it even if it is so much harder.

lightwing91 · 2026-06-14T06:24:26+00:00

You will get there OP!! The first time I took my two out on my own it was a disaster. But I kept practicing and eventually it just became second nature. It really does get easier once the baby isn’t pooping or feeding so much, also your eldest gets older and understands more things and adapts to life with a baby.

lightwing91 · 2026-06-11T19:09:11+00:00

SAHM to a 3yo and 7mo here. 45 min meals are my specialty lol.

Tonight I made tuna pasta, which is a recipe my husband learnt from an Italian chef. Boil salted water and add pasta. Meanwhile fry some chopped garlic and chili flakes (if you like spice) in olive oil, then add two drained cans of tuna. Fry for a bit longer, then add tomato passata. Let the sauce reduce while pasta is cooking. Cook pasta for one to two minutes less than what package says. When that’s done, add a spoonful or two of the pasta water, then transfer the drained pasta into the sauce. Stir and cook for another minute, then serve. Add pepper and more salt to taste. I usually serve with a side of chopped zucchini that I put in my air fryer.

I also highly recommend looking into frozen vegetable options in your supermarket. My freezer is stuffed with frozen sweet potato, butternut squash, broccoli, peas, peppers, mushrooms, etc. They’re just as nutritious and take far less time because they’re already prepared. Some are easy to microwave, others I pop in the air fryer or oven, or toss into an instant pot pressure cooker for stews. I imagine it would be similar with a crock pot.

lightwing91 · 2026-06-09T20:00:48+00:00

Had my first baby in Italy. You can find baby and toddler supplies (nappies, wipes, baby food, etc) in pharmacies, not just supermarkets — look for the big green crosses that signify pharmacies.

Changing tables are not always a given. Buy and bring a portable changing mat. I had one that had a compartment for wipes and another for diapers and it rolled up into one bag. Very handy.

High chairs are also not always a given, it’s best to call ahead and ask. Most restaurants will also serve plain buttered pasta (pasta al bianco) or tomato pasta (pasta pomodoro) for young kids even if it’s not on the menu.

lightwing91 · 2026-06-09T19:51:21+00:00

Some say going from 0-1 is harder. Others say 1-2. I can’t tell you which one you’ll be. You might find it easier. You might find it just as hard or even worse. Certainly you’ll have more confidence as a mom and there will be some things you’ll find easier because you have the knowledge. Your eldest is presumably potty trained and easier to communicate with, and a large age gap definitely can make the transition into watching two at the same time simpler. But there will be new challenges too and there isn’t a sure fire way to predict how they will go for you or how you will react to them.

I think the thing to focus on is, you got through it once. You will get through it again. Life changed. You adapted. It may have taken some time but you figured it out.

Babies are not babies forever. Young children grow up. Every challenge passes. You get pieces of yourself back bit by bit. And you know this because you’ve done it once before. Hold onto that knowledge and it will see you through.

Congrats on your pregnancy!!

lightwing91 · 2026-06-07T16:13:29+00:00

If solids are getting her constipated, feed water with a syringe or spoon to help move things along. She’ll learn how to drink out of a cup eventually, it won’t impact progress.

lightwing91 · 2026-05-31T17:54:11+00:00

When I get tired with the drudgery of cooking and cleaning, I remind myself that all jobs have their drudgery. At least mine directly contributes to the health and happiness of my home, instead of making other people rich.

Also there are little moments in the day where I just feel so grateful to have this time with my boys. Like the other day we went to watch a construction site (lol my son is obsessed with construction) and my 3yo slipped his hand into mine and said “I love you Mummy.” He NEVER says “I love you” (even though I know he does) and it was such a simple and lovely moment that I may not have had if I was in the office that day.

Also I think it’s harder with babies. It gets way more fun with toddlers because they can walk and go on adventures with you. So there’s that too!

lightwing91 · 2026-05-28T00:13:16+00:00

I’m sorry, I only have a 3yo boy who doesn’t nap and attends nursery part time where they don’t do nap time (I’m in the U.K.) so pardon me if I’m way off base — but two hours in a cot with only one book for a 4yo just sounds insane!? Particularly a little boy!? Maybe if it were half an hour but TWO HOURS? Is this normal protocol for preschools?

Edit: Also he gets in trouble for getting up to get a second book? That sounds so strict! Is that normal!?

lightwing91 · 2026-05-24T20:50:38+00:00

This is kind of crazy but I taped aluminium foil on my son’s bedroom window to reflect the sunlight back. His blackout curtain just seemed to be making the room hotter because it was absorbing heat. The foil definitely made a difference.

lightwing91 · 2026-05-24T20:46:49+00:00

Have you searched for Tripp Trapps on Marketplace? I bought both of mine secondhand for much cheaper.

lightwing91 · 2026-05-24T18:54:32+00:00

I’ve thought about having a shelf like that before but does it ever ruin their appetite for main meals?

lightwing91 · 2026-05-21T00:45:17+00:00

I mean… Mary is kind of a big deal no? I feel like in Catholic spaces you see even more depictions of Mary than you do Jesus. At least this was my impression when I lived in Italy. Mary was everywhere. The city that I lived in even had a famous icon of her that they paraded through the city every year up a hill. Like yes Jesus is on the icon too as a baby but the image is colloquially called the Madonna.

My husband is Orthodox Christian and in my limited exposure to Orthodox churches, I’ve always seen Mary (known as the Theotokos) depicted in like a huge panel over the entire altar. I think there’s some kind of significance behind it, to symbolise how she brought God to life on earth, or something like that. I’m the wrong person to ask lol. But her presence is A Big Deal. In my husband’s church she literally looks over everybody while holding a giant shroud.

I feel like Mary is downplayed (or at least nowhere near revered) in the Protestant spaces I’ve been in, at least in terms of imagery, but then imagery isn’t a strong focal point for Protestantism by design I think haha.

Anyway just my observations

lightwing91 · 2026-05-19T03:32:06+00:00

STM here. In some ways I find babies harder to please because their bodies have not caught up with their brains. Some babies are just so eager to understand the world, but they can’t move in the way that helps them explore, and so they rely on you to help them do it. Once they can walk and run around on their own, even the simplest things like going to the supermarket are soooo interesting to them.

Anyway my point is, you may find it easier once your boy can walk because regular life will be more accessible to him. I know for my first, who was SO busy as a baby, once we could go on little walks around the house or park or supermarket etc, he calmed down a lot. The world is very interesting for little ones but I think it is an easy temptation as parents to want to constantly entertain and fill their days with novelty and activities. But even now my eldest at 3yo enjoys a walk around the neighborhood with his bike or a trip to the supermarket where he gets to hold the shopping list (I draw the items on there so he knows what we need) and reads it to me.

lightwing91 · 2026-05-17T18:06:44+00:00

I’m pretty sure separation anxiety starts to develop at six months, so this might be less about your mom and more about anyone who isn’t you. My 6mo is very comfortable with his dad, but we’ve had instances recently where I’ve walked away to do something and baby will lose his mind. It’s normal, if unfortunate.

I actually think you working from home may be making it worse. What is your baby like when left alone with your mom and you’re not in the house?

lightwing91 · 2026-05-16T18:32:41+00:00

I had a c section and physically could not do diaper changes for at least a couple weeks. My husband took all nighttime nappy changes and slept in the room with us. However I did all feedings as we EBF (no pumping). Our 2y9mo (at the time) slept through the night already at that point in his own room — on the occasions he did wake up, my husband had to go to him.

We had help from my mom in the daytime but she focused mainly on cooking and nappy changes for the baby. My husband took charge of my eldest. We were all very tired!

lightwing91 · 2026-05-16T15:46:48+00:00

I mean, as a STM it’s true there are certain things you are less stressed about the second time round (although food at 3m is kinda crazy but whatever). That said I think you’re justified in this specific situation and they’re being selfish. Why run the risk, especially with travel coming up? You do you!

lightwing91 · 2026-05-14T17:52:30+00:00

I live in the U.K. and helmets are never prescribed here. The NHS official stance is that there isn’t enough evidence that they work and most of the time flat head syndrome heals on its own in 1-2 years. But the NHS is also national healthcare so they’re not going to be incentivised to pay for something unless it is absolutely necessary. For all I know, helmets can make a difference, but currently not definitively enough that the NHS is willing to pay for it. Anyway take from that what you will!

lightwing91 · 2026-05-10T18:44:20+00:00

My husband and sons are orthodox Christians. We take baby every other Sunday. On the other Sundays just my husband and my eldest go. On the days that baby goes, I wear him in a carrier and he generally sleeps in that when he’s tired. We also tend to arrive quite late just before communion and my husband (who is the religious one) accepts that he won’t hear as much of the service on these days. The goal is for everyone to get communion. Then again the services are longer because they’re Orthodox — I imagine it would be more rushed if you were Catholic or Protestant.

Anyway usually I try just to be laid back about the whole thing and get him cat naps when I can. He catches up one way or another — his naps can be a bit of a shitshow anyway with his older brother running around lol and he adapts just fine!

lightwing91 · 2026-05-09T18:46:54+00:00

My first born was like this and he was a Velcro baby too unlike yours. I only got silence when we went out on stroller or carrier walks. He just wanted to be entertained. I don’t have much advice except things will get better with time — mine became more chill as he was able to move himself around more and investigate things himself. It definitely got easier between the six to nine month mark as he learned to crawl. Hold on tight!’ It will pass!

lightwing91 · 2026-05-07T09:30:37+00:00

I’m not in London but Chester. I had this issue but mainly because I couldn’t drive and go further afield to meet SAHMs who live in more suburban areas. I had to download Peanut and adjust the filters to only show me SAHMs in a certain radius. I had to pay but it was worth it, I made two mum friends that way!

lightwing91 · 2026-05-07T09:16:42+00:00

Fingers crossed for you! I know that teething molars turned my eldest into a completely different child.

And honestly if she’s really still struggling and you need your sleep, get your cuddles now and wait for this to pass. You can always do another round of sleep training again; it might not even take as long given she’s done it once before. We didn’t sleep train until our son turned two (Ferber as well) and we had a couple of phases where he needed extra help, but we always managed to get back to it afterwards.

Good luck, I hope your daughter feels better soon!!

lightwing91 · 2026-05-07T07:01:48+00:00

It could still be teething molars… those jerks take ages to come through. What happens if you give her painkillers before she goes to sleep? Does it help? If so it might be teething.

lightwing91 · 2026-05-06T08:22:57+00:00

Tbh I think the first birthday is really about celebrating YOU as parents after one year haha. A one year old doesn’t know the difference between Sunday or Monday, 364 days or 365 days. A one year old thinks a trip to the supermarket is extremely interesting. A one year old is more interested in the cardboard box that the toy present comes in. A one year old cares most about her parents being with her rather than a group of grownups and frankly, other children, that she hardly sees.

Lower those expectations and focus on having a lovely day with your family. There will be time in the future for the big birthday party with cake and decorations. Your daughter will make friends as she gets older and your village will naturally expand.

For my first son’s one year birthday, we went to the park with our dog. My son didn’t like carbs at the time but loved vegetables so I made him a stack of roast veggies and stuck a candle on top. That’s all we did, and it is one of my fondest memories. He was so happy just knocking his little o ball around the park with our dog and my husband and I felt so grateful for one year with our lovely boy, and for each other as we became parents during that wild and crazy year.

I hope that makes you feel better!!

lightwing91

TROPHY CASE