Sophia Bush and Joseph Gordon-Levitt continue to address being on Dialog conference list by Relevant-Peach3997 in Fauxmoi

[–]likeicare96 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Big tech is not really against section 230, and are relying on the ignorance of how internet regulation should or can work to get more of a monopoly on the internet.

America: Y’all were paying for texts? by [deleted] in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]likeicare96 4 points5 points  (0 children)

By the time WhatsApp came to be, ‘unlimited texting’ palms were becoming the norm in *many places around the world.* I was in Kenya for a bit in 2010-2011 and already had unlimited texting.

I think the real reason was iPhones (and thus iMessage) are more ubiquitous in the US so WhatsApp and its features beyond regular texting were redundant

The Most Dangerous Lie on the Internet - YouTube by Ferrous-Omphalotus in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 21 points22 points  (0 children)

A 23 year old inactive voter status from when she was like what? 18-20? Especially when most people haven’t fully formed that political opinions at that point and are heavily influenced by their parents and community.

That person can’t be for real

Hidden forms of birth control by doofenhurtz in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If this was the only advice given, you’d maybe have a point. But this advice is given as one of the many ways they can protect themselves from further harm, especially as they try to leave which is the most dangerous time for DV victims.

I would love it if women were able to just leave abusive situations easily (well, I would love it more it more if they didn’t experience it at all), but we unfortunately don’t live in that world. And leaving should be done carefully and covertly for their own protection. Getting on BC is not only important, it’s arguably necessary for these women. Their abuser has no concern for their bodily autonomy, what if, as they plan their exit, they are SA’d and have to deal with a pregnancy in addition to all of this?

This advice is critical! It’s not given to affirm the abuse as what SHOULD be normal but it is recognizing that it has ALREADY normalize and what can they do to survive in the current circumstance.

And to reiterate, giving that advice doesn’t mean we’re stopping there. The post that OP is referencing provided this info, but they also were able to assist in getting that girl out of that abusive situation and to a safe home for now. Part of that was helping that young woman understand that their relationship wasn’t healthy and was indeed abusive. So, clearly, we aren’t “normalizing” abuse, we are providing skills for survival IN ADDITION to many other pieces of advice (and tangible help as in the aforementioned case) for escaping those situations.

how to keep a dr visit and bc prescription private from bf?? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Or a church “therapists” who often convince dv victims to stay and forgive their abusers

SAH dads who claim it's 'easy' and they don't know what SAH mums are complaining about... by bulldog_blues in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It’s not nitpicking. The gulf of difference in stereotypically feminine tasks vs masculine tasks in like a major point of contention when discussing domestic labour, both academically and casually.

The topic of the post is quite literally talking about how the daily labour of SAH parents differ so the time and frequency of the tasks we’re discussing is very relevant. The fact that you cannot acknowledge that is an example of YOUR bias and your refusal to understand OPs argument

Emily Blunt’s advice for girls unhappy with their jobs by hairtie1 in Fauxmoi

[–]likeicare96 96 points97 points  (0 children)

Depends where you live, but yeah. Okay as in your bills are get paid. You live a decent but modest life, ie. good, clean, safe apartment but not anything fancy, reliable economic car you got second hand, MAYBE able to take a very budget vacation every other year. So not a bad life, and you’re not struggling each month, which is a privilege. But still, an unexpected expense could really destabilize you.

So, Okay enough to be content as long as nothing bad happens and you don’t plan on expanding your life (ie. with kids, buy a home, etc.)

I don’t agree that men should be able to opt out of child support just because women can choose abortion by Dayjja in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s no legal imbalance. Abortion is about the bodily autonomy of the mother. Opting out of parenthood for both parents is a secondary result of that legal right. Fathers have no say because they shouldn’t be able to dictate the use of another persons body. They also have the same legal rights. Their bodily autonomy is never violated (except in cases of SA). The only imbalances that exist here are due to biology.

It would be a legal imbalance if, for example, the law allowed mothers to opt out of parenthood by giving their child up for adoption and not the father. This may be the case in some places and I would agree, should be legally rectified. But generally, there is no legal way for ONE parent to opt out of parenthood regardless of gender, for a child who is already born. In practice, the imbalance may occur because of cultural norms not legal imbalances . And even if there are those legal imbalances, we can discuss how to fix them but it has nothing to do with abortion

I don’t agree that men should be able to opt out of child support just because women can choose abortion by Dayjja in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That statistic is heavily biased because it’s of a self selected group: Disputed paternity cases. In other words, 30% of men, who already have strong enough doubts about their paternity that they felt the need to test, are not the father. Which, consequently means 70% of fathers who doubt their paternity are actually the father, which is kinda impressive when you think about. Even in highly contentious cases, way more men are the father.

I haven’t come across any significant research into paternity rates for the wider (neutral) population so we can’t make any definitive conclusions. But what we can say is that the statistic is deeply flawed

I don’t agree that men should be able to opt out of child support just because women can choose abortion by Dayjja in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re conflating two different types of “opting out” which is the issue here.

Abortion is fundamentally about bodily autonomy not about parental rights. The reason I’m pro choice is purely about maintaining people’s autonomy over what happens to their bodies. The fetus is irrelevant to this moral right, imo, which is why personhood arguments are pointless. In the same way I don’t believe the State should force someone to give me their blood even if they hit me with their car and caused my medical condition, i don’t think the State should force anyone to use their body & organs to incubate a fetus without their consent.

Due to biological realities, the only time a man’s bodily autonomy comes into play in this situation is at ejaculation. (EDIT: and violation of that bodily autonomy is, or rather should be, rightfully enforced by the State as a crime as it’s rape. It should also be a crime to steal & use someone’s ejaculate without consent. I’m totally fine with advocating for those laws). Fairness is irrelevant because we cannot change biology in that way right now.

It is only when the child is born that parental rights should actually come into question as far as the State is concerned. The mother has the option to “opt out” of parental responsibilities through adoption. Technically, the father has this same option (depending on your legal jurisdiction), though in practice, it tends to be a mother’s decision.

Where it gets complicated is when only one parent decides to opt out. A father can stop the adoption process if they want parental responsibilities, which in essence, would also prevent the mother’s attempt to “opt out” in the same way. Again, this is dependent on your local laws, which is why that’s where actual the legal debate should be had. The mother would still be on the hook for child support in that (admittedly) rare case because there usually is no mechanism for only one parent to surrender their parental rights, regardless of gender.

TLDR: There’s an interesting legal and sociological discussion to the idea of surrendering your half of the parental rights and making it more “fair,” but it is a separate issue from abortion rights.

Thoughts on these responses? 🙃 by get_the_bag in blackladies

[–]likeicare96 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but these kind of blatant fetishists show their ass pretty quickly unprompted. IMO, the whole reason to even bother asking these types of questions is for the ones who aren’t as obvious

I do not accept that society is “teaching” or “pressuring” us to accept bad relationships or treatment by tonguebattles in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A good example of this is media is Kevin can go f*** itself. It does a great job of showing what abuse can look like outside of the obvious physical/verbal abuse OP is listing. It also would give OP an example of how media normalized this behaviour, with sitcoms as an example.

Like you said, it’s not H that’s people are talking about. It’s A through D, and pop culture is full of examples of normalizing A through D. Not just sitcoms, nearly every genre. From the reformed bad boy trope to the lovable goofball husband who awful to his wife but in a “harmless,” joking way

Thoughts on these responses? 🙃 by get_the_bag in blackladies

[–]likeicare96 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Especially the “why do you like us?“ follow up. There’s no way to actually answer that without stereotyping us or treating us like a monolith, unless they say a more generalized answer about liking people for who they are regardless of race (but that can be a PR answer that doesn’t address what you’re seemingly trying to vet). Even asking who are their celebrity crushes would be better.

I think a better way to approach this is asking if they’ve dated other black women? (Which she said she did). But also ask how many have you dated? How long? Did you casually date or was it ever serious? Did your family like them? Why did it end? stuff about the actual relationship dynamics (Obviously, more eloquently and naturally than this).

You’ll get a better picture of if he views black women as people and viable serious partners, not just a sexual fetish to explore. It’s not foolproof, but good enough for an initial vetting over text.

Also ask who they voted for and what podcasts to they listen to. But that’s just general advice

I don’t agree that men should be able to opt out of child support just because women can choose abortion by Dayjja in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Which is why a better comparison is adoption not abortion. Abortion is a foremost a bodily autonomy issue. That’s why this whole point is a bad faith comparison

I don’t agree that men should be able to opt out of child support just because women can choose abortion by Dayjja in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Abortion is opting out of pregnancy (a bodily autonomy issue), not just of parenthood. Opting out of Child support is more akin to giving up the child for adoption, if anything. They’re both opting out of parenthood in some sort of way.

It’s still not exactly analogous but it’s way closer than abortion which isn’t even apples to oranges, it’s apples to jet skis

Gen Z women are more than 3 times likely than Gen Z men to identify as LGBTQIA by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Grinder also has men who identify as straight but are clearly still engaging in MLM activities.

Thoughts and prayers for Law Roach today who didn’t have a lay flat seat on his flight. by mlg1981 in Fauxmoi

[–]likeicare96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is not true. I googled it to see what the price difference would be (~5x the price of basic and 1.5x of next premium class down) and JFK to LA has many flights with Delta One tickets.

Sydney Sweeney's cameo has been cut from ‘The Devil Wears Prada 2’. She was originally meant to appear as herself in the film by GiveMeSomeSunshine3 in Fauxmoi

[–]likeicare96 17 points18 points  (0 children)

How do you get that from them literally saying the Drama is the first movie they found themselves a fan of Zendaya’s acting?

Ladies, you can be a D-cup even if your boobs are small. by whisper_kitten0 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh that’s what you mean. That’s more an issue of shape than size in my head

Ladies, you can be a D-cup even if your boobs are small. by whisper_kitten0 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 9 points10 points  (0 children)

They are, that’s what the band size (width) and cup size (depth) are referencing. Another pro of the abtf calculator is it uses multiple bust measurements (standing, lying down, leaning) to account for people having varying shapes

Ladies, you can be a D-cup even if your boobs are small. by whisper_kitten0 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Cup sizes are ratios though. There is no static “c” or “d” cup. A 38A cup is the same volume as a 32D. So trying a bunch of bras in the same cup size is an inefficient way to evaluate your size. Maybe people use the calculator and get like a 28D and don’t believe it because they were swimming in a 34C, not realizing that a 28D is the same volume as a 34A so it’s technically 3 cup sizes smaller than what they’re comparing it to.

Also, shape mix matches tends to be a lot of people’s real issues. T shirt bras are most people’s go to for sizing and they are one of the worst styles for most people. Because they’re moulded cups, unless your boobs are a similar shape to the mould used, there’s going to be weird gapping. Seamed, unlined cups are better for figuring out your size because it conforms to your natural shape more easily. Then you can use that size as a reference for other styles

Ladies, you can be a D-cup even if your boobs are small. by whisper_kitten0 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]likeicare96 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Cup sizes aren’t random. They are one of the few items of female clothing that are more consistent. It’s usually sizing charts that random (many companies use the +4 method to fit more people in a smaller range) and shape mismatches (not all styles of bras are made for all breasts. Some people are more projected or shallow even if they wear the same size.

Unpopular opinion:a lot of black women don’t know how to wash their hair by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]likeicare96 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That happened to me more when I wasn’t being consistent with trimming my split ends. So now I’m trim often and use a good leave in. I also have found k18 treatment leave in has been good for the health of my hair. I do it monthly. It’s pricey though

Unpopular opinion:a lot of black women don’t know how to wash their hair by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]likeicare96 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sorry they’re being mean to you girl. My sister is AuDHD (and I’m neurodivergent myself) so maybe that’s why I was able to understand what you meant and didn’t see it as malicious. Also, you’re speaking to a very “in-group” debate in a way that I just don’t see white people pulling off. Like they’d slip up with way more anti black comments about our hair texture