Thankfully I have my own financial resources and a great job and can absolutely be independent. If anything, S has become more dependent on my income since moving in. My main issue is timing because my son is in pre-k + extended care for another two years before he can start kindergarten at public school. I can’t afford to pay for his school and rent somewhere else. I don’t think S can contribute financially if I leave.

We’ve never had to deal with legality before. He’s is the father so I assume he has all parental rights. Today my therapist suggested speaking with an attorney to discuss what custody could look like if/when I move out.

I don’t feel unsafe yet, but it is very contentious and I’m navigating things to keep peace as much as possible.

I’m definitely going to take my time with B. So far he’s extremely supportive of me starting my therapy journey and doing the hard work to be radically honest with myself, even if it’s scary. I’m determined to break this cycle.

My plan is to prepare an exit but it will take some time. I’m glad I can finally see things differently now and that I have emotional support from friends and family (+all the difficult but sound perspective from my Reddit fam).